h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What with all that's been going on lately including having her job taken away, the death of our and money worries, my wife's turned to the magic of Christmas to deliver some much-needed cheer. This has included watching some Christmas films, including the 'The Santa Clause' trilogy. For those unfamiliar with the films, the premise is that Tim Allan's character, Scott Calvin, inadvertently kills Santa Claus and due to a clause, has to become , and the strain that this has on his relationship with his son. Now the sets change between films, fair enough, that happens, also I'll accept that no elf actor appears in all the films as they cast children to be elves and as there's a 12-year gap between the first and last film, obviously the child actors in the first aren't children at the time of the third.

In 'The Santa Clause' what bothers me is that no-one at the North Pole, none of the Elves or reindeer, are in the slightest bit bothered that the previous Santa has died. There's no grieving widow, no-one as much as blinks an eyelid but instead smilingly welcomes the new guy. No memorial service or candles or wreath, a would be something. No, after all his hard work does not get so much as a
Also 'there arose such a clatter' doesn't really sound like 'rose scented ladder'.
The North Pole's miniature railway looks great fun, though.

In 'The Santa Clause 2' it is revealed that in order to be , you have to be married and have a wife or the desantification process takes place. Hmm, so no North Pole Pride then. Also, why wasn't the who died in the first film married then, eh? Also, where has the miniature railway gone?
In the film, falls in love with the principal of his son's school. We're told how it is a good school that gets good grades – yet bizarrely it has a security guard, who appears armed. What sort of school is it if it needs a beweaponed security guard! The uni I work at doesn't have any security guards as it is inconceivable it would need any.

In 'The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause', a film with a plot nicked straight out of 'Wonderful Life', wishes he'd never been and creates a parallel world in which Jack Frost becomes - but somehow Jack doesn't need a wife. The elves pretend to be Canadian by making a fuss about eating chips with vinegar – who doesn't eat chips with vinegar? And there's still no miniature railway. Oh, and the film is fairly terrible, but in a feel-good, y Christmassy way.

<BB<

I assume this story takes place in the US? Many schools in the armed-to-the-teeth United States of Chaos have security guards. Some also make the students go through metal detectors to enter the school.

The news may not have reached the other side of the Atlantic yet, but there have been shootings in schools this millennium. Some of the perpetrators of mass killings have even been children with guns. And no, not all of those killings have been in poor urban neighbourhoods. A lot of them have been in scenic places where the rich people live.

In other words, RL has intruded into your fantasy.

"Hmm, so no North Pole Pride then"

Good point indeed!

Yes, it is set in the US (and North Pole). They're Disney films, which you expect to present the world in an unrealistic, happy glow. It might just be me, but I find the idea that the existence of armed security guards in US schools being considered so normal that it is unaffected by Disney's rose-tinted filtered view of quite worrying...

<BB<

Do you know the films, Sasha?

<BB<

You're right, BB.

I haven't seen any of the films, no.

I am fairly familiar with the plot of the first one, though, as I saw quite a bit of Tim Allen promoting it at the time... I didn't appreciate the lack of subtlety in it that you highlighted here, though!

Was Tim Allen in the sequels, too?

Yes, all three (1994-2006) star Tim Allen as Scott Calvin / . They're very y but fairly feel good films, but certainly not in my top ten or twenty Christmas films for the reasons I've given above - but my wife likes them. The children are on my side – last year they found it confusing that Jack Frost was a baddy in 'The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause' though the hero of 'Rise of the Guardians' (which is a better film).

Tim Allen makes quite a good all things considered, but I still dislike the fact he killed the previous one. Oh, and the fact that in the first film Scott's ex-wife spends much of her time trying to get the court to prevent Scott from being allowed to see his son (because he is going round saying his dad is ).

<BB<