h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

.... when knights were bold
and women weren't invented.
Men drilled holes in telegraph poles
and had to be contented

Nowhere near as good as yours but I'm no poet (also, it's not original).
So, you're interested in history? I always wanted to study it but... well, don't need to go into that now. I'm seriously thinking of getting some kind of Racial Equality commission onto Mr. William Shakespeare for picking on people and promoting grudges. I'm thinking specifically here of Richard III (I'm from Yorkshire so it's a bit of a sore point that his supreme sacrifice in the Wars of the Roses in order that we may remember the colours of the rainbow isn't more lauded!) but he didn't like Jews, women etc etc.

Anyway, that's it. I just wanted to visit your page. And now I know I can't keep up with the intellectual banter here, I'll bow out gracefully, but look forward to seeing your comments around the place.

Sho
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Hi Sho,

You come back here and don't suggest I get into intellectual banter!! The poem was written for me by Moondancer, who you may have noticed around the site - she is a really bonza sort and very interested in history. While I am no fan of the historical Richard III I have always thought that Shakespeare got a lot closer to the insides of the man than any historian has managed so far.

And please, do go into why you always wanted to study history but (I assume) something got in the way or whatever. I always wanted to as well, and finally my beloved persuaded me to go to university as a mature-age student (because you are old you don't have to qualify under the usual admissions criteria like high entrance scores etc). One of the best things I ever did. My point is - it is never too late. Take care,

Walter.

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Good Morning (middle of thenight)

Actually I only defend Dickon (as his friends - this presupposes that he had some! - apparently called him) because we're from Yorkshire. God's own country, home of cricket. (now I'm running away, since I'm sure you have lots to say about that!) I'm still not convinced that he actually murdered (or had the intention to murder) the princes. One of his lackeys did them in for sure, but maybe not on his specific orders - or maybe he was deliberately vague. We'll never know. They probably wouldn't have survived in those days anyway! (it's on my arm btw, I like to show it off)

I took an enforced 3 1/2 years off (my company closed down whilst I was pregnant with daughter nr. 1) and didn't enjoy it one bit. I had daughter number 2 relatively close behind nr. 1 (19 months exactly) to help me get back to work, but employ a woman with 2 nippers in Germany? Most companies would rather cut their collective tongues out! So, I finally persuaded my husband (a Chef) that he should take paternity leave (you get 3 years per child, to be shared between parents if you want) and I landed a nice job. Now he works evenings and we have 2 days a week where we need a babysitter for 2 hours. It works quite well, so far. But I'm not really a children person, so I'm glad he does this for me. (My kids are now nearly 4 and 2 1/4)

Princess of a daughter - I know that one. How old is she? And why does your sister eat dog biscuits (do all Aussies eat them, Mel Gibson does!!) As to my mum - she will eventually show up on h2g2 (she has registered) when I show her what to do next weekend. She has an stone owl (Tron) whose spirit sits on her shoulder. He talks to her, and she talks right on back. She's great. She really liked the English thing, one of her tutors was Barry Hines (he wrote Kes) who is local and she's become a big fan of his. She recently took up Archery as a hobby - another life long dream.

Why is it harder after 32? How old are you (If I might be so bold) you have me worried now, because I'm past that. Should I check into an old folks home right away?

Napoleon, good bloke - bit short!! (I read a great description of him in one of the Sharpe novels, but I don't know how accurate it is)
Mandela - cool bloke. Long Walk to Freedom should be compulsory reading
Queen Bess - I reckon she was a lot like an old (female) boss of mine. More masculine than the men, and a bad tempered old boot. You have just finished an assignment - are you still at your studies? It must be great. I really envy you.

I was always a big fan of Lenin, right up to where he took over as leader of the country. Then he was corrupted by his absolute power. I saw him when I was in Moscow in 1979, eerie. But I think he gave the Russians just what they wanted, the feeling that they were free, but opressed as usual. They can't cope unless they are ruled by a dictator. Look what's happening to them now.

I have to say that I admire people like Queen Bess, Mandela, the "usual suspects", but also people like Emmeline Pankhurst and all the pioneering women who went to Uni and became doctors etc. against society's wishes. But then, as a woman, I would, wouldn't i?

