h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think we really should complain about this somewhere.
Unfortunately I'm not quite sure where...
If I go to the local state-department, they request me to fill out this form. (Touching the paper? Right!) And when I try to describe the problem orally, they want a bloodsample...
Honestly, how obvious can they allow themselves to be?

But I did find one bloke who was willing to listen to me. A mighty fine fella, who told me that he would get to work on it right away. I think he said something about notifying his staff about a possible leak. (Would that be of the bowels?) He worked for this international company, Eschelon or something, so I think they are big enough to do something about it...