h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Cricket - How To Shell A Catch - A45714422
Author: Skankyrich [?] - midwinter gardener - U931109

I wouldn't ask the competitors to do anything I wouldn't try myself. So here's my Shell, in response to the Stretcher challenge at A45546744

Excellent - and kudos for swinging things round from could have been a boring 'How To Take A Catch' Entry.

Is this to be first in a series of 'Sporting Errors', including 'How To Blast a Penalty Wide', 'How To Collapse A Scrum' and 'How To Bounce a Dart Off The Nail Above The Dartboard and Into the Pint of the Irate Navvy at the Bar'?

B

...and indeed 'How To Make A Total T**t of Yourself in Front of the World's Media and get Sacked from the most Prestigious Job in England Cricket'?

B

I think the latter has been done fairly well already, B.

Where do you find the time Rich?

to

Ms GB

Superb, Rich

I never knew a place like this could give me an education

()

Re-reading this, it appears that I knew how to do this already. No learning for me here.

As an expert in this technique I can add that any (however minor and half-imaginary they may be) 'disabilities' you may have can be used to full effect if you're accused of dropping the catch on purpose. Things like 'but you know I can only see out of one eye' or 'my gammy leg was playing up so I couldn't get into position quick enough' can work wonders They might make you less likely to be picked for the team in the future, mind you.

I like it. Reminds me of Michael Hussey's recent attempt at a catch in a recent test against South Africa (type "Hussey catch" into well-known video sharing site before Cricket Australia get to it...)

Thanks folks

Read the Editorial in , Psyc, and you'll find I actually don't have time

You could mention the walk backwards and fall over technique that I've seen used to great effect.

This line ~ Once there, they'll stand in a solid triangular position ~ not all of us are hung like that Rich !

Nice work, Rich - I had no idea that the technique I honed so carefully over years of PE lessons actually had a name... My personal favourite was the 'let the ball pass clean through your hands and hit you on the forehead' technique

Another tip for shelling a catch (at least in my experience) is to think too much about catching it. If the ball is skied by the batsman, standing in the outfield thinking "oh my god, the ball's coming to me; I can't catch, what am I going to do; everyone's watching me - this is going to be so embarrassing; everyone will blame me when we lose; I've got to catc..." is guaranteed to ensure the thing ends up on the ground. This is why I inevitably ended up as the scorer...

Nice one. No suggestions from me.

You've been coaching the Windies, I take it?

Great entry, Skanks

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