h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

On the flip side of the difficulty in getting a date is a more challenging topic: getting rid of one. You know the person, they seem nice, witty, attractive - possibly even charming.....until half way through the appetizers when you make one of several unfortunate discoveries:
They are the single most boring human on earth
They are obsessed with the sound of their voice
Their sense of humor is light years away from yours
They are, more or less, an axe murderer
They are married or in the process of becoming or unbecoming so
They are instantly obsessed with you and plan your future before the salad arrives
They have their friends/mother at the next table for moral support because they've never attempted any risk on their own

Then one must think of how to remove oneself from the situation...the true difficulty in dating.

... Which is why first dates should never be evening affairs. Much better is the go-for-coffee with a plan A and a plan B in your back pocket. Plan A might be a nearby art exhibit to suggest if the initial vetting shows promise. Plan B would be a forgotten dentist's appointment or an urgent last-minute meeting. "Sorry, got to run. It's been nice..."

Ok, my secret recipe for a safe first date(s) is.....
A Cinema trip, yup, simple as that. Find a film that you either want to see or don't mind sitting through ( it's dark, so your "subject" can't see the painfully bored expression on your face)
Today's films are usually accompanied by a soundtrack recorded at 150 db, so *most* of us can get away with snoring during the film.

No uneasy silence during conversation, as there isn't a conversation.
Go for a drink afterwards, and discuss the film. A common factor that both of you have recently experienced.
"ahhh," I hear you say, "shouldn't this advice be in the *how to get a date* section ?"

Weeellllll, yes,,,,but it's also useful for getting *rid* of a date, because....
If you don't like your date, you can just sneak out to the toilet/Nacho/popcorn etc, and NOT come back.
During the drink and film critique session afterwards, you just blatently disagree with *everything* your date has to say.

I disagree with the first method of getting rid of a date, since if you leave, he/she will be so disgusted by your behavior that they will immediately tell all their friends. Rumors spread quickly, and so do bad reputations.

I'm a survivor of three cinematic dates (Sleepless in Seattle, Evita, 101 Dalmations) and still single. Must be something in it then, eh?

Honesty is best. Early on in a first second date stage it is easy just to say 'Sorry I don't see any future in this, it's been fun, but I don't think it'll come to anything'

Later on honesty is the only way 'Look we've grown apart', 'I'm sorry we've given it a fair go but it's all gone stale' etc. That way at least the other person knows where they stand and don't rib themselves over what have I done wrong.

I agree with you; being devious, indirect or dishonest is not on....and may be part of the reason why so few dates appear.

Fruitbat
(who'd love a date without the stress)

Just pop into the nearest cybercafe log onto h2g2 and spend 2 or 3 hours posting forum entries. They'll soon lose interest and walk off. Or register as a researcher and have no time for you. Either way, problem solved.