h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It always amazes me how much a visit to s foreign country is improved by learning a few words in the local language.

I am sadly, not a natural linguist. (English is hard enough as the grammar police frequently witness.)

A few words in varying languages, probably spoken badly or mispronounced, but, everywhere I've been, my efforts have been warmly received.

Please, thank you, hello, goodbye, very nice etc etc. Whether it's Swahili or Spanish. Every little helps.

Speaking to someone the other day about what a fabulous holiday (vacation...see I speak American too!) we had enjoyed in Turkey.

Turns out he'd been going to the country for the last two decades. Different area than us.

I was telling him about asking the staff to teach my family and me a different Turkish word each day, and the fact that a few simple phrases stood us in good stead several times, and the locals seemed to appreciate the effort.

Blank looks.

"Why bother? You should go to the more touristy places; they all speak English!"

Twenty years...not one word. Twenty years!

Blackpool in the sun syndrome strikes again.

Those words will always bring back memories, too.

I once went on a works weekender to France...colleague actually took a tin (can) of soup with him...not eating that foreign muck...Heinz French onion much better...obviously!

Do they have a Heinz plant in the UK? Even a Pittsburgher wouldn't do that, and I've been past the home office hundreds of times.

When I was in France, I got compliments on my French.

When I was in Italy, I did try to learn some of the language. The down side was that the more Italian I learned, the less Spanish was left in my head. So, I could go back to Rome, but I'd better forget about visiting Madrid .

I do a fairly good job of pronouncing different languages. I may not have a clue as to what the words mean, but over the years I've had coaching on pronunciation. I love the way you say "L" in the back of the throat when you're speaking or singing in Ukrainian or Russian. German is actually a lovely, gentle language when spoken by natives.

I love sounds. Can't help it. I'm apt to try repeating any interesting phrases I hear. The line between speaking and singing is a thin one.

I will now get off my soapbox and let you carry on with your excellent journal.