h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

All right! Now there's a place for late night snacks!

You found me!

Wait, wait, I'm not ready yet. Gotta order equipment, get some stock in.

*scrubs counters, dusts shelves*

*puts non-perishables on shelves*

*places magazines in racks, stacks newpapers neatly*

*aim securicams for optimum viewing*

*hopes equipment from CLI arrives soon*

*incoming forum transfer from Automated Forum Transfer system*

To: Witty Moniker
From: Crater Labs, Inc. (Afgncaap5, Garius Lupus)
Re: Your Order

Witty Moniker, we've got your order, and it's been beamed to this forum. Please check to make sure that the order is correct.

Refridgerator (1)-Infinite Capacity installed, allowing you to put an infinite amount of goodies inside it without taking up any extra space. Has a glass door with a handy little Autamated Retreival System, coupled to a Holographic Contents Display. The ARS/HCD will do the following: Show a miniature version of the contents of the fridge. By touching the picture of the item(s) you wish to have, the ARS will move the item(s) selected to the front of the fridge. Any order of more than one item will put all items into a bag for convenience.

Miocrowave (1)-Has a handy telepathic receiver which will tell the machine just how to perfectly heat the item(s) to be heated.

Coffee Machine (Standard Store Model) (1)-Provides Dishwater and Burnt coffee.

Coffee Machine (Good Brand) (1)-Actually produces good tasting coffee.

Sleerpeez Machine (1)-Works like an "every flavor bean" of the modern classic "Harry Potter" series, giving you any flavor of sleerpeez that can be imagined. And possibly more...

Scanner Portal (1)-Will allow customers convenience and inconvenience to shoplifters by automatically deducting the amount of money due, or adding the amount of money to their tab.

If you have any problem with the order, please feel free to contact us back at CLI. Meanwhile, have a nice day!

And remember: Explosions Build Character!

Ah, I see the delivery made it! Good. If you have any problems with the machinery, just contact CLI!

*starts preparing sandwiches, making soup, baking carrot cakes*

*places orders for milk, cream, soda and ice tea*

*whistles a happy tune*

*Waits for the first sandwich to be finished, and clears his throat*

I don't suppose I could order a sandwich, could I?

*whirls around, straightens hair, puts on a brand new apron*

Hi, Affi!

What can I get you?

*enters carrying a box of donuts*

Where would you like these put, Moniker?

ooh and can I get some matches? we're hoping to have a bonfire in the garden, but we keep forgetting to buy them irl...

Hi, Moniker. Do you have this month's issue of "Hot Klingon Babes"?

btw, I read somewhere that the Space Centre has a 28-hour rotation... Does that mean you get a 4-hour lunchbreak?

*hands over a fistfull of matches*

I keep these behind the counter. I sell matches, but I don't sell tobacco.

*takes donuts and put them out in aisle 4*

Can I get you anything else?

Hi, Peet.

~Those~ magazines are behind the counter. *Hands a copy over.*

I'll have to speak to Alien about the rotation thingy. But it really doesn't matter, as the store is self-serve when I'm not here.

Thanks Moniker

Thanks, Moniker! Can I put in a regular order for this, and "Romulan's Wives", please.

You're welcome, Joanna.

Sure, Peet. I'll put your name on a copy of each when they come in. If I'm not here, just look behind the counter.

*gives the place the once over, wipes down the counter*

*places sign on counter*


Self Serve

Ah, not let's see how the machines function when in a store!

*Picks up the holographic imager and orders some hot coffe and a sandwich. He opens the fridge door, and sees the sandwich (peanut butter and pickle) and the hot coffee*

I think I'll just make this one of my usual hang outs.

Hey good work done here!
*walks around the store in search for something*

* Peet seeks out the "shop issue" coffee machine for a pint of burnt coffee, seeing as it's free...