h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Note to self: Do not taunt a seagull flying against a 50 MPH wind gust, looking like some fat 300 pound bloke trying to ride a unicycle on a treadmill. The seagull will get...angry.

Note to self: Remove seagull beak from back of skull when you have time

The way i see it all seagulls, especially the ones in Aberdeen are flying vermins that should be shot. This may not contribute in calming the seagull at the back of your head, but i have been told that it is a free country, and everybody...look at all those gulls....can state their opinion....wooow, that one was a bit close.....on any matter they might....AAAUUUVVV.....find important....aaaaargh, run away, run away!

Spot on, but I wasn't allowed to bring my gun, even the air rifle was a no no Next time sod it, I am bringing it down - the seagulls have started nesting again on the roof of the houses opposite - so yet again no sleep with their constant schreeching until 3AM and restarting at 5AM. Oh and the new arrivals have started ripping open the bin bags again. Sorry this is another of my pet rants, I will stop now (but keep looking in th P&J for a man being picked up with a rifle and several herring gull carcasses
BCNU - Crescent

Will keep an eye out, an also start a support demonstration, should you be arrested. We'll throw dead sea-gulls at the police till they give in

Hee Cheers Here is to the death of the bin bag rippers (the worst of the worst in seagull society Oh, time to go home - woohoo - weekend here we come
BCNU - Crescent

I caught a rather roundish middle aged man carving up a loaf of bread and tossing it on the ground today - obvious sea gull fodder. If it weren't for the fact I was running 20 minutes lated, I'd have exorcised him for consulting with and attempting to feed the winged tools of the devil!

There are a couple of these Servants of Satan, who feed these vermin, that I know of. They are both elderly, tho' I reckon this is a ruse to put us off from going over to have 'words' with them. There is the old lady who feeds them beneath the billboards at the bus station on Guild Street (tho' her particular customers seem to be mainly pigeons - the definate lesser devils ) and there is an old man who feeds them in the cobbled carpark off the end of the Castlegate - just as we walked by (and my g/f doesn't like birds flying at her We need to do something, but what....I shall give it some thought.....
BCNU - Crescent

I think the most proper punishment for such vile actions would be to roll the above mentioned persons in milk and breadcrumb, to let them become a birds-feast themselves. It is a bit contrdictory to be feeding the birds this way, but i think it will be advantageous in the long run.
Alternatively, we can start feeding them ourselves.... with bullets