h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I grew up around a bunch of Mexicans and consequently, have grown up with the need to make marinades that make your insides well up like a lava lamp on speed. The following are just a couple lists of ingredients (which for you UK folks can all be found, but you have to search a little).

For BEEF
1) A good hunk of meet: Preferably one that is tender enough to soak up whatever ye are pouring on top.
2) The Sauce: A good well rounded BBQ sauce is of course a necessity. In the States I like KC Masterpiece - spicy varient. In the UK, I've only tried "Spicey Mehem," which works wonders.
3) The Juice: A mixture of Terriaki Sauce and Werchestershire (SP? on both)
4) The Alcohol - put a wee bit of alcohol (i.e. cheap Tennents Lager or that really nasty Bulgarian wine on your shelf you REALLY don't want to drink, not that nice bottle of McEwan's 90) to help tenderize the meat and add a bit of flavor.
5) The Spices: Go crazy. Not nuts but crazy. Okay, go nuts too. Tobasco sauce, both red and green is a must. Your generic spices like basil and parsely are good as well. UK folks, particularly from the southern lump, tend to put curry in everything, and this is a great time to not quit that habit. Then go to the mexican section of your favorite supermarket. Pick up some nice picante sauce, preferable the good Pace Picante Sauce, or El Paso if that's all they have. Find a good Tex-Mix packet of fajita seasoning, and a fajita marinade sauce from El Paso while you're at it. If you've lost the will to live, find a few freshly picked jalapenos (the once that still have enough acid to literally burn your hands) and squeeze those juices!

For PORK - Either Spare Ribs or Chops
1) See ingredients for above
2) Honey or maple syrup. I haven't a clue why, but these do wonders on pork products.
3) Olive Oil. If you're from Texas, forget this ingredient. If, on the other hand, you like your spare ribs to not be a blackened cinder, the oil adds a wee bit of flame protection.

Now you're going to ask, "I have the ingredients, now WTF am I supposed to do?" If you want a list of measuring cups....sorry, "Homey don't play dat." Go with your gut instincts. Obviously, you want the marinade to completely cover whatever it is that your cooking. Add the sauce, giving a good cover. Then add the Juice, about 3 parts terriaki to 1 part worchestershire. Add this until the BBQ sauce is diluted but not runny. Then add your alcohol - not too much but enough for it to attack that meat. Then add your PORK varient ingredients, being nicely liberal with the olive oil but not enough to dilute the good stuff. Now for the spices. You want a lot of tobasco. A LOT! Then add the other spices to taste. Now toss in that meat and stir it around. Then let it sit in the frige for 24 hours. Grill. Preferably, you want a grill set to cook the meat in 20-30 minutes time (danger with the ribs, they like to immitate an Olympic torch). Flip the meat every 4-5 minutes and add some of that juice that your meat's been soaking in. If you can, add wood chips to your BBQ - yes it increases the risk of cancer in 50 years time, but it really adds to the flavor. Eat.