h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, if they have Everything then they still need Life and the Universe.

But I agree with the very serious suggestion that you make them something. Doesn't matter how good or bad it is, the point is you've taken the time to do it and it is unique so they can't already have it.

Which means they didn't have Everything after all. But then, of course, nobody does, that would be ridiculous. If you had everything then you'd have Microsoft, Jeffrey Archer, the Loch Ness Monster, etc., and clearly no one person is in possession of just these three randomly chosen (and quite unconnected) things. (Though I understand Mr Gates is considering making an offer for Mr Archer).

something that really no one uses anymore-quilting supplies,a butter mold,a drop spindle unless of course they're in SCA or some such in which case they probably are missing some of the modern conveniences such as a self protective streak that allows you not to want to swordfight. then you could always give the exceptions some eycalyptus ointment (funny, I know how to make it but I'm not sure how to spell it).all of this failing a pregnancy bust in chocalate will do quite nicely

I think the traditional answer is actually.....penecillin. But then if you already had everything you would presumably already have penecillin so the question becomes pointless.

What should the person who has everything get?
Why - burgled.
That way you can then enjoy giving him/her everything again with full confidence of knowing that he/she has no longer got it.

Alternatively, you could give them good insurance.

If there was a person who had everything, I would call them "God," shave my head and become a monk, build churches and cathedrals in their name, and dedicate my life to the worship of them.

If I can't think of anything, I usually just get someone a book.

Could I suggest a comprehensive insurance policy...?

If they already have everything, get them another one (fill in the blank), and then say you didn't know they had one already. Alternatively, what about all those things you see in stores that say "one of a kind"? Logically, they can't have one because it's obviously in the store waiting to be bought, and there's only one of them.

I recommend taking a cue from that old "Seinfeld" episode and making up a card for a fake charity fund which you can then claim to have donated a large sum of money to in that person's name. Fun AND cheap!!!

I think all you people are missing the point. I believe the when H2G2 asked for our help, they were trying to get, dare I say it and lose any iota of respect as an oddling that any of you ever would have had for me, a straight answer. Once more I must suggest a voice recognition-powered attack robot. I ordered one for $90 from Damark for someone. And heck, if by some bizzare twist of fate they already own one, or even more, then it adds dramatically to the level of fun if they can pit them against one another! So there you have it; my very best answer.

It doesn't matter what it is, it's the thought that counts, right? Then why not go the elementary school way and make a little paste-and-macaroni-noodle portrait of them on construction paper? (I think the mothers here at h2g2 would appreciate this most)

To be serious, though, chocolate is never in too great a quantity.

Or me.
Yeah, I think I could use a George Harrison telephone. And speaking completely off the subject to those musically inclined... isn't it terribly difficult to find Yes merchandise anywhere?

I bought the people I thought had everything a voucher for dinner at a nice restaurant!

I'd make a song for the person with the help of my trusty guitar, Rando

How about an extra vital organ? A third arm? Bullet wounds? Or do those count as everything?

I know I don't have any of those interesting items...but then again I don't have everything, so I'll just stick to a hand held battery operated I Ching/Calculator.

I would like to attempt to close this question once and for all (although I am convinced that I will fail - nevermind).
We have already established that this being cannot possibly exist because it is not possible to own eveything because there are some things which are completely unique (such as this rather attractive santa hat I am wearing on this fine Christmas eve - whoever it is may have a hat like it but cannot own this one because I am wearing it (as has already been stated by numerous persons)).
But assuming this person does exist then it really doesn't matter what you give them because they already have it (regardless of whether it is unique or if you have paid for it etc. etc. they HAVE to own it because they own EVERYTHING. Everything that could possibly exist and even all the stuff that doesn't.
It does not matter what you give them because they already HAVE it.
They own everything...
EVERYTHING!
Q.E.D
Sic Probo.
Thankyouverymuch.
I shall take an absance of supplies to imply that evryone involved in this debate agrees with me (unless they are replies of agreement)

Just get them another one and say you didn't think they had one already. Works for me.

I named my guitar Finn MacCool after that hero in Celtic mythology.

I named mine, of course, after the Amazing Rando... i don't think he's Celtic

Okay, as far as this forum goes, it's over, okay? If you haven't already bought him/her something, you're furked! Look at a calender! Mwahahaha!