I won't be around for a while, I'm off on a biz trip to Korea. My mum is flying in to look after the gruesome twosome, so I hope they'll be ok (probably won't miss me at all!) See you in a week or so!
Sho
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Hi Sho,

A lot to chat about, but perhaps I'll hold on to it until your return. A business trip to Korea?!! That's some business. Take care and give me a hi after you get back, when you have a moment, if you would like to. By the way, she really is a Princess of a daughter too, I could sometimes weep with pride just to look at her.

Walter

Hi Sho.

Walter said that you liked my poem I wrote for him, thank you, the best things in life are even better when shared . .

Don't let Walter worry you about the over 32 bit. If you want to learn any time is great. I'm 48 and I went back to study at 42 when my father died and I realised that life is short and you don't get another chance. I have not gone to university but that is because I am satisfied with the subjects I am doing and a big part of it is the school and the teacher. I am at a woman's co-op (that also takes men students) and the teacher every couple of years takes a group of her students to Europe or wherever they are studying and want to go. I went to Greece the year I went.

The school is great because it has students from 20 to 80 of tremendously enthusiastic people, One year we had an 18 year old girl who had MS and was in a wheelchair, and unable to go to regular school. She was a very intelligent girl and fitted in well and worked well with everyone. But we have older ladies who come to class to keep their minds agile, and put more in life than just growing old.

I hope we don't sound like a bunch of old crocks, but if you want to learn grab it with both hands. I have been told the class is doing philosophy next year. And my heart beat faster and my fingers tingled, I can hardly wait, philosophy, from those lovely old Greeks.

I hope Walter doesn't mind me getting on this thread to say hi .
You have to watch him he is a charmer. Put another on the list Lizzy, Walter and Moondancer are Virgo.

Hope to see you when you are home.

Moondancer

Hello!!! The wanderer returns!
I have decided that I have to start an OU course by the time I'm 40. Which gives me 3 years. Still haven't decided, but probably history/philosophy/politics/psychology/English..........
Korea was great. I can't believe that the company sent me there. It was a reward for good work (ie. we were on a jolly, and not endless boring meetings). I'm probably going to write it up in an entry - I'll send you the link when I get round to it.
The funny thing was wherever we went (group of 9) I was the only white face. On one trip to a Bhuddist temple (2 actually) loads of schoolkids wanted to shake my hand. 2 young (very giggly) girls insisted on having my autograph!! The best thing was that 2 of my colleagues (Korean) took me round "downtown Seoul" and we had a great time - I'm sure I saw things that I wiouldn't have seen without them. And great food! I love it.
So, Walter - tell me all this stuff (and, how old is your daughter btw? Mine are nearly-4 - on New Years' Eve - and 2 and a bit)
Sho
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Hi Sho,

Nice to see that you are back safe and sound from Korea. It is very impressive that the locals were queuing up for your autograph. No-one ever asked for mine, except when we were all quite young, at school, and good friends got to write something childish in each other's autograph books. Although I do have Don Bradman's autograph, and Harold Larwood's. And Sir Edmund Hillary's, somewhere.

What a great lifestyle you and your family seem to have arrived at (although I'm not complaining about mine, let me tell you). What sort of chef is your man? And what line of work are you in that gets you 'rewards' of international travel? My beloved's brother now lives and works in Germany, with his wife and two little girls; I think they have been over there now for around six years. He is a teacher and is planning a quick visit back to Oz at Christmas.

There is nothing 'significant' about being over 32, well, not within reason anyway, it is just an expression that I use for anyone between about forty and about eighty, which included me, just. Even so, I think taking on any kind of institutionalised learning is a big step for 'mature-age' students, and it takes some get up and go and some courage for a lot of people to do it, because of uncertainty and lack of confidence. Most of my uni friends are 'mature-age' women (see, that's why I use 'over' 32) who never had the opportunity to go on to tertiary education, or their parents and/or partners thought it was a waste of time and gave them no encouragement or, most of all, my friends thought they were 'too dumb' or 'not intelligent enough' to be at uni. This voyage of self-discovery is just a wonderful thing Sho. When a friend, or you, gets that first essay back and it is credit, or a distinction, and you realise that you have made it, you can actually do it, that you are not a dummy, well, I tell you it is way up there in the top twenty things of your life. And to see what that can do to people's confidence, and self-respect, is just astonishing. You can watch people grow, just like watching plants grow.

