h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

a dramatization of a true story in several fits

11 am
enter concierge, a woman named Raven
[to patient] What would you like for dinner this evening? There's lasagna, or you can have a pork patty with sweet potato fries.
[patient (moi), enthusiastically] Oh, i'll have the lasagna, please!
[raven] OK! *annotates paper on her clipboard and departs*

6 pm
enter orderly, bearing dinner tray
*patient eagerly removes lid from dinner plate as orderly departs*

Ravioli?

*patient obligingly consumes the 5 ravioli swimming in sauce in a bowl, then rings call bell*
*orderly reappears*
[orderly] Do you need anything?
[moi] yes. more, please. i'm supposed to be on a high protein diet.
[orderly] i'll see what i can do. *exits*

5 minutes later
re-enter orderly holding bowl
[orderly] i'm sorry, they were out of ravioli, but i got you some lasagna, is that ok?
[moi] loud laughter

epilogue
the lasagna was delicious, clearly made on site

Glad you got lasagna in the end.

I still have some left over, too, if you want it, aubergine and red onion.

What a happy ending to your pasta dinner!

I didn't think they had you at a madhouse?

the madhouse seems to be in the kitchen. staff are still rolling eyes over the Night of the Hamburgers, when all patients had a hamburger for dinner. by midnight the blood sugar count of every diabetic patient had soared over 300. they think it was the cheap rolls, all chock full of high fructose corn syrup.

then there's the day we had spaghetti for lunch and macaroni cheese for dinner...

*waves to v*

At least it's not boring.

Yesterday's lunch: salami on whole wheat with cheese lettuce and tomato.
And a side of diced carrots and peas.