A Conversation for Handy Tips on Planning a Wedding

Wedding tips

Post 1

Dr. Calculus

This is all prefaced with 'in my humble opinion ....'

) Find a partner, fall in love etc. You know this bit I guess.

) Start a year in advance. No less. If you have just got engaged, and you've got to make it fast for some reason you'll have to make compromises.

) For blokes - get a best man who will be less nervous than you, it's nice if someone can spend the day calming you down rather than vice versa. For blokesses - you will need someone to tell you how great you look and how wonderful the day is going while simultaneously sorting out things, a good organiser I guess. Ask people a long time in advance, that way if they say no you can ask someone else in the fullness of time (i.e when everyone has forgotten) without them feeling second best. Get an equal number of ushers from each family. People love being ushers because they are included in the run of things but have virtually no responsibility.

) If the wedding list thing will pose problems, simply ask for gift vouchers for a nearby department store (e.g John Lewis). They are as good as cash but not as tacky, easy to buy and will be needed if you plan to buy a house and fill it with stuff. It takes the burden off the guests as well.

) Do NOT listen to anyone else's specific ideas, they will only confuse you. If you make all the decisions on your own then if it's a fiasco, then at least it was your fiasco. Anyone with any sense will not try and influence you unduly anyway, that includes parents who (with all due respect) should not interfere either - even if they are paying for the whole thing. We were lucky on this one since both sides were great. Hold on to your own ideas, if someone else forces you to do something and it turns out to be awful then you will hate them.

) Make sure that you know weddings are an industry. Try and avoid things that are clearly overpriced. I know a £10000 wedding dress looks great, but that's the deposit on a house gone on a dress that, after all, is worn once. Avoid all of the bridal magazines showing you stuff that will make you feel as if what you want is cheap or tasteless. If you want to wear red or lime green, do so.

) Get married in the afternoon. It means that people can get there on time and you will be less likely to sleep in.

) How many to invite ? If you've money to burn then invite everyone you can think of. Else, in this order:
o Immediate family
o Close friends
o Extended family (cousins, smaller children)
o Friends
o People you work with
If you want to keep some semblance of control, don't invite over 100 people. In any case, don't invite people you don't like whether they are family, workmates or whatever. They will annoy you and/or spoil things. Don't invite anyone who is a crashing bore when drunk or anyone who is known to get violent when drunk - there is no time like someone else's wedding to make yourself into an arse.

) When you send your invitations out DO NOT PANIC. Everyone will send them back at last minute. Expect 70% yes if you invite family, 80-90% of friends. I have read 40-50% in some of the books - it's horseshit from the days when you invited hundreds of people you didn't know as a social etiquette thing.

) When it comes to venues, there are millions Ensure that it is close to where *you* live, not everyone else. This is because you are the important element in this thing and it should be at your convenience - obviously, the bride has to have things around that she is happy with (hairdresser, makeup stuff etc) and the hire-suits need to be returned afterwards. Try booking a limo from 250 miles away - it isn't easy.

) Get a vicar that you like, the older the better. They have a character all of their own.

) After the service CLAP. It's a great way to finish and it breaks the tension. Go on, everybody wants to (and they do it on 4 Weddings and a Funeral). Your call.

) At the reception, don't have a free bar, it costs a fortune and everyone will get drunk (duh!). Drunk people can be fun but they can be violent, lecherous and nasty. Make the first drink on the house if you like but wine with the meal is nice (and maybe brandy afterwards).

) Live music at the reception can be surprisingly cheap. Discos can be surprisingly expensive and are sometimes too 70's. Some guy bellowing into a mike at full volume and Tina Turner might be you thang, but it isn't mine. Live musicians who gig locally obviously must be decent, local DJs won't necessarily be. Don't forget that a fair proportion of the people you invite will be >50 years of age so drum-n-bass may be a bad choice. We went for cafe-style jazz, people can dance to it, it doesn't hurt the eardrums and most jazz musicians really enjoy themselves when they play (they can do it acoustically as well).

) Seating at the reception can be tricky. It will take you a lot longer than you think. There's no magic formula.

) Food can be tricky, make sure that the recpetion knows in advance who are the nut-allergy and vegetarians. Also tell them people that drink too much and they can give them smaller glasses (only kidding). Ensure that children are seated next to their mothers or have a child only table with a razor-sharp adult there.

) Have an MC to announce things (arrival of bride and groom, speeches etc). Don't buy one in, ask someone with a loud voice and a big smile.

) Leave early. If the reception is in a hotel, an old trick is to get a taxi for about 11pm to pick you up, drive down the road for a bit (say 15 minutes), come back to the hotel, park in the back and let you in the back door. From where, you can nip up to the honeymoon suite or whatever. Thus, after what I guarantee is the most tiring day of your life, you can kick back and relax - or whatever...

) Have a breakfast the next day with the close friends that came - that way you can simultaneously show off and slag everyone who made an arse of themsleves.


Wedding tips

Post 2

Dr. Calculus

Oh, one other thing - if you can afford it, buy a load of disposable cameras and give them out as presents. That way, people can take hundreds of photos and have them developed at their expense, then send the results to you. Smart !


Wedding tips

Post 3

Potholer

Disposable cameras are an excellent idea, but speaking from a friend's recent experience, (especially if you happen to have invited any friends with a closet exhibitionist streak and intimate body piercings), make sure *you* take the cameras for processing. Don't leave it to your parents. smiley - smiley


Wedding tips

Post 4

doreiwolf (why not try A682652?) (Alpha Low Thingite Patron, Defender of Wibble, Pagan Younger and Official Pooper Scooper)

On the point regarding the Wedding 'industry', make sure when looking for flowers, reception etc etc to /not/ mention the word wedding. In many cases the mention of that simple word can add lots and lots to the price you expect to pay.


Wedding tips

Post 5

She Who Gratifies Gravity

I opted for fake. You'd be amazed at the beautful flowers you can find at a craft shop. My fiancee took me in and pointed out the flowers he liked the most, and we bought them. Then, I hve a friend who can do fake, and we are working together to create exactly what I want. My fiancee and I found pictures in wedding magazines and others and cut them out to have something to go by. Then, when the wedding is over, we'll recreate the flowers into beautiful arrangements for the dining room, bathroom, etc.
I also bought lovely, old, grecian-looking urns for the tables that I'll love using around the house. You can also buy plastic, and crackle-finish them to get the same look for pretty cheap.


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