Some years ago, my beloved didn't get a job she was doing and ought to have walked into (and I'm not biased - well I am, but you know what I mean). The panel said it would have helped if she had a degree, which was code for you are just a stenographer and a sheila and what do you know about managing an office. So Beloved thought right, I'll show you sods, and enrolled. She was terrified!! When she put in her first essay I thought she would have a nervous breakdown while awaiting the result. When she pulled a distinction for her very first effort, the relief and ecstasy was so great we had no choice but to crack a bottle of champers. Even now she still goes though torment waiting for marks and exam results; but since she won the university's English prize the worry is at least relative.

My Princess is twenty-something and married to - guess who - a German! No grandchildren yet, although it is certainly not for want of me tossing out hints. They live in Melbourne.

I fed my youngest sister dog biscuits because that's what older brothers do, isn't it? The practice stopped very quickly, because she liked them, especially the green ones.

Your mother sounds like just the kind of person h2g2 needs on line, I hope it is not too long before she and her owl, Tron, are flitting around the site.

Better go, work-related phone calls are mounting and I can't really ignore them for too much longer. Take care,

Walter

Walter! Boy, I missed you (very tempted to sign on to the hotel internet service, but thrift won in the end!!)

We used to do the autograph thing when I was at school, but I thought it the preserve of girlies. I'm impressed, though. Donald Bradman! Wait 'till I tell my other half! (currently slumped in front of the idiot box watching England vs. India, or is it Pakistan?) I've given up on Cricket a bit, it's all too tame, although some of the day-nighters I saw in the summer (a case of having to, living with the man I married!) were quite gripping towards the end.

Great lifestyle? I missed that bit! Actually, it is good, but we're still suffering from 3 years of no income from me, and it's taking it's time to settle down. Mick (for that is the other half's name) is, hm, how to describe this, a chef who is really really into food. In fact we used to subscribe to an Aussie magazine (Gourmet, it was called, then Gourmet Traveller) we tried loads of the recipes, and for quite a while it was touch & go if we would emigrate there. But I think we've missed the boat now. I should have taken the bull by the horns when I had the urge and transferred into the Australian Army. Still, no good regretting (Je ne regrette rien... not quite). At the moment he's working in a fairly good restaurant where he started off as "casual" (because he's officially on paternity leave from his job) but will start with a contract in January. They love him, which is good. He really lives to cook, so it was a bit mean of me to insist that he took his childcare turn. Although, I'm allergic to kids, so it's only fair

Where I work? It's a Korean company (surprise!) - massive company, in fact. We're a subsidiary which makes LCD panels. Not monitors, just panels. I work in the Europe office mostly keeping the customers happy. It's a real eye-opener working here, Korea is a very male dominated society, but we do well. It impresses them that I love (and can cope with) spicy food and eat with chopsticks (thanks, Mum) I just had my employee appraisal, which was good (of course) and my reward was a trip to the HQ. Actually they told me it was staff training but it was just a huge jolly. Which was great. I can only recommend the Seoul Grand Intercontinental (for those with a huge expense account only).

How does your beloved's brother (brother-in-law, or aren't you "official"?) and his family like it in Germany? Bit of a culture shock for you people from Down Under I think. I have an Australian friend who had to go back because she couldn't take the arrogance much longer! Do you know where they are? If they're in the south they're probably having a good time.

One of the big things stopping me taking up full time studies (actually, probably the only thing) is the lack of cash. I (fairly) recently took English Literature A-level (do you know these?) by correspondence, and waiting to get my essays back was hellish. But I always *shines fingernails on sleeve* got A or B. My final grade was B, which was pretty good since I hadn't had time to properly study 2 of the books. My tutor had even commented that it was nice to grade papers which were gramatically correct (!) - he'd been correcting papers for 6th formers and their spelling etc. was abysmal. Sad reflection on our education system (although my education was good, I have that to be thankful for)

Don't be nagging your Princess about grandchildren. I was married for 11 years before we decided (I decided) to have a baby. And, even now, I'm still thinking it was too soon! I thought about them a lot last week, but they didn't stop me going. I hope that doesn't make me a bad mum (although, I knew my childcare arrangements were second to none, so I didn't have that to worry about). When they saw me on Saturday morning it was great - grinning faces fit to burst and they spent the whole weekend one attached to each leg! I couldn't leave the room without one following me! Little lambs.

