h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...just stopped by here on the hootoo pub crawl.

I've been looking for somewhere to pitch this tepee

for simply ages.

*unloads poles and stuff from VW bus*

alec.

*alec selects the four heaviest poles, three of them still marked from the last time they were set at the Albion Fair.

Would you like some help setting up your camp?

...yes please evangeline,
i could use some help in hoisting the tripod.
it's been quite a while since i did this, so
bear with me, i may need to check the book.

alec..

*bears with*

What can I do to help?

...just hang on tight to this rope here, and i'll walk

the poles upright...

alec.

*puts on gloves*

*firmly grasps rope*

*holds rope while Alec walks the poles*

...ok evangeline...hold it right there.
*the two back poles are nearly upright, alec takes the door pole,
which is knotted in with the other two, and moves it around to
the east side of the circle...this has the effect of tightening
the lashing knot at the top of the poles and locking them
together. The result is a very stable tripod.*

thanks evangeline, you can let go now.

alec.

*lets go of the rope*

*wanders through, flowers in his hair*

Heeeey Man! Hiya Evangeline! Woooo! great times eh?

Nice teepee you got there...

...it's not up yet plato, that is just the tripod.

now we need to set these other poles in the crotch at the top
with their heavy ends around the circle.

here ...start with this one...

alec.

watch what crotch youut that pole in

hi alec, how are you

need any help with the teepee?

Hi Plato! Nice to meet you.

Hi Galen, missed you Saturday.

hail fellow campers...i really appreciate your helping me put
the tipi up...it's been a long time

*counts the remaining poles*

....ok....fifteen of them...erm hang on, one of these is the
lifting pole....got it.

the first five sit in the north east crotch
the next five sit in the south east crotch
then the last five sit in the west crotch.

*alec has marked a rough circle around the tripod legs.*

evangeline, could you put your foot against this pole here while
i lift it into place...thanks.

alec.

No problem Alec

that was quick!
now we just need to do that
another 14 times and we can
lift the cover on.

alec..

Okay,

Let's get on with it...

*assists alec by bracing poles so he can proceed assembling tipi*

Drat! lost count...how many was that again....

...er ...fourteen

five each in the front two thirds
and four at the back, with a space for the lifting pole.

ok now for the fun bit

*alec drives two crossed stakes into the ground beneath the
apex where the rope is now hanging*

*takes the loose end of the rope, exits the circle where the door
will be, and dances sunwise around the perimeter,
snapping the rope up to the top.*

*this he does four times,then re-enters through the doorway.
pulling tight on the rope, alec ties it down to the anchor*

*sits down for a minute, watching the Lancaster and two
Spitfires circling overhead, in remembrance of Her Majesty
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother*

alec.

*alec pulls the cover out of the old VW bus, and unrolls it
on the ground. this is basically semi-circular in shape,
made of 6-foot and 3-foot strips of heavy canvas.
the radius is 19 feet(6m)*

*alec has forgotten to mark the lifting pole where it will rest
against the other poles, so leans it up there and eyeballs it.
he takes the pole down again, marks it and lays it on top of the canvas cover in the centre.*

*then he takes one corner of the cover, and folds it back to the base
of the lifting pole, then doubles it, and again, and does the same for the other side. Then he ties the top of the cover to the lifting pole at the mark, and ties a couple of bits of string around the cover,holding it to the pole.*

erm... sorry this is taking so long but i really need some help with this bit...this thing is HEAVY!

alec.

sorry to leave you holding it for 12 hours, but i did not notice you

...Here, let me take that from you.

now you go to the other side of the frame. i am handing it over to you...

set it down...

now all you have to do is tie it down!