A Conversation for Wheelchairs
Things they don't want you to know
KimotoCat Started conversation Nov 19, 1999
As a regular wheelchair user, my boyfriend can confirm the existence of your categories.
A fourth category exists however:
The test-model. That is, new types of wheelchairs praised by unscrupulous sales agents. These usually have all the traits of the hospital wheelchair, except for the fact that they are constructed to collapse when you ride it at speeds in excess of 15 miles per hour.
My favorite wheelchair...
juniorganymede Posted Nov 20, 1999
As was so deftly defined by the researcher who kicked off this conversation, a wheelchair, is undoubtedly, a chair with wheels. As I chewed on this thought-provoking piece of information, it dawned on me that I am, at this very point in time, sitting on one such.
It is, at first glance, definitely a chair of some sort. However, if I bend down further, I notice a grooved cylindrical stem beginning from the underside of the cushion on which I'm so restfully seated, which then attaches itself to what looks like a black, underfed starfish, having startlingly sleek arms. And a keen eye would not have failed to observe five small wheels curiously mounted at the tip of each arm...
I put it to you that this must surely be the most advanced wheelchair of our times.
It's 'ergonomically' designed, or so they tell us, cause my lower back has some pretty caustic things to say on the subject.
It's perfect if you want to turn around with oh-so-much-cool when your boss decides to drop by and ask you a stupid question or if you want to drop in on the fellow next cube to ask a devastatingly brilliant one...
And, if you're bored, you can just swivel around in your cubicle when no one's watching...which can be quite exhilarating, as long as you know how to stop the damn thing without spraining your ankle, and whether your doctor mentioned something about blood pressure in that medical report you so cleverly used as toilet paper during an emergency.
I'm beginning to have visions of the day when everyone around the office commutes from one cubicle to the other riding these delightfully designed wheelchairs...
My favorite wheelchair...
Lupa Mirabilis, Serious Inquisitor Posted Nov 21, 1999
I love riding around on office chairs. Always have.
My favorite wheelCOUCH...
Kiz Posted Nov 21, 1999
Office chairs are cool, but have any of you considered wheelcouches? I have a couch here that has a wheel at each corner, which I think could be considered, in the most technical sense, to be a wheelcouch, but it is much too heavy to move without help and is too bulky to use in an office situation. Anybody else out there have one of these interestingly useless devices?
My favorite wheelCOUCH...
Lupa Mirabilis, Serious Inquisitor Posted Nov 21, 1999
Yes, but it has one use; you can move it aside to retrieve stuff the cat has batted underneath.
The improved wheelCOUCH
MaW Posted Nov 21, 1999
Well obviously the next step is to have an electric wheelcouch which you can take out to the shops. Might have a bit of trouble fitting into the fine bone china section of your local department store though, so perhaps it would be mare sensible to have an electric armchair with thick feather cushions and six beverage cup holders And of course, one of those furry animals with the pockets that drapes over the arm for you to put your remote controls in (not that I have one of these of course).
The very much improved wheelCOUCH
HyperFlux Posted Nov 22, 1999
Or you could take two of them. Build a frame around them and put a huge motor on the frame. Add a steering wheel, gas pedal, and some other fun gadgets. Call it a '67 Lincoln Continental. Or not.
The very much improved wheelCOUCH
KimotoCat Posted Nov 22, 1999
Or you could just take the armchair model, add a hole in the seat and a rectractable pillow, some robotics, a solid and sealable tank and the beforementioned motor, good wheels, well structured drivingability, remtotecontrol for the television, a built-in refrigerator and a microwave and then - perhaps - a hand-held shower. Fit all of this into it an et viola! You'll never have to leave it again!
But off course, others may want to leave you in it...
Key: Complain about this post
Things they don't want you to know
- 1: KimotoCat (Nov 19, 1999)
- 2: juniorganymede (Nov 20, 1999)
- 3: Lupa Mirabilis, Serious Inquisitor (Nov 21, 1999)
- 4: Kiz (Nov 21, 1999)
- 5: Lupa Mirabilis, Serious Inquisitor (Nov 21, 1999)
- 6: MaW (Nov 21, 1999)
- 7: Johnylongone (Nov 21, 1999)
- 8: Johnylongone (Nov 21, 1999)
- 9: HyperFlux (Nov 22, 1999)
- 10: KimotoCat (Nov 22, 1999)
- 11: MaW (Nov 22, 1999)
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