I used to make my brother eat dried cat food (he's 3 years younger) by telling him it was a new kind of breakfast cereal. Urgh.

My Mum probably won't be around h2g2 much (if at all). She's too busy - what with working, sewing, archery etc etc. I "do it" mostly at work, so it's not too bad. But she works for the local fire brigade, and they don't have Internet access.

So, now you know all about me......... your turn.
love
Sho
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Hi Sho,

Wow, your letters are full of interest. Me? there isn't a whole lot to tell. Maybe I'll do it this way.

Yesterday was the third or fourth day in a row which was fine and sunny and warm. So last evening, me and the beloved zipped home, got changed into easy clothes, piled Ben the Labrador into the car and drove down to North-West Bay reserve (about two kms away) and walked along the shore for an hour. We saw a pelican, dozens of black swans, scores of oyster catchers, thousands of gulls, a pair of herons, blue wrens, wattlebirds etc etc. Ben charged around in the grass having a bottler of a time and me and the beloved just strolled and thought what a wonderful thing extended daylight is. Back home, with Ben moulting all over the back seat, just in time to see one of our across-the-road neighbour's horses going s*****c with the boyfriend of its regular rider on top, although not for long because off he went at about the second buck. The mare galloped over into our back garden and we watched, amused, as the young woman who owns the horse came over, quietly mounted her and trotted back to crestfallen boyfriend, saying nary a word but looking awfully bloody smug, as you would.

Water the trees we planted on the weekend, then sit down to a glass of red before something to eat. Dinner was baguette and rocket and sundried tomatoes and fetta and olive paste and avocados and fresh tomatoes and cucumber, not necessarily but possibly in combination. Then we watched a bit of TV, because last night was the quiz show that is so appallingly bad that we have become addicted to it.

Another beautiful morning, you cannot but help wanting to get up early (it is light by five). Four wild ducks and three tame ones on the front lawns this morning, and a kookaburra in the front birch tree. I can hear but not see a skylark twittering away nineteen to the dozen. Shower, select dark grey suit and a tie I've only worn once before but it seems right for today, glass of orange juice, say hello to Ben and play chasing briefly and give him a stale roll from the weekend, the beloved arises (me and Ben playing is noisy enough to wake the dead and anyway we want her to come and play too), a quick chat and a cuddle and then drive into work, to the city, twenty minutes door to door.

Today I have a meeting at with a posse of union officials about a new wages agreement, another with the manager of the superannuation office; this afternoon it is Parliament where our new Bill should be finally passed, and then a meeting with the Commissioner for Public Employment. And I have to talk with some people about an appeal that has been lodged against an unfair dismissal decision that I ran (and thought I had won) a few weeks ago. That actually might sound a bit on the grand side, but our daily work routine is normally quite mundane, it's just that the past week or so has been unusually hectic as everyone tries to get things out of the way before the end of the year. Plus I have been putting stuff off rather a lot over the past couple of months while trying to finish of the uni assignments. Talking of uni, if there is time I want to whizz over there and collect my final history essay (and its mark of course). And that's more or less a day in the life of.

The beloved is a dab hand at cooking. As is her mother, who recently published a book called 'Cottages of the Colony', which consists of a number of line drawings of historic houses and cottages around the State plus recipes from each of the owners and a few bits of home-spun philosophy thrown in. Beloved's mother drew and wrote the lot, and the beloved desk-top printed it all up ready for the publishers.

Must go, it is 8.30 and the phones are ringing and the office door is opening and shutting a lot. Take care,

Walter.

Oh Walter, what a great life you have. Want to adopt me?

