h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Okay, now this is funny.

The BBC reports that people in Egypt are heaping scorn upon Egyptian yuppie-types who refer to falafel in pita - a popular fast food over there - as...

...wait for it...

'Green Burger'.

Apparently, for an Arabic speaker, giving something a name in English makes it sound trendier and classier. Here's the BBC story with a few tweets for you Arabic readers:

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-40610469

Now, this made me laugh, because it's just human nature. In the US, we always used to give food French names to make it sound fancier. And we were just as silly about it. For example, in the US, 'a la mode' is universally assumed to mean 'with ice cream'.

Which is why my literal-minded hippie friend used to order a 'hamburger a la mode' at the diner. 'But it says here, a la mode, 50 cents extra on all items,' he insisted. Rather than argue, they gave him the scoop of ice cream. Hippies were expert cadgers.

Nowadays, of course, with the US-French relationship going up and down, putting Francais on a menu is a dodgier proposition. I mean, the president likes the French *this* week, but who knows? We could be back to 'freedom fries' in the blink of a tweet...

The cool food language these days appears to be Italian, for some reason. Probably because it's relatively easy to pronounce, and allows diners to be 'in the know' while wolfing down pasta and deli meat. It doesn't sound bad for your diet when it's called capocolla. Not compared to 'pig's head and neck'. This is why we do not use German, people. Questions get asked about Schweinefleisch. Uncomfortable questions.

Look at this, and tell me why eating it makes you a high-type personality:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Coppa_de_Corse_-_Coppa_di_Corsica_-_002.jpg

All of which leads us to the US Twitter scandal of the week. A 'pundit' by the name of David Brooks was holding forth in the New York Times. He asserted that the fall of Western Civilisation was being caused by deli meats. Well, not exactly. He used deli snobs as an illustration of how the fausses élites over here were keeping down the masses with their chi-chi talk. It wasn't a very good example, and he got creamed on Twitter by what an elderly acquaintance of mine in Bonn used to refer to airily as 'die breite Masse'.

Here's Huff Post's take on it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/david-brooks-sandwich-oped-twitter_us_5964d883e4b09b587d6215b8

If you have to show off by eating overpriced sandwiches, served by people like that Whole Foods lot who have no better sense than to dump the whole spice rack in there, you deserve the damage to your taste buds. Me, I'd rather have some nice, plain Greek food. Gyros will do me fine, though I wish Americans would learn to pronounce it - it doesn't rhyme with 'tyro'.

Oh, well. At least it's not a Green Burger. Bon appetit!

English definitely is trendy for food stuff - and others. Often used in dubious ways.

We were at Ikea today and found out a new shop opened next to it. It sells sweets from the US. So far so good. Out of curiosity we had a look and found strangely empty shelves and ridiculous prices:

a tiny package of Aunt Jemima's pancake mix for about 5 Euros
a small bottle of Aunt Jemima's sirup for the same price
a packet of Twinkies for 7 Euros
various packages of crisps for 4 Euros

I can't remember more than that, but you get the idea. That's just crazy. I wonder how long the shop will survive. Apart from Mc Donald's no enterprise associated with US food seems to survive here for various reasons. Some seem to sell their stuff for twice the price they have in the US, others lack in basic quality.

In other cases I am not sure. We had a very good hot dog and home made burger restaurant here in town, but it only survived for about a year. The guys really made an effort and prices were absolutely ok. I guess people here probably just prefer Kebab?

When it comes to Italian food I probably wouldn't have understood their menu either, although we do get various Italian products in supermarkets here, as Italy is just around the corner.

Laughter over here. Especially at the idea of a 7-euro Twinkie.

Mediterranean food and