h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Japan is...well...Japan. For of you Tourists out there who think that Japan is a serene country full of trees, beautiful mountains, and clear blue skies...you're partially right. This is especially true in the Fussa area (Fussa is approx 32 miles from Tokyo, even though you average 35 mph on a normal day or lower). Mt. Fuji is a tourist trap, so if you're thinking Fuji is going to be just as serene as the postcards, you need help. If you go to Fuji, it's only open during the summer months (around May to August) and it's well worth the trek uphill. Although it is recommended that you be in good physical shape when climbing as the altitude is approx 12,000 ft., so take care when recognizing altitude sickness. If you're a real nature lover, the best bet is to drive through the back streets, as highways have ridiculous tolls (we'll touch on that later, or maybe not at all). Don't be afraid to get lost! That is the biggest mistake you can make. The only way to not get lost is to actually be able to read Kanji and live in Japan your whole life. I've known people who've been here for the past 3 years and they get lost all the time. Eventually the backstreets will take you into the mountains. These are better that some that I've seen in California (although, it could compete with some in Colorado and New Mexico...correct that, New Mexico has a league of it's own).
For you shoppers, I really hope that you are stinking filty rich 'cuase just one 2-D cell Maglite will cost you about 20 bucks (2400 yen). Also, one thing that will help you out is pay attention to the yen conversion rates. It usually fluctuates between 100 to 110 yen to the U.S. dollar. Take out your money when it's about as close to 110 yen as you can get (a good area is 105 and up). As for your transportaion, there are car rental places here, but I would suggest you take the train which is extremely cheap and easy once you figure it out. And you can get almost anywhere on it. I really don't suggest you take taxi's and I'll just leave it as that.
For you military members, you have full support here from the N.E.X and AAFES services on base as well as USO and the US embassy offbase (The embassy is available to civilians as well) should you come into trouble or need supplies (supplies refers to the military exchanges).
Things that could get you in big trouble:
Driving Drunk. The local police are not very tolerant when it comes to DUI's and that sort. The Laws are different over here so Johnny Cocheran won't be able to help you for those of you who are dependant on your lawyer threats, besides, most don't speak english and would only laugh at you if they did.
Drugs. They are readily availabe in the more seedier parts of Japan (i.e. Roppongi, Shinjuku, Tokyo, etc). It is strongly recommended that you stay away from them as many deals can lead you into trouble with not only the law, but the Yakusa as well. (see below)
Women. This appies to you guys mainly. We;ve all heard about the women here; beautiful. However, as they come from a different tradition, they expect more than dating (No! Not that! Think about it!), I'm talking mainly about Marriage. Even if you do go through with the I do's, your wife will go through a very strange change... she will be "possessive" (I put this in there as it can only be described as that...although, it is a bit more extreme...)
Yakusa. These guys are bad news...if you see one, you'll know when you do...you could mistake one for a high class pimp, get away as fast as possible. They are usually armed and trained in how to use the weapon. Not your common gangbanger from the 'hood, these guys will try to get onto a highly gaurded military installation to get whatever they came for (notice I said "try").

Enjoy your trip to Japan

...Yen Sucks.

Signed,
The Glorious and yet Flammable

Glorious yet Flamable? Are you a Muffin?