h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*You walk into a large, spacious room gleaming with control panels and lights, with a number of rooms leading off towards ship docking ports. At the main terminal is a huge 3-D radar hologram, more controls than you can make sense--and a man asleep behind the desk while a large red light blinks urgently at him, with small sign on the desk labeled AJDECON-SpacePort Control Officer. A.J. wakes up with a start, punches a huge red button, swears and hits a green one. He notices you, blinks and says:*

Welcome to h2g2 Spaceport Control! May I help you?

Hey, great to see you've already settled in! Keep up the good work!

*Wanders up*
There's a being by the name of alien loveshade requesting to land. Sort it out will you?
*Walks away, as if this job is too petty and simple for a Secuirty Officer, but in fact it's just his massive ego taking control again.*

Hey AJ, could you help me with a little thing. I need a ship, one good one. A cargo ship would be perfered so I can hal my demo equipment and of corse the number of a good junk yard. Thanks

*A Mysterious Figure slips a small flashing device somewhere where it won't be seen, then quickly vanishes.*

Yowuzupman--

Sorry it took so long, I've been on vacation in the Third Galactic Arm (or the U.P. of Michigan, whichever is closer.) Sorry, can't help w/ ships; try the Spaceship Rental Area; linked off the H2G2 Space Center, I think.

hey, as long as you were out-to-lunch! Peace bro, thanx for the help

As the security guard sleeps, a silent black shape detaches itself from the vent shaft in the cieling. Without a sound, it lowers itself to the floor. Smooth, grey-blue skin...slavering, tooth filled jaws...razor tipped tail...this, my friend, is a Xenomorph. Except this one is wearing a suit. And Oakleys. It rings the bell.
The security guard wakes up, and confronted with the sight before him, promptly falls off his chair.
"I have...commissioned a USCM military dropship" hisses the Xenomorph. "I have requested a hangar. Pleassse tell me if there iss anything I should know on how to combine one with the other. And if ships work in any essspecial way in h2g2." Giguschild reaches out a beclawed hand to help the security guard back onto his chair.