h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My mother is a cyclops
My father is a slug
She keeps one eye on everything
Content they are, and smug

He slithers round the garden
Eating lettuce leaves all day
She watches with her one bright eye
No harm can come his way

And I, their kid, am handsome
I have my mother's eye
They feed me wholesome lettuce
And I never whinge or cry

One day I'll get away though
They're so content and smug
She keeps her beady eye on me
He's such a slimy slug

The year is 2657 and I was gentically designed to advertise eye makeup
OK! It's out of my controlbut! It's a living wage

heheh nice one Prof.

You know what? Topic drift alert ..

Regardless of the subject matter in my recent offering, I think I just ran into a mystical, meaningful grammatical situation.

I don't think 'I am' can be split. The I cannot leave the am. Nothing must come between them. Whom grammar has joined together, let no one split asunder ..

So my line, 'And I, their kid, am handsome'. Nah.

'And I, their kid, so handsome!'

Ah that's better!!

And I, at last, am going away.

Actually that sounds OK. Hmmm. Its also a good idea though. Byeeeee!

I love these little existential grammar discoveries.

I got dumped into the deep end when it came to teaching English. My degrees were in German. So when my students in Cologne asked, 'Why this?' I'd have to think about it.

'Why do you say, 'he's in the boat', but 'he's on the plane'?' I went away and thought.

Next day: 'Students, it depends on whether you can get up and walk around. Behold!'

He's on the plane = It's an airliner. He can walk down the aisle.
He's in the plane = It's a Curtis Jenny, and he's in the pilot's seat. If he gets up, he will fall out.

He's ON the bus, but IN the car. He's IN a rowboat, but ON the Queen Mary.

I was absurdly pleased with these ruminations.

Well hello everyone! I never thought my little slug would provoke so much commentary. That's a great poem Cactuscafé! I have no problem with the 'I am' separation ...

And I apologise for getting so far off-topic. I mistook the thread headline.

It is a most imaginative slug.

THEY will NOT me play "I spy with my little eye" because of the size of mineThey say I'm cheating

Splendid ruminations Mister D.

I'd like to request more, please? Encore! Encore! A classic Mister D slot. Now I'm obsessed with existential grammar ruminations. I never used to be obsessed with grammer, but now I am.

Sorry about the thread heading, I was telling myself to go away. Even though I'm a very confident person.

Great pic btw, Willem. See what you started? Eh? Nothing like a cyclops/slug to kick start the day. Or the night.