It's slowly dawning on me that you're a politician type of person? Perhaps I should doff my cap and bend my knee a bit when I write to you? (nah, doffing is not for me, and I'm having a bad hair day, which is why we have the cap in the first place)

Just to make you jealous and want to live here instead....
last evening staggered through the traffic, visited the doctor for my recurring sorethroat/earache, arrived home (in the dark) to 2 tired and grumpy children running around the place in their underwear being Spice Girls. Made an attempt to de-flea the pesky cats, and checked the kids for fleas & lice (yum). Didn't find any. Struggled a while getting pyjamas on etc, read The Tale of Tom Kitten (oh, exciting heady stuff) and finally collapsed in a heap on the sofa to watch tv. Dinner (I wish I'd had yours, but was very happy with pasta & vegetables in cheese sauce) plonked on my lap on a tray, as a treat in honour of my jet-lag, and had an exciting hour losing myself in the latest sci-fi rubbish (Andromeda, if you're interested, which is really Hercules in Space - it has the attraction of a rather muscle-bound chappie who is so poor he can't afford shirts. Shame!)

Then it was half a page of Titus Groan (I can't believe I haven't read this before) and off to the land of nod. 2 yr old "only" woke twice, which is some kind of record for her, before the alarm rang and the grey day began again. Highspot: breakfast of home-made granola with yoghurt (home-made too) and strong coffee. Yum.
Sigh. Sounds sad, doesn't it?

The headlines on the radio this morning covered the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire show, which had it's first million pound winner last night, coincidentally on the same night that the BBC were showing the last ever episode of a hugely popular comedy (One Foot In the Grave - do you know it?) where the lead character was killed in a bizzare accident. Hm. Strange that. (Even stranger that it should push Bush/Gore off the headlines)

Today I'm bullying my boys (colleagues) into giving me their requests for Christmas cards, maybe our customers will get them by Easter. I have never known such procrastinators (flaming Norah, how do you spell that?)

At least it's sunny!

How did the essay go?

Better go and earn a crust!

Sho
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Hi Sho,

Gee you know how to wound - fancy saying that I am a politician type person. I am a public servant, work in industrial relations, and sometimes get called to tell a Minister of the Crown (i.e. the Minister for Industrial Relations) complex things like what is the name of the labour legislation, or who is the leader of the Opposition, or what his computer password is. It is a good job and pays the rent and some left over, so I have no cause to complain, but as for being a politician-type person hey, I don't even vote and find politics, and politicians by and large, unutterably tedious. As for doffing your cap and bending your knee; if I didn't hope you were joking I would probably be really bashful, which is the main reason I hate talking about what I do etc.

Your day sounds like it has plenty of moments, although I'm not sure about the Christmas cards. My instinct is to not send any at all this year, except maybe to the beloved, my baby, and the dog biscuit-eating sister, but it seems somehow so mean-spirited and I really do like Christmas and the way it makes nearly everyone smile and lighten up a little even if only for a few hours or days. And I envy you the opportunity of reading the Tale of Tom Kitten to your babies; I love reading bedtime stories particularly to children, probably because I so used to look forward to it when I was a littly. And home-made granola and yoghurt, with fresh coffee, sounds pretty much okay to me.

Went AWOL this morning, as in I am here at work but felt restless, so went into the city (four minutes walk) to my favourite bookstore and wound up buying four books which, although on special, in total cost more than I should have spent. Still, a book is a book, isn't it? And bought some outrageously expensive but superb greetings cards, you know the ones you can use for almost any occasion except death or a dose of the pox; even Chriastmas if I succumb to convention, even if there isn't a sprig of holly, a reindeer, snow or a santa to be seen. But I noticed Santa was in town already. He must be uncomfortable, it is 25 degrees and climbing.

Got the essay back yesterday and no worries, but tomorrow we get the marks for the year. I think I'll be okay, but the beloved is getting herself sick with worry, which is a really silly thing to do because she will do just fine but no amount of me saying that makes any difference.

Talk with you soon, take care

Walter

Oh Walter,
I'm sooooooooo sorry for insulting you and soooooo relieved I got the wrong end of the stick Sounds as though if you should ever need (wish) to change jobs, you would do well looking after Kindergarten kids!

