h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

British - Will be stuffy and humourless (e.g. Geoffrey in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), or will be chirpy and have some appalling accent that's supposed to be 'cockney' (e.g. the magnificent Dick van Dyke).

French - Unbelievably smooth, well groomed and with an encyclopaedic knowledge of all wine vintages ever.

Scots - Brave and stalwart (Braveheart) or aggressive drunks (any character from Rab C. Nesbitt).

Irish - Lovable drunks.

American - Gung-ho and liable to save the entire world at the drop of a hat (insert Bruce Willis or Harrison Ford role here according to taste).

Latin American - Sweaty, unshaven revolutionary.

Australians - will be laconic, irreverant, ocker characters who invariably speak with a kind of Cockney-ised accent that the film industry thinks is Australian. Are highly likely to be advanced alcoholics who speak in tongues ("G'day, Blue, can I bot some oscar from ya mate? Me car's on the blink and I need someone to take a Captain Cook at it.")

The 'Cockney' accent and the 'Australian' accent seem to be interchangeable as far as film makers are concerned.

Surely with all the money that's floating around the film industry these days, they could afford to employ somone who can say whether they're getting it right about accents, scenery etc. Case in point: the puzzling appearance of a raccoon (sp?) and a skunk in the live action version of 101 Dalmations. We DON'T HAVE THOSE HERE!!!