h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If I can assume nothing else about Tuesday's election, I can at least hope that I'll get upwards of a full month where people are willing to shut up about politics.

I mean, how long've they been campaigning in this one? Two years? Chh.

Four years ago, I predicted that the "Anyone But Bush" campaign would fail because of its stern roots in hate. It was encouraging people to actively hate and loathe someone for making some tough and risky decisions, many of which were met by realistic consequences (for those who didn't already know, I'm one of maybe seven people I've met who doesn't actively loathe W. Bush or Bill Clinton. They both made some good and some terrible decisions, just like anyone.)

This year, it feels like the "Anyone But Him" attitude has shifted and the hate has been halved evenly between the two major parties. The "He's associated with Bush, ergo he must never be elected" group is strong, yes. And then there's the "The Media has chosen Obama! Vote against him!" group.

Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware of people arguing and complaigning about media bias in the previous election too. This is just the first year where I've noticed people automatically jumping to the conclusion that "If the media likes him, he must be bad." I don't wish to liken politics to a disease (joke predictions: either "but it is a disease!" or "that'd be an insult to many fine diseases."), but this still feels like the "let's address the symptom rather than the problem" attitude that plagued the Anyone But Bush campaign.

Four years ago, I gave some advice to a friend. It was, "Remember: no matter who wins the election, they aren't planning to break into your house and kill you the next night."

Remember that, everyone. Neither McCain nor Obama is prepared to break into your house with the intent of killing you. I bet you hadn't considered that yet, eh? They seem a bit better now, don't they?

*Sigh* If I'm not careful, I'm gonna start my "Baseball Caps and Politics" speech and no one has time for that. I should just stop now.

...wouldn't it be funny if Nader won?

Yes, yes, it'd also be disastrous, but wouldn't that just be hilarious from an objective viewpoint? I think so.

Oh, and one last thing. I don't know if I'll be voting for McCain, but I found sufficient reason to never even consider voting Obama.

http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20081027.html

We can't let a person who would make such a terrible mistake run the free world. It would be a disaster.

I'll have you know that Barack Obama has read all of the Harry Potter books, and correctly identified not only Superman's home planet, but also his father's name in a recent charity speech. I suspect Obama is a true Geek, and was dumbing down his "Batman" arguments specifically for the "normals" who were listening.

If you really think people are going to shut up about politics for even a nano-second, you'd better not take too close a look at Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal, who has been making recent trips to Iowa. There are only two reasons to go to Iowa: you have family there, or you want to be President. I'm not thinking that the Jindal family has any ties to Iowa, but I could be wrong.

Whatever you do, whoever you vote for, just vote. For the love of God, please vote.

What Irv said.

As a outside observer of this peculiar American tradition I'm hoping for a draw in the Electoral College, I think such a result would provide excellent entertainment for everyone outside of the USA

A draw would definitely end with a Democrat as President. In the event of a tie, the House of Representatives votes on who becomes President. The Senate votes on who becomes VP. They do not have to vote for one of the candidates.

Irv, I hate to tell you this but the Potter books are "mainstream," and Superman's home planet falls under "common knowledge" in my book. I'll grant that knowing Supe's father's name falls outside of the norm (which father out of curiosity, human or alien?) but that's not enough to excuse a second-tier level of nerd knowledge such as the History of the Five Robins.

And if he's intentionally dumbing down Batman knowledge, that's worse if you ask me. It'd be intentionally misleading people for the purpose of a straw man argument. Electing someone who would lie so willingly would be a bigger problem than the potential lack of superhero trivia.

He'd be harming our culture even more than Frank Miller's portrayal of Batman did by propagating such a myth. Grrr, Frank Miller...just couldn't leave Selina Kyle alone, could he? Stupid Miller...

The alien father. Everyone knows Pa Kent. What Obama actually said (and as I think I mentioned, this was a charity event, both he and McCain were cracking jokes and not being serious) was: "Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jor-el, to save the planet Earth,"

Unfortunately for those of us who may be deemed "the Elite," I believe Barack is going to have to appeal to those people who are only familiar with one Robin, as portayed by Burt Ward and Chris O'Donnell on the screen.

All of this aside, have we even seen that mistake printed outside of Shortpacked!? It may be fictional. A smear campaign to help re-elect Reagan.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I know everyone knows "Pa Kent." But Kent's first name wasn't "Pa," I was assuming that he might've known the actual first name.

Barack could easily appeal to Batman and/or Robin fans without having to fabricate superhero lore. What if, for instance, he said, "It'd be like Robin trying to work one of Batman's plans without permission?" See, then he'd have footing to stand on based on the disaster that happened when Stephanie Brown (the fourth Robin) was fired prompting her to try one of Batman's plans herself without permission or knowledge. The resulting Gang War was terrible.

And no, I haven't seen it referenced out of Shortpacked. The problem with the Reagan who pushes brooms at Shortpacked being re-elected would be with his running mate. Who'd run? Galasso? No way would I vote for a team with Galasso.

>>Who'd run? Galasso?
Robin, of course. Help sate her Palin envy.

Perhaps Obama should have gone another route entirely. He could have used a reversal of the metaphor: "Expecting McCain to go against Bush would be like expecting Alfred *not* to make a mildly condescending remark, and then do what he's told anyway."

Or how about "Expecting McCain to change from Bush's policies would be like expecting Frank Miller to make a story without a prostitute. I mean, what's the deal with Selina Kyle? Anyone? Anyone?"

Yes, Obama probably shares my personal vendetta against Frank Miller. I'm going to just assume that.

The author of XKCD simultaneously feels the way I do while also managing to be what I fear will begin tomorrow.

http://xkcd.com/500/

Exactly. Here in AZ, it looks like the 2010 Senate battle is already underway.

Well, as long as they don't try to pull a Palpatine and turn us into an Empire ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00f810y