Go with your gut feeling and don't send Christmas cards. We only do (I'm actually an atheist) because it's a good chance to send everyone photos of the children (all our family live in England). Also, since we're moving house in January (good timing!) we can send our change-of-address cards at the same time. Thank the god of Home PCs that that is a very easy task these days. Oh, I've just had an idea: I'm only going to let people have my e-mail address and really break with tradition. Anyway, back to the cards, another reason we send them is that me and the girls have a great time making them by potato printing and glitter glueing every piece of coloured card we can find. And sometimes (when I have managed to keep a bit back) I make a donation to charity with the money I would have spent on cards & postage.

I brought the girls some Korean folk tales back with me, and they really love them. Which is just as well because I'm just about to throw Tom Kitten (and his daft sisters) in the bin! Every night for about 3 weeks they beg for Tom Flaming Kitten. Now it's the Greedy Princess and the Rabbit and the Tiger. I read to them a lot because I remember as a child I used to love it, and later on I was (still am) a real bookworm. I can't wait until they can read the Narnia books, Swallows and Amazons (if I can find them) and now Harry Potter. In fact as a kid I used to read so much my Dad used to throw me out of the house for 1 hour every day because he thought I looked so pale and wan (he didn't know, obviously, that it was a look I would cherish as a purple-haired black-lipsticked teenager) I foiled that by hiding a book under the dustbin and climbing a tree with it.

AWOL to a bookshop! Now I'm really jealous. That is the absolutely worst thing about living in a country where they have a different mother-tongue. When I get home (I still think of UK as home, strange that) I'm in the nearest bookshop in the blink of an eye, breathing in the atmosphere. I read a translation once of a book I know really well in English and it was, to put it bluntly, crap. So now I never read anything in German unless it is by a German author. I recently bought Die Blechtrommel by Gunther Grass, and am waiting for a weekend when I can really get into it.

Poor old Santa - must be torture for him over there. I'm surprised you haven't Aussified (as opposed to ossified) him yet - you know shorts and a t-shirt with a pair of sunnies. Or have you? Isn't it strange as a child to see all the white-Christmas type stuff when the sun is blazing down?

I hope you (and the beloved, of course) were happy with your grades. But isn't that also typical of a mature student? Working much harder than you would have as a youngster, worrying more, but inevitably getting better grades than you would have 15-20 years ago? That's how I think it would be for me, I coasted through my school years (I do have some brain cells left from that time, but not many) and regret not giving that extra spurt for really good grades instead of just good or ok ones. C'est la vie.

Anyway, I don't know if I told you already, but I wrote some "essays" (don't look at the grammer, I haven't checked them or anything) about my trip. There are 5, because as you've noticed I talk a lot. I linked them all up, so if you're interested you can have a look at: http://www.h2g2.com/A475977 which is Days 1 and 2, and leads on through 3 to 7!

got to go, work calls, have a good weekend
Sho
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Morning Walter!

Don't worry about not writing sooner, I know how it is. Sometimes I can't get in here, and I start to get severe withdrawal! I think I may becomming addicted. Somewhere here on h2g2 there is a self-help group type thing: I'm thinking of joining them.

I hate it that male teachers are treated as potential paedophiles etc. I was very glad to see that at Daughter Nr. 1's Kindergarten there is one man. (Pity it's not more, but there are only 5 "teachers" anyway). Where we are there aren't many one-parent families, so most of the children do have both male & female role models/influences, but in plenty of places there aren't, and to have a man in the Kindergarten is (in my opinion) a very important early influence, especially for the boys. Do you also have the suncreme thing? In summer teachers aren't allowed to help the children put on sunscreen. I'm assuming it's considered better for the little ones to get skin cancer than the very small risk that a paedophile touched them - even the female teachers aren't allowed to do this. Grr. But it's not just teachers who have to be careful, on more than one occasion I have had to resist the impulse to pick up a child that has fallen over at the playground and is lying there crying it's heart out - because the mother is chatting to her friends. Parents really should have to do a test! (although, maybe not - I'd probably fail the practical)

I love reading to my children. I don't have much contact with other kids, because I don't really get on with them. But writing and publishing a book for the little girl is a great idea. Did you use her in the story? I remember years & years ago that my mum got a book for my brother (in the early days of computers) which used his name, where we lived and some of his friends' names. He loved it, and as far as I know reads it to his kids now! Daughter Nr. 1 wants to be a princess, she wraps herself in a blanket and prances around with a train and a slave (Daughter Nr. 2) so sometimes I make up stories about her as princess. But we've never written them.... yet.

