h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chinese Whispers.

On the last day of January 2020, the people of Britain looked into the future and saw an alien world.

Whilst half the country argued with the other half about whether Big Ben should bong to celebrate (or mourn) the Advent of Brexit, almost three hundred and twenty-five thousand souls held their breath and watched the news channels with dread .

Each mile the televised convoy of coaches swallowed caused new waves of dread, and Chinese Whispers of outlandish conspiracy theories.

Eight hundred possibly deadly strangers were hurtling up the motorways, ever closer to the Wirral Peninsula

Shops were emptied of dry and bottled provisions, bleach and hand sanitizers were the next to suffer locust-like panic buying.

Fences went up around the local hospital, fears of the locals gathering up torches and pitchforks in protest of these quarantined Invaders using their Homeland.

Secret plans to barricade the tunnels. Block the M53, ground the ferries and trains.

A peninsula. Perfect should the unimaginable occur. Corona virus, this inscrutable Oriental killer, could be contained. Emergency catastrophe planning predicted a death toll of ten to twenty percent, should the unimaginable happen.

News channels reported the successful arrival of the weary, but so far, healthy Invaders on British soil.

Conspiracies theories trebled. The government happy to restrict the death toll to 30 - 60 thousand.

The mainland would be safe, life would go on.

So, we have a fortnight to wait, praying the apocalypse won't happen.

If the Wirral is turned into something from Escape from L.A. I will become Snake Pliskin to protect my family.i have the leather gear Armageddon will be faced with biker Viking fury. Ragnorok can kiss my behind!

On a happier note, if we do get cut off from Brexit Britain, we can't get to work, there's an off licence down the road, and the football's on telly all summer!

I shall obviously take photos and report for the Post…..if they don't shut our internet access off when the unimaginable actually happen.

But at least we won't have to explain where we are on the map any more!

(Excuse the typos, Chinese phone and I actually have a cold!)

Indeed

Ah, I hope you feel better soon (ie within 14 days...)

Fingers crossed!

Some prof. just been on the radio...thought he said he's a Wirrologist....that'd be virologist with an Eastern European accent!

Yes, these are the Wirrologists http://sites.google.com/site/wirralhha/speakers

Yup. Harding is very good.

Snake Plissken (played by Kurt Russell) was the star of "Escape from New York," which saw in 1981.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082340/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

"Escape from L.A." either never existed as a movie, or Kurt Russell was denied the chance to play that character in it.....

Sorry,

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082340/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Apart from that, I might still prefer to hole up in the Wirral peninsula rather than deal with the orange-haired in my own country.\

At least Wirral would have those cute little birds for me to eat -- er, admire.

I've always thought 'Escape from LA' was the superior movie. In addition to Kurt Russell, you get to watch Steve Buscemi mug. The 'Map to the Stars' is a great running gag.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116225/

funny how IMDB's search engine doesn't send you hits on "L.A." when you spell it out as "Los Angeles."

I don't like IMDB's new search format. N order to search, you need to scroll down to "site map," click on it, and scroll down to the Search choices.

Sometimes searchers don't lead an easy life

Obviously the Letterbox reboot *Escape from Abakhan" is my fave.

Oh Paul....as if I'd get a Pliskin reference wrong!

Well, I figured that anyone who wanted to escape from New York would go to Los Angeles, which is as unlike New York as you can get.

And we both know how much Hollywood likes sequels.

I hadn't realised that the deadline last night was a "thing" till I saw all the WhatsApp this morning. I had just gone to bed with a book. Nothing is going to happen yet anyway.

A propos 'apocalypse'- one of my friends pointed out that the coaches transporting the people from China were marked 'Horseman'.

It's all right for you lot - unless you live on the Wirral - but the influx of Germans being flown out of China are being quarantined in the barracks literally at the end of our street.

According to what I read, you're fine if you stay more than two meters away from anyone with the disease.

Just don't get too close to the meter maids.

*It's all right for you lot - unless you live on the Wirral -*

My point exactly TC! The sight of the four Horsemen coaches did little to relax our nerves, who picked that particular bloody company?

And yes Paul, Good Omens etc etc....

"Good omens" is Gilbert and Sullivan crossed with the "left behind" series.

(I always wonder why the right behind is not included. Is this a reference to the woman with only one buttock in "Candide?")