h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Filthy public toilets without any paper left, and you realise too late.

Filthy public toilets without any soap left, and you realise too late.

Filthy public toilets with no ring, and you just have to go anyway.

Combinations of the above.

In addition, filthy public toilets with no bolt on the door.......

That's right! So:

Filthy public toilets with no paper left, and you realise too late.

Filthy public toilets with no soap left, and you realise too late.

Filthy public toilets with no ring, and you've got to go anyway.

Unlockable filthy public toilets, and still you just have to go.

Combinations of the above.

That's why I don't use public toilets.

I go into the nearest pub instead. The toilets are (usually!) better - and I can have a swift half at the same time!!!
'G'

Right. But when I say "public" toilet I think of every toilet not located in a private home. And I've seen some rather grotty pub toilets during my stay on this planet.

On the other end of the spectrum there's the filthy user of private toilets, for instance the person who comes to visit and can't be bothered to flush after him, or leaves piss sloshing about on the floor.

I gather you are referring to the 'Lincoln Logs' that are to be found occasionally!!!!!

Then we have the loo roll issues. Does one roll the paper off from the front or the backside?

Personally, I use it on the backside!!
'G'

Oh but that's wrong, Gandalf. Horribly, terribly wrong!

Roll it off the back side, use it on the backside!!
What's wrong with that??
'G'

It's not easy to explain, it's just one of those things that
you instinctively understand, I guess, unless you roll it off
the back, in which case you obviously don't.

Another thing that bugs me is when people finish a roll and can't be bothered to put up a new one.

And you have just got in in time, bursting, trolleys round ankles....oops, naked roll!!!!!!!

Excactly! That's when, if there is also a shower in the room, you actually have to take a shower after you've done your bit, because, let's face it, the alternatives are not very attractive. If there's no shower you are literally up s**t creek.

I personally in the past have been known to sacrifice a handkercheif to save embarrassment!
'G'

O thats just nasty /squims in horror/

Im suprised somebody hasnt denounced the entire male species in this thread yet, we generally get put down over it.

I hate toilets with showers in the same block where the water from the showers has left a puddle right round the toilet.

I hate it even more when slobby members of my gender have left poodles of p**s round the toilet. I have sometimes had to clean up after them when there were ladies waiting to go after me. They would have thought I was the culprit, wouldn't they.

Oops that shouldn't be poodle though. Finding a dog round the toilet is something I haven't experienced yet. Must have been thinking of a pool, I suppose. Sorry.