Don't talk to me about Christmas cards. I'm sending some out privately with photos and change of address cards. We are moving in Dec/Jan for the second time, and the whole family are convinced it is so that we can save a few marks sending out cards! In the office the cards have just arrived, I have to organise the printing of a greeting, signatures and getting them in the post on Monday or Tuesday. Also I'll have to manually type the addresses using.... gasp!.... a typewriter! The reason I'm doing all this? I don't trust anyone else to get them out before Easter 2001. Sigh.

St. Nicholas is coming to visit us at home on Sunday, which should be fun - Daughter Nr. 1 has a wish list longer than any gorilla's arm. I'm afraid she's going to be a little bit disappointed (but her birthday is on New Years' Eve, so she has a second shot at it all) The little one cries when she sees the assistants (4 blacked up men clanking chains) so I'll have to organise something else for her.

Anyway, I have to get off and do my Christmas card thing, and tell Moondancer (if she doesn't already know) that there is a Christmas poem "competition" in The Post (only I have entered so far, I think! - maybe I should tell her to stay away so I can win)

Don't tell me what you think of my "essays" they are very badly written, and not edited or checked at all. It will take me a while to get round to that.

Love
Sho
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Hi Sho,

I didn't think it would be possible to write at length about a trip to Korea and make it both informative and entertaining. Despite your admonition not to do so, I am going to give my opinion about your 'essays'. My opinion is 'terrific'. Another gifted and talented writer bursts on to the h2g2 scene. Are you going to put any and/or all of them up as edited entries or whatever it is they call the approved and recommended articles?

Of course, I don't actually know very much about Korea. I know there are two of them, and I don't think there is much for me to like about one of them. And I know that the South Koreans make cars, a lot of them, because my ex-wife has a Daewoo, a model described by a motoring magazine as the automobile equivalent of a low-tech toaster. I know a little about the Korean war, but not much more than any avid watcher of MASH would have picked up.

Santa arrived in Hobart, officially, during the last week of November which in my view was, as they say in the classics, a trifle previous. I wonder how Santas in stores get around the child molester problem encountered by teachers. Everywhere you go around here, little girls and boys are being enveloped by portly bizarrely dressed-up middle-aged men, or sat upon their knees and being asked inane questions, the most puerile of which and the bane of most parents is of course 'What would you like for Christmas sonny/dear etc?'

I have shored up my waning commitment to not sending Christmas cards, which is a bit daft really since I bought three dozen plus an appropriate number of postage stamps. I will have to send a few, but not as many as originally planned.

In the lift this morning I was buttonholed by a co-worker. Well, not buttonholed, exactly, because I am six feet and a bit tall and this woman is about the same height as a parking meter only nowhere near as slender. And anyway, what exactly is a co-worker? I mean this woman used to work in the same Department as me but in a different building, and now she works in the same building but doesn't work in the same Department. But I digress. The woman bypassed the normal pleasantries, as you would if the lift was also being shared by the State's Auditor-General, which it was. The thickened version of a parking meter said "I'm going to a meeting with your daughter next week." By the time we got to my floor, I had discovered that this assignation was to take place here in Hobart. My daughter lives in Melbourne, about 500 kms away. So I later telephone the little sod but still my Princess and say is there something you have forgotten/ought/would like/ to tell me, and she says oh yes, can you pick me up at the airport on Sunday and put me up for the night. Of course I can darling, and I will scarcely think of anything else until you arrive. That's the way it is with fathers and their princesses - I just wish that we still read bedtime stories together.

Talk with you soon. Take care,

Walter.

Hi Walter!

