A Conversation for Handy Tips on Planning a Wedding

Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 1

Weatherwax

Write your list in a spiral bound notebook, with each item on a separate page. It can then be passed round family and friends and each one tears out the page of the item they choose to give. Check it periodically in case someone with a twisted mind has written something awful (e.g. marble kitchenware) on a blank page!

I think this is such a good idea I wish I'd thought of it myself.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 2

Adam C-R

Or you could just go to a store and use their "Bride's Book" service (wedding list to anyone else).

...only make sure you register in plenty of time! Surprisingly enough, some shops will not let your friends and family spend money at their store because they don't have the staff or the storage space to look after your list.

We came across this when we decided to go for John Lewis, only to find that they were completely booked up for the day we're getting married. The nice lady on the phone suggested that we could tell everyone to buy us John Lewis gift tokens... and then we called Peter Jones (which is John Lewis but under a different name) and they said they'd be happy to accomodate us!


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 3

Adam C-R

or you could use h2g2 for all those net-savvy grannies and cousins out there smiley - winkeye

e.g. http://www.h2g2.com/A381151


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 4

Ginger The Feisty

Our list is at John Lewis (Cribbs Causeway) and we only just got in! I received the printout today which lists what we have chosen and an gobsmacked at how many things they are discontinuing. Things that are parts of sets! It is really annoying but I am going into the store soon to see if they have any of those things left and we'll buy them ourselves.
Something they should really consider is using bar code readers for you to do your list. It took over 5 hours in total, involved 2 visits and we were totally exhausted!


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 5

Daisy

But aren't wedding lists a bit dodgy? Perhaps it's just my hippy upbringing (!) but everyone I mention wedding lists to reels back in horror as if I'd asked them to come to the wedding in obligatory munchkin outfits handmade out of the finest silk.

I'm about to take to plunge and the only thing we're just about sure of is that most of our friends and family will *refuse* to come if we point them in the direction of a wedding list. Can you suggest any alternatives? I think handing round a spiral bound book is dead innovative but likely to provoke the same response!


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 6

Jim Lynn

We didn't have a wedding list. If people asked, we'd mention the few things we actually needed (I'd had my house for a while, so I had most things anyway) but otherwise we left people to their own devices, and the only duplicated gifts were things like crystal - and since it was different types of crystal, we didn't mind at all.

I think, as a result, we got a lot of interesting presents, as well as some useful ones.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 7

Ginger The Feisty

We haven't published the list or sent out details with the invites. Nobody who attends is expected to buy a present but if people ask we give them a card with the list details on. That way we get some things we need and want from the list, we get some surprises from people who were left to their own devices and no-one is made to feel buying a present is obligatory.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 8

Adam C-R

Pretty much the same here - our list is mainly for relatives who don't know us at all and call up our parents to say "Do they have a list?" We specifically didn't include details with the invites, but we did make a list to avoid getting 7 sets of goblets as at our engagement party! Goblets seem to be the equivalent of the fountain pen at a barmitzvah smiley - winkeye

Neither the wedding nor the engagement are about the gifts that people bring - both are about us and our decision to spend the rest of our lives with each other, making that commitment public and sharing our happiness with our friends and family.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 9

Demon Drawer

You can never have too many drinks glasses. smiley - winkeye


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 10

She Who Gratifies Gravity

We are registering at every registry in town for something on the $5 to whatever range. That way, if they stay short in the pocketbook like me, they can still get us something we'd like.
I don't like the whole idea of "I'm getting married, you owe me a present", but if people want to give me one, I'll make it easy on them.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 11

Siggi

Hi folks,
I'm still looking for a gift for my brother's wedding. For this I've recently been hoping to gather some ideas through my forum about this problem.
So just tell me what your presents have been like.
Dishes, cooking pots, glasses are o.k., but what about something *personal*
Thanks!


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 12

Ginger The Feisty

I once had some friends who got married just after moving into a new house. There was a pergola in the back garden that had nothing growing up it so I bought them two climbing roses called Wedding Day and Honeymoon. They flower every year around the time of their anniversary and they get to appreciate them all over again.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 13

Siggi

Thanx Ginger!
That's a pretty neat idea. Though they haven't their common place to live yet, and it might be a tiny flat in a big city, I'll think of it!

BTW, my other brother, married 8 years ago, for every child (by now 2) they've planted a tree of a fruit in an alphabetical order. They might work a little hard now, to find a c-tree, for we don't have too many in the german language...


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 14

Ginger The Feisty

Cedar, Christmas or Crab apple! What are they in German?


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 15

Siggi

They've planted fruit trees: apple, pear.
So the only plant that might do it is (if spelled french...): casisiss (cranberries?!), (or even curry, chili... but those aren't trees)
Anyway I like their idea a lot.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 16

Aliphil

Debenhams won't let you register until three months before the wedding, which was awkward as we were being improper and sending out list details with the invitations (with a tactful letter saying that the main thing we would like was people being at the wedding!). They also kicked up a fuss when we said we couldn't give them an address for a post-wedding delivery yet (our house goes with my husband's job, and he hadn't yet got one), and threatened to refuse to do our list. They do have barcode scanners though, which made things much easier.


Avoiding duplicate gifts

Post 17

OCUKBluefin

One thing I've not seen mentioned but must be extremely common, is those couples who have lived together for some time prior to getting married, and therefore have their house-hold already set up. Myself and my Fiancee fall into this camp, and as such, we are likely to simply ask people to anonymously put money towards larger gifts we have in mind (ie a wet/dry vacuum cleaner). We won't send out a list, so if anyone phones or asks my parents about Wedding Lists, they will advise them to send cash of whatever amount they wish which my parents will hold on to until after we get back from honeymoon.

I have also heard of people asking for travel vouchers to help pay for the Honeymoon, but frankly I think that's a little messy.


Key: Complain about this post