h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A woman stood by the churchyard wall
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
The woman she was gaunt and tall
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
A corpse was being carried in
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
The corpse was very pale and thin
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
The worms crawled in and the worms crawled out
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
In at the nose and out of the snout
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
The woman to the corpse said:
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
"Shall I be like that when I am dead?"
Ooh__________ Ahh__________
The corpse answered with a groan:
SHRIEK!!!

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
dirty little pigeon's feet
All mixed up with a pile of poison possum pus
and me without my spoon
And me without my spoon
and me without spoon
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
and me without my spoon
We'll use a straw!

*after Pandora blows lunch...she appluads!!! and begins to sing...*
Popeye, the sailor man...lives in a garbage can. He eats all the worms and spits out the germs, 'cuase he's Popeye the salior man! Toot-Toot!

Here's one my mamma use to sing me: Oh my darling Nellie Grey, you are shaped like a bail of hay, and your belly nearly touches your double chin...I'll be liven' by the river, if you ever come my way-----------
oh my darlin' wont' you please drop in! (The river that is!!!).

Here's one my roomie's never heard, although it use to be on the radio
...I don't want a pickle, just want ta' ride on my motorcicle...and I don't want ta' die...just wanna' ride on my motor cy.............cle!
*Pan remembers when times were fun...Geez...haven't had THIS much fun
since at least...Mmmmmmmmm...yesterday!*

We use to skip rope to the one you just sang...and one other too!!!
My, you do have a lovely singing voice! Good tempo too!!!

*Kitty bounces up from the carpet and over to the fish tank and sits and stares*

*and stares*

_____

Kitty! I didn't know you were here!!! Let me put the dog away. Now come on in...mind the new born kitties...and if you keep your paws out of the fish tank, you may have another hat! Let me give you a BIG hug!
Oh Kitty...I just adore you!!! And I can 'almost' understand everything you say!!! Maybe I was a sort of lion in a past life? Could be why we get along so well! Would you like to go for a romp in the woods? The river's running high. We could have some fun splashing around!!!

*Kitty peeks at the new born kitty and gets a soppy look on his face*

Kitty, you know you'll ALWAYS & FOREVER be my favotie Kitty!!!
Look how tiny these babies are! Lets go through the garage (after I move the car out) so you can see all 25 cats! Twevle newborn! You know
with the food bill so high to feed all these, we should have brought some of your uneaten elk back! By the way...I've tacked up that huge elk rack on the tree by the river bank. You'll have a nice view while you scratch you back there. But I still insist on brushing you!

*Kitty offers to hunt large beasts for the other cats, though he doesn't see why the adults can't capably feed themselves, except for cake, he can understand why cats can't bake cake themselves*

Thank you Kitty. I guess the cats are just spoiled lazy! You should come by & see the four born today!!! that makes for 29! They cats did get a nasty nest of starlings out of the rafters in the garage! And they were nice enough to bring me a snake!!! The first I've seen here since I bought the place in early 1994! And I count on the cats to chase them away! Oh Kitty, why couldn't they be more like you?!?
I tried to bake them a cake...but even the fox & skunks, (even my dog
) won't eat my baking!!! I wonder if Ændr could give me a tip or two! I'm hopeless! I made oatmeal cookies that ONLY the dog would eat!

*kitty thinks that Ændr wouldn't do very well giving tips over the net as it is not really very good for seeing consistencies...
*kitty agrees that pandora's cats need to re-read their job descriptions, but only slightly

*kitty is off to Norfolk for the weekend to terrorise the country bumpkins... no really to visit friends in Lowestoft and fish a bit

*kitty hopes Pandora has a good weekend with the new guide*

Hope you have a wonderful week-end. I'm so sunburned I don't know how I'll sleep tonight! Finally got 90% weather & cleaned the pool...
tomarrow night it will be hot enough to skinny dip! WEEEEEE!!!
I'm VERY proud of my cat 'Monday' she caught a bird, & brought it to her babes & between them all, they dined on frog, two heads were all that remained. Guess you shamed them into it

*kitty is glad that the kitten's mother knows how to train them up properly*

Yes, but Pandora must find homes for many kitties...& she can't pick which to remove 30 are just about 25 too many...
Hope Kitty had fun!
Here's another song I remembered for you:*Pan clears her throat & sings:I knew an old lady who swollowed a spider. How will it ever live way down inside her? She swollowed th spider to eat the fly-how did the fly get in her & why?!? ...wonder if the old lady will die?*

*Kitty sang that one at school*

Hmmmmmmm...maybe I was you in another life? Actually that song came to me in a dream. It must have been well hidden in my brain! Hope it brought back good memories

*Kitty remembers all the kids singing it woefully out of tune*
*kitty covers his ears with his paws at the memory*

There, there Kitty...Pandy has a lovely voice. *even if she does have to sat so herself*