Well, I'm glad you liked the essays, although I'm not sure "informative" is a good way to describe them. Although.... I rather suspect that upon close scrutiny they say rather more about me than Korea. I'll have to have another look to make sure I'm not embarassing myself (that wouldn't be a first). I won't put them up for Editing, I'm not sure they're what the editors are looking for. There is an article about Kimchee (which I made a link to in my pieces) which is rather good though, so anyone who searches for Korea after reading that will find them.

Daewoo motors went bankrupt just before my visit. In UK they hadn't paid their workers for 2 months (I don't know how people with rent/mortgate to pay and kids cope with that, but that's another topic altogether) and whilst I was in Seoul there were a few demonstrations (which I didn't see, and which - as far as I could tell - weren't widely publicised in the country) which turned violent. I did see lots of showrooms which appeared to be open though - no customers in them. Every 2nd car in Korea is a Dawoo, and they seem ok, but who knows what happens once they are more than 3 years old. Everyone in Seoul seemed to drive a big car which was less than 2 years old. Maybe they sell them on to the country folk. Funny you should mention MASH; driving round the country whenever I saw mountains in the background I would try to imagine what it must have been like during the war (and since it is mountainous this was quite often). It must have been awful.

I have had the Father Christmas / child molesting conversation a lot recently, which was precipitated by Nr. 2 Daughter's reaction to St. Nicholas and his 3 (blacked up) helpers when they came to our house last week. She went what can only be described as "ape". Screamed the place down, encouraged her sister to do the same, and shut me (and him, and the helpers) out of the house. No key. Husband at work. Neighbour with spare key ditto. Eventually I talked my way in, Nr. 1 Daughter clung to me, but at least talked to him, sang to him, promised to be good and accepted a gift of sweets with fairly good grace. She was fairly chatting away when it was time for him to go. Nr. 2 Daughter shut herself in the bedroom and howled the whole time he was there. (I must admit, the 3 blacked-up assistants who rattle chains and ring bells are fairly frightening, but Nick is dressed like an old-fashioned Bishop with a big white beard) He asked if he should say "bye" to her, at which her door opened, she roared (which isn't easy when you're 2 and sobbing your heart out) "NO!" and slammed the door shut. And off he went, having left her some sweets too. Now she's just about used to Father Christmas (the sweets helped a lot) but it was traumatic for her. And Mum and I have discussed that we always tell kids: don't talk to strangers; don't let them in the house; don't take sweets from strangers (especially if they're men). And at this time of year they're expected to join in and do all of those things. Something's not quite right here. Although, I always loved the old bearded fella, and I'm sure Nr. 2 will grow to love him in time. We were always told that he came in through the door (he has a magic golden key which can unlock any door or window) This was to avoid us looking up the chimney (when we had one) and exposing ourselves to death that way, or becoming upset and worried (when we didn't have one) that we wouldn't get any presents!

Apparently, here in Germany, the current most popular answer to the "what do you want for christmas?" is "Daddy to come home" that really broke my heart for the poor kids.

We have printed and posted our million (50) Christmas cards. But, in my defence, each one is also a change of address card - plus all our nearest and dearest live in a different country, and have to receive a yearly photographic update of our offspring. Have you decided what to do with the cards you won't use?

How was it with your Princess then? My dad is just the same about me. Drove 500kms once just to help me do something so trivial I've forgotten what it was, now. And then 500kms back again. Fathers and Daughters - the best relationship ever (until you become a mother/father yourself, then it gets relegated to 2nd place). I don't think it's the same for Mothers / Sons, but I'm not really qualified to say.

Ho hum - this turned into a sort of rant. So I'd better let you get on.... and get myself a nice cup of hot liquid-java-type-stuff.

Sho
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Moondancer,

Don't apologise. Now I'm a parent (and I didn't want to be one for 30 years then suddenly: bang, biological clock in overdrive!) I can't stand people who don't give them a chance. (mostly these people give their dogs better living conditions, but I digress)

And now we have Walter's attention, why don't we tell him our great idea (which I just had) which is to give ourselves (as a present) foot massages by our personal Greeks? (heh heh heh)

My daughters are going to burst if they can't turn round all the pictures on their Advent calender RIGHT NOW (their capitals) and the fat beardy guy in the girly red coat doesn't make hasty with the presents! Kids - got to love 'em!

Sho