h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chewing gum ( or anything else come to think of it ) has got to be one of the most digusting habits available to man/woman kind.

If folks have to chew gum why can't they do it quietly, with their mouths' closed, and at a slow pace.

I've spent many horrid train journey next to a chewer doing none of the above.

I've also heard that chewing 'gets the stomach going' and makes it start producing extra acid for the food that's about to come it's way, and no food arrives the acid just churns around. Can't be good for you.

Gum's great. What are you talking about?

- Fresh breath
- Something to do on the tube to avoid looking like a gormless statue
- Everyone's oral fixation with anything to do with the mouth
- As they gum companies keep telling us, chewing after meals reduced acid in the mouth that can lead to decay

I suppose its just like a cigarette really, a social crutch for people who just can't keep still and have to constantly figit with something. Maybe they can't get their hands on a good drink? I would much rather be sitting next to a gummer than a smoker, though maybe some gum etiquette ought to be introduced.

- No audible noises
- Try not to spit and spray. Its gum, keep it in there.
- Don't try to blow bubbles with chewing gum. It's either going to fly across the room or end up stuck perminently to your face.
- If speaking when chewing gum, try to tuck it onto your molars rather than hit the recipient of your sage words.
- Always offer the pack about if you're just starting to chew. It only cost you 30p, and those eyes of longing that linger on the pack as you pop could become resentful.
- Don't EVER spit out your gum to anything but a rubbish bin. Just look at the pavements and the London Underground. Next time it could be you who ends up picking gum residue off an article of clothing and wishing gum had stayed in the trees.

A handy side note. Gum is illegal in Singapore. They may not have the most freedom in the world, but it sure is a clean and pretty place.

I agree with CAT about gum being anti-social, especially the way those under 16 chew it. They seem to think that gum = rebellion = cool, and so chew in such a way as to make sure that you KNOW that they are chewing gum on purpose, and not merely by accident. And then they need to put their succesfully chewed gum on display with their other trophies - which tends to be under their desk at school - and then have "see who's got the most gum stuck under their desk" competitions, waging a constant war against school cleaners who continually sabotage their plans and take their trophies away.

So maybe chewing gum should be made illegal for those under 16?

They're kids! Thats what they're supposed to be doing. Better that than stealing hubcaps to show they're cool and rebellious. Or starting smoking for that matter.
I don't see how its anti-social. Put a pack of cards in with gum and people talk about it for hours.
Though I agree, Gum Etiquette needs enforcement!

Yeah, I think that's a valid compliment... I'm just in a gum-hating mood today as I trod in some that wouldn't come off on its own earlier... But then, if you trod in something far nastier, you wouldn't think of banning and killing all dogs, would you?
You just gotta enforce the Etiquette. Or die.

Heh, how about an ascending sliding scale of accountability?

1. Teenagers.
2. Man's best friend.

Not a bad idea...

3. Little sister (in eyes of parents, an angel, but really a @$%£ !)
4. Older sister. (see above)

Sisters eh?

They're annoying as hell for their formative years, but once they get to a point that you can actually communicate with them without putting them in a headlock or them flaying the skin from your bones, you may indeed find that you get on quite well.

No. Really. Try it. You could be amazed. Of course its probably one of those subjective things that depends on a lot of peoples attitudes, and if it falls through, you have a good excuse for retailating to whatever they have in store for you next.
Just be prepared to slap yourself when she brings that really cute friend over.

Having a sister who is your ally is invaluable in that sort of thing.

You're certainly right CAT. And also, if the stomach acid builds up, it can cause severe stomach ulcers and other nasty things. Unfortunately, this only happens to a minority of adolescent gum-chewers; the rest of them don't even know the risks exist. I think people chewing gum is fine, as long as they don't talk to people whilst doing it, and dispose their gum in a litter bin...

Well, my sister's been a decent ally in the past, defending her "baby sister" from idiots at school. But when she's two years ahead of you, and she steals one of your best friends by dating him (the only decent guy I know in my school), not to mention joining several of the same activities as you despite the fact she's had her chance, it's edging on "Go away before I hurt you, sis". I'm trying to find my bit of privacy to relax, when I find she's already there, charming my friends away.

Sisters can be your best friends and worst enemies.

Just the side of a little sister...

All little sisters need is a big brother. They're like big sisters only they're not your worst enemy as well.

If you're nice to a younger sister, she's usually nice back; then you earn the trust that you can confide into her about some things.. which is far better than hating her..

Glad I was right about stomach acid.

Perhaps the gum makers should change their slogan to:

"It is clinically proven that chewing gum can burn holes in your stomach, oh, and by the way it may help prevent tooth decay"

Personally I use a tooth brush twice a day.

Anyone ever heard of a stomach transplant ?

No, but if sheep started chewing gum, would that mean that no-one would be able to eat haggis, as opposed to now, when no-one eats haggis.

Has anyone considered inventing a chewing gum specifically for people with no/false teeth?

Yes,

It's called "gumming gum"

I've seen a man with a beard blow a bubble. For the next 5 minutes he was picking bits of gum out of his face pubes.

Other gummy things that should be banned;
1. spitting gum from a moving car
2. sticking gum under seats, or on seats
3. smoking while chewing gum (the hooker look)
4. sticking gum behind your ear while you eat
5. putting gum in post boxes

Another gum related issue - At the themepark "Dreamworld" on the Gold Coast, QLD Australia they have a log flume which goes through a tunnel slowly at the start of the ride. The sides of the tunnel are absolutely COVERED in blobs of gum - all colors and sizes. There would have to be millions of pieces of gum. Some attraction huh?

Ooo, thanks Kaleb. THough I'm an Aussie I haven't been to Dreamworld. If I get a chance to go, I will remember not to go on the log ride.

Hi

I would rather them spit gum out on the floor than that!