h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello there! All happiness and niceness here, no lureing ships onto the rocks, though I can sing. Currently my highest proper singing note is top B, so stand back, I can get an echo from both directions on a ground that looks flat almost to the horizon. I also can fly (it's the having the body of a bird. Very useful) but I don't go in for this seduction stuff.

too bad, the seductions are the best part of being female!!!

When will you heroes learn goodness never pays...

yes, and look at all the cool gadgets us villians get! come, join the dark side... your name shows your evil intentions already!

Just for continuity, please ignore above. That who-is-not-to-be-named-by-me must have gone crazy due to this "sailing"-thing she has... Anyway,

haha! take THAT!

OK, fine, so you can put your theory into action. You've got your "damsel in destress", but I'm not happy about it. However, I guess that after all those fish, I'm kinda stuck. Help! Help, won't somebody save me? (Oh, how I hate this part)

Actually, you seem to have done a remakably good job. However, if you don't free one of us, we're all going to be stuck like this and you'll just get bored. So, if you let me go and I go and free the others, then you'll be able to have some more fun. As for me joining your side, that would make the odds even more uneven. And anyway, I'm just not a naturally evil person. I don't know what you've heard about those other sirens, but they are just the ones that get heard about. Evil is notorious, don't you know.

I've been remiss in my superhero duties. But there was a Gilligan's Island marathon on, you understand. Anyway, let's give this a go:

And here's one more:

And one to grow on:

darn you, tomthedog!
well, fishes again!

and again!

And another hero(ine) bites the dust!

Dramatic entrance, heroic pose, booming voice:
NOT SO FAST, EVIL-DOERS!!

Yes so Fast Evil-Doers, quickly now!

Faster than you think, dog!

I would be offended if I weren't actually a dog.

i'm trying to do this so i don't get my super battles mixed up... you can thank me later...

*mutters* darn dog keeps screwing up our plans... *vanishes in a puff of orange smoke*

Twice fished

and now thrice...hehe