h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He gets to utter really cool phrases like the immortal one 'The name's Bond......James Bond' and make it sound really cool, most times, unlike the rest of us. Somehow the phrase 'The names Macleod....David Macleod' just doesn't have that essential sexy sounding ring to it, and alas, doesn't seem to lead to the same result. In fact, most times, quite the opposite.

One thing I don't agree with however, is his preference for martinis. The phrase 'shaken, not stirred' doesn't seem to have anywere near the sexual connotations of 'stirred, not shaken'

Not forgetting the ability to come up with some really quick-witted phrases while going through the annihilation stage of his enemies. The only other characters I know with such a quick turn of phrase are Schwarzennegger in his action movies, and Chandler from the series friends.

Ah, but for the witty response while in teh process of being tortured/attacked/killing henchmen the best bond is roger moore who can come out with the most tastelessly funny phrases after he has dispatched a nasty. Notably, none of the girls, even the most simperingly stupid ones who quake at a gunshot find that disturbing.

But I still think the best line of all goes to Auric Goldfinger:

"So, Goldifnger, do you expect me to talk?"

"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die."

Just love it.

That one is a classic

He says 'shaken, not stirred' and not the other way round because martinis are normally stirred, so he wouldn't have to ask for this. However, shaking a martini chips the ice and makes it melt faster, so Bond is actually drinking weakly alcoholic cold water and being awkward about it.

Theres good reasoning behind this, he does not get drunk while drinking these. very handy if you need to have your witty wits about you, dont you think?

Then be honest and order a d*mn mineral water, don't be so bl**dy pretentious.

Drink a vodka martini. Drink a mineral water. They do not taste the same.

I don't drink, and always got the impression that the point of alcoholic drinks was the alcohol, and that the taste was to be put up with. Sorry.

He'd also look a bit of a pussy asking for a non alcoholic drink.

"My names Bond... James Bond. I'll have a carrot juice thanks."

He'd also look a bit of a pussy asking for a non alcoholic drink.

"My names Bond... James Bond. I'll have a carrot juice thanks."

As the guy who just said he doesn't drink, thanks for that.

No offence to you intended, it was a james bond specific statement. You cant have a superspy who doesnt drink.

I don't know, I mean, not every alcoholic drink works. Pint of theakstons wouldn't. A lime bacardi breaser is definitely off, It has to be a sippable drink with a long name. Similarly humourously named cocktails are way off, in fact, Miniral water could be doable if he said something like "McNaird's pure sparkling springwater, no ice and lemon" ok, not so much of a ring but excellent product placement opportunity. (Trust me, got a mate wo works for smirnoff, they did sctually want to change it to smirnoff martini)

James Bond? Not being pretentious? Imposter!

However watering down a drink actually makes it more alchoholic (assuming you dirnk the entire contents), since the effect of the water makes the alchohol enter the bloodstream faster. A wtered-down drink only contains less alchohol if it has the same quantity of liquid as a straight.

OOPS I though was a drunk at a party , not a loveblush