h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Employment Agency is -OPEN-

I am setting up my Mansion, Shop and Kareoke. Anyone want a job? And I'm always redy for a good quest! Not dragon slaying. BluDragon would KILL me. If she knew how many that have tried to kill me, though...

I'd just like to recruit some cannon fodder if I may? And then write and tell their tearful Mums... Well, someone has to.

**just passing through the all-new corridors**

Oh Geez, I'm lost again! I guess this will theach me to read to the end of the tread before I post there hugh.

I'll help fix up that pesky hole in the wall. That's what I'm here for. I'll just have to get some tools out of storage. I'll be around in a flash.

Cow, you'll do. I'll pay you one punch per minute not... er, I mean, one pound a minute. Ahahahahah. Subject to change, what I say/do/am is always not nescesarily true, your home is under threat.
...If you do not keep up pay of your mortgage. Hahahahahaha.

?

Moose, we must have just missed each other. I was probably lost in the ventilation system by the time you got there.

Could I suggest that you put up "you are here" signs in there, and mabie some exit signs?

Just a thought.

*suddenly has a ~brainwave~*

Hey, can I put my friend Zem42 in for a job? he could be (wait for it) Towel Awareness Officer!!!!!

I'll dicuss with him what the job actually entails IRL before he gets his butt up here and applies in person.

So what does a TAO do?

* Falls through the ceiling, as is his wont

Hi!

* Dusts down toga.

Um, I need a steady job, I've only just arrived in this era, but I specialise in cutting edge technologies of 7th Century B.C. Anything going at all?

* looks appealingly around

Hmm... I wonder what someone who hasn't been around for the last 28 centuries could do? Pity it isn't a greek, they were far more clever. The Romans tended to just smash and grab, at least the greeks were a bit more cultured.

* Scowls, grips spear tightly, then remembers what he's here for, and maintains aloof silence.

We have very good technology! We built the aqueducts, didn't we?

I need something witty to say as a retort, but this'll have to do.

Is there an opening for a Resident Astroengineering Specialist around here?

*looks at jacculus, then at the other staff*

Aw, give him a job!

This decision of mine is not at all biased by the fact that jacculus is one the nicest people I know.

Jobs, jobs who wants jobs??? I'm back here now...
Okay, let's check out the list...

- Zem42 who hasn't yet appeared wants to be the Towel Awareness Officer...

- Jacculus wants to have any job...

- And Krans Hopeson wants to be the Resident Astroengineering Specialist...

Is that all? Did I miss anyone?? Okay, Krans Hopeson is hired... And Zem42 will be as soon as he arrives... I guess we shouldn't hire people not present...

But Jacculus, you are a problem... Sorry, no affense... But what I mean is that as I've said before I am terrible in inventing titles or positions and have no idea who we need... "Don't ask me, I'm just the Boss here"... But I'd say we need getafix, our recently hired title-developer... Or anyone else willing to help him... Hello, where are you???

Hello, yes?
Are their any openings for an out-of-work Spaceport Control Officer?

Hmm. *scratches head* I appreciate your problem.

I don't suppose you need anyone running through, stabbing, hacking to death, or impaling, do you?

* brandishes spear hopefully *