h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Alright guys? Nice weather we're havin' ain't it? I'm just down the beach, checking out the babes and stuff
when I came across the possibilites of applying for a job, just wondered Mr.Bluebottle if I could be a deck-chair
stacker/assistant? Cos you don't seem to have one. Then I could walk around the beach all day in my tight
swimming trunks and chat up all the birds, at the same time as doing my job of course. Watcha say? Can I?

Of course, my Fish Killing friend... Just remember to occasionally do some work!
BTW - you can't wear trunks as it is against HRASC Regulations.

Oh right, so I guess I'll just have to go naked then. But don't worry, I'm used to it. Never out of bed me.

Yes, from what I know of you, I can believe that!

wait this is not the pub, it is not my shift how did I end up here?

to much drumroll I guss I think I shall sit here untill those green monkey's playing in the breakers go away.

hahah the cruelty of life... i finally learn what a larch is and youre now going on about green monkeys...

I think the green monkeys might have somthing to do with the two bottles of rum I imbibed last night, unless this beach really ised made out of water, and the sand is breaking on the shore?

Thanks Blue - and no need to be sorry, because I never asked. I was just pointing out how silly it was that it took me this long........

No, you are lucky that you are not in Southend.

Hello there!

I've just popped in (or, rather popped out, I guess) for a quick refreshing swim and noticed that some of all these people coming out of the neighbourhood watering holes tend to leave their beer standing in the sun letting them get lukewarm.

Noe, I just hate to see that. Can I be beer-lifeguard, walking around putting beer bottles/cans/glasses/otherappropriatebeercontainers into small thermo boxes with ice - or mercifully finishing them off as I see fit?

See! There's one!

*rushes over to Gold Tuborg can stuck in a dune, quickly examines it and gulps down it's contents*

Sorry -- no hope for that one...

*grins, hoping to be believed*

Oh! Thank God! Someone to keep my beer cool while I save drowning beauties! Now my life is complete.

Happy to be of service

*takes (quite) a few beers from TechnicolorYawn's hands and pockets, neatly packs them in a cool cooling bag and hands them back*

Skål! Ehh, I meant Cheers!

Okay, one Beer Lifeguard abotu to be enrolled!

hehehe how ingenius...
now where was it that people LIKED their beer warm?

Around here someplace, I'd heard...

oh yes your 'here' is across the sea from me...

Any free posts for "Alligator Control", or do is that a security officer's job?

I'd never thought about aligators before - it's not something that normally happens on British beaches - but we can always make an exception.

Hey, with all of these helicopters flying around, don't you guys need at least one pilot? If you do, I'm it.

Okay - do you want to have any more to your job description than "pilot" - such as the type of pilot, what you wear/drink when you are flying or any other such bit?