h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi! Let me know what you think, about my article, about my writing style, or just about the weather!

~Lord Fred

Also, if you want to become a member of the Royal Order of Insanity, leave me something creative here . . .

More specifically . . . leave me the last crazy thing you did, or the most crazy thing you have ever done!

Hi Fred,
Please accept my humble request for membership in the the Royal Order of Insanity.
The last crazy thing I did (next to this) was pose as a hip rap poet in the poet's corner of the Aroma coffee shop.
The last crazy thing I did before that was go to work this morning.
The most crazy thing I have ever done is to try to argue with a policeman after getting thrown out of the 700 club for distributing free POPE cards.

Oh wow ... dreymers, Im exited ... you are about to become the first *new* member of the Royal Order of Insanity for a good 4 years now.

Over the Christmas break, I am going to scan in the 1st and 3rd Thneeds (the second was lost to the Dark Side) so you (and hopefully others) can catch up on what the Order Was -- In the meantime, I will add daily to the intro of the Cyberthneed ...

okay ... to buisness.

Would you like to create your own name, or let me create it using the tried and true method of looking around and writing down what I see at random.

You already have a title, it is 'First Son/Daughter of the Cyberorder, Second Amoung the Unchosen, and Keeper of the High Slug Bottoms of Zog"

Hey I like your page . . .

I like your art, can you design a graphic of the Frood for the Order?

(The Frood is the symbol of the order, it is a stylized symbol of a person with an arrow through their head)


OOOOOO
O O
<---O O---<<
O O
O O
O O

This is a close approximation.

Lord Fred,
Thanks ! I feel priv'lijd. As my first act in the order, I'd like to make a speech:

FARBLE GARBLE WARBLE !

(hey, neat!)
Go on ahead and pick a name for me (a really cool one, like you have), and i'll see what i can do about the frood.
(since I've nowhere to keep slug bottoms, I don't feel worthy of this last title...can I keep words that aren't in the dictionary instead ?)

- dreymers

I want to join - I think that a lot of the things I've written on H2G2 show how crazy I am, but if that is not sufficent, I'll tell you a little story about it.

The purple carrots are attacking! They're attacking I tell you!

*grabs Beeblefish and makes him look out the window and up at the fast-approaching stars*

Look! Do you believe me now? They're going to kill us all.... aaaaarrrrrgghhhh.... um.... quite.

I hate it when I turn sane. It interrupts my consternation.

I would like to join the Society. I think. Actually, I can't remember whether I do or not but now I've started I may as well finish.

The last crazy thing I did was turn into a toaster from Tibet. I'm only just starting to get over it now.

*gets carted off to help wind up Big Ben*

OKay Im back (after a two hour bus ride)

First things first, Psyduck has created a listing for guide members with ICQ, if you have ICQ -- go there. If not why not! Follow the link from my page and get it!

Secondly .. the frood doesnt look anything like that, (last time I try to do ascii art in a text window that resizes.

Thirdly drey, I annoint thee

*Lord Fred takes his time, its been a while since he has done this...*

Fiesta Lampe Solaire Hubcap-Clock Kabboom! Diego Noot Noot Driftwood Eclair. "First of the Cyberorder, Second of the Unchosen, and Keeper of the Words Not if The Dictionary, and *Not* of the High Slug Bottoms of Zog"

I am about to create a listing of Royal Order of Insanity Members, and I will have you in there in a moment with a link to your page.

As soon as I do that (and hopefully find dinner) I will anoint the other two of you. I ask you the same question, do you want to choose a name, or have it chosen for you?

~Lord Fred

Ack! The purple carrots are attacking me!!!

Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Immmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Wouldmmmmmmmmmm...
Likemmmmmmmmmmm...
Tommmmmmmmmmmmm...
Joinmmmmmmmmmmm...
The latest crazzzzzzzzzzzy thing I did was to... Yummmmmmmmmmmmm... look up the Danish State Television board on the Internet.
Before that it was... Yummmmmmmmmmmmm... promising to clean selected parts of my home today. (This was a promise to my boyfriend who is currently in school teaching lousy kids lousy stuff when he would so much prefer to be at home, asleep, eating or in one or more of several other ways enjoy himself. Hey, I think he is eligible for this club! He is even crazy enough (or gullible) to believe that I will rearrange some indoor dust today!!!)
Before that I... Yummmmmmmmmmmmm... decided not to shower before my coffee was ready. But I strongly deny that to be a crazy act!
Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Before that I learned how to copy-and-paste, which is, in fact, an annoying habit!
Yummmmmmmmmmmmm...
Is a medical journal required, or is my word enough?

Hey Cat, what is so yummmmmmmmmmmy ? You got any more ?
(and how long before your boyfriend gets back ?)

<-- stands on head and claps feet together -->

YummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmI.
Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmsee.

That you did learn to copy and paste didnt you . . .

I herby rename thee OptiPlex Meringue Triple Lizard Chartruse Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Num-Num Tarum.
and do apoint thee "Royal Rearanger of Dust, and Other Small Items"

Welcome to the Royal Order of Insanity Penguin. I do decree, that from now on, to preserve the general tone of silliness in this forum the following Suggestments

(A suggestment, btw, is like a commandment, but far mellower .. do it or dont, but if you dont you will be stoned to death by stale donuts from the Aroma cafe O O O O O so watch it).



1. If anyone uses puns they well be screamed at (unless the are good one, in which case they will be screamed at louder.

2. If anyone digresses they will be screamed at.

3. If anyone is stressed they will scream, and everyone else will join in (Type it, but do it too for real, its quite liberating)

4. All pluralisations from *this* point on will abandon the boring "s" ending and adopt the hipper bolder "en" ending of yor.

So endeth the Sugestmenten


And dont worry guyen, I havent forgotten you, you are invested and will have namen in a sec, Im just a bit slow.

~ Lord Fred (Out to Brekfast, Lunch, Dinner, Tea and Supper)

Okay I have finished the member's column, its at http://www.h2g2.com/A228269 everyone go there and tell a silly joke!
Blu and roast; if I dont hear anything from you before I get home I will make up namen for you kay?

~Lord Fred

The purple carrots have invaded Big Ben and rearranged the space time continuum. Simply put, this means that you will have to think of a name for me, as I cannot at the moment.

Oh dear. My name is askdhsdjkfhweriherhrsgfg

Frood attempt #1 has been accomplished.
please provide teleport location address...

Okay Bluebottle!

I hereby dub thee

Askdhsdjkfhweriherhrsgfg
"The Unpronouncable One"

And Roasty you will be known from now on as:

Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Baked Bean Bonanza
"The One Who is Forever Questing for Fred"

Have I explained the the Royal Order's notion of Questing yet?

If at first you dont succeed, try try again.

If you don't succeed then, try try again.

If you still dont succeed, then its a quest -- and you keep on going until you succeed. If its fun of course.

An example. Once some Order memberen were trying to find some Bailey's Irish Cream Haagendas Ice Cream, it had just come out and we wanted some. So we tried at one store - nope. We tried another - nope. Still another - Nope. Then it became a quest. We piled into a car and drove 250 km to another city and we finally found it AND HAD A F**CKING BLAST! One suggestment of the Order is to have a Quest at least once a week. Its good for what ails ya!!

~Lord Fred the Wanderer

I'll try to do as the Lord Phred is bidding us too. I'll see if I can think of some questen to perform soon.
Will question for Christmas presenten be counted as a decent quest? Or is this too much of a 'must' to be taken in?
And just to make sure, it was I, the infamous KimotoCat, who was henceforth to be known as OptiPlex Meringue Triple Lizard Chartruse Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Num-Num Tarum, the "Royal Rearanger of Dust, and Other Small Items"?
If so - why thank you!
If not - why?

Nu er mit sengelinned kommet til vask!

That was thrillingly foreign! What does it mean?

It is indeedy-deed you who has earned that name and title! If you have any doubten -- visit the memberen page, Which i decorated special for all mt new friendlien! You can get there from my main page, which I have just redone too! So go see, and see the Frood that dreymers made for us, it rocken, and it was done in crayon!

~Lord Fred