h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, since Tim's gone, we should start a new forum without him.

So what was going on?

Um, I lost track.

So let's have some new scenery.

* Waves little finger in interesting manner.

[The scenery of the Zambezi river appears around them. A herd of giraffes lollops past]

This do?

I speck.

If you add &latest=1 to the end of a forum URL it will jump you straight to the most recent posts. This will be added properly in an upgrade which will appear in the next couple of weeks.

Thought you should know that.

* looks at the scenery *

I don't really like this. It's too hot.

* waves hand. Scenery blurs and changes to a rather attractive glacier on Hoth *

Much better!

* pulls on a thick, fake fur lined coat *

* Re-aligns holographic particles of MaW's coat. All the fur turns into pythons. *

Heehee

Whoopsie.

[suddenly, a Wampa comes up behind them and explodes]

Whew! Smells worse then a tauntaun's interior!

You think that smells bad? Take a whiff of this!

* squirts a tiny amount from a small spray bottle which has a big biohazard sticker on it *

This is concentrated extract of the worst-smelling parts of the twenty thousand worst-smelling beings in the universe, processed and purified deep in the caves of Vogsphere, where there was never anything better to do. It sells very well as a personal defence product, as it's at least a million times more effective than pepper spray.

* starts to choke *

* sticks head in bucket of sand *

I hope it can't percolate this sand...

Fortunately, there are Jedi techniques that help purify the air going into one's nose ... [faints]

* Eyes bulge out, head turns green, legs turn red.

Hey, this is one strange substance...

I... [choke] told you... it was [choke] effective [wheeze]

* faints *

[YK found himself arguing with a monkey about a script for Hamlet. The monkey showed him a photograph of it and 99 other monkeys banging out stuff on laptop computers.]

[remains totally out of it]

We've got nice scenery now ... Hoth is fading out ... my legs drifting off into the sunset ... MaW is turning into a penguin ... oh ... oh, hello, Obi-Wan ... What're you doing here? ... Fine, thanks, and you? ... Ah ... Oh dear ... MaW, do you see the Triforce?

No... hallucination is a known side effect of the spray... [choke]
...you must perform Jedi technique [choke] for detoxifying [choke] poisons... [wheeze] then spray a generous amount... from the [cough] green bottle in my bag... antidote... [wheeze] can't seem to get my hand working... right at the moment [choke].

* faints again *

[Stretches in and out simultaniously with the Force.]

There. I'm all better now.

But I /still/ see the Triforce. [he points at a sign which says on one side "Didn't we just leave this party?" and on the other side says, "Here we go again." The Triforce is on one of the edges.] Right here.

* Mutters a few words and waves hand. Shrinks into the shape of a bottle of antidote, which begins spraying energetically. *

Hey, I'm all bet--[cough] ... almost all better.

* Vanishes altogether *

Oh dear.