A Conversation for THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Alternative Writing Workshop: A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 1

lostregrets

Entry: THREE SIMPLE WORDS - A12378990
Author: lostregrets - U3980965

Just a note to express how I feel about someone...I'm not too sure about the last verse so comments would be welcomed...as long as they aren't too nasty =)


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 2

Tom tamer of the lion

wow, I love this, the person who you wrote this for is very lucky. I love the way that you avoid the clechie o comparing your loved one as a flower, but you compare her to a tree which is beautful. Great abosulty great.

Tom


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 3

LL Waz

I like it a great deal. It rings true. And personal. I mean it sounds as if it's about two real people, it's not generalised.

Tom's right, the person you wrote this for is lucky, and perhaps you too.

What bothers you about the last verse?


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 4

lostregrets

I've changed it since I wrote that comment- I never liked the original. Thanks a lot for all your comments smiley - biggrin I'm so glad you liked it!


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 5

miraculousrandomness - being elvised is hard but so is changing your title so I wont

wonderfuly lovely emotianal and moving and......... smiley - erm I dont usally talk like that so It must have liked it


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 6

miraculousrandomness - being elvised is hard but so is changing your title so I wont

But i dont think the title works in capital letters


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 7

U1250369

It's a lovely poem lostregrets. Thankyou for sharing it with us


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 8

miraculousrandomness - being elvised is hard but so is changing your title so I wont

but get rid of the capitals


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 9

Tom tamer of the lion

actually I quite like the captial letters for the title, prehaps its not gramticaly correct, but I think it makes a bold statment that works


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 10

minorvogonpoet

I think the first two verses are excellent: sensual, moving and with the feeling that they are meant. I wasn't sure about the last verse though. We don't know the reason for the self-doubt. Do we get to see the amended version?


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 11

miraculousrandomness - being elvised is hard but so is changing your title so I wont

ok keep themcapitals


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 12

lostregrets

smiley - biggrin hey, thanks everybody for all your lovely comments! you're right, I'm not sure about the last verse either, but am kind of stuck just now- may change it again. but thank you all for being so encouraging. and the reason for the title being in caps, is that was just the way it was saved in my word document...I have a few poems in the same one, so to keep them seperate and to make the titles stand out I have them in caps. but I could change it if you think I should?


A12378990 - THREE SIMPLE WORDS

Post 13

miraculousrandomness - being elvised is hard but so is changing your title so I wont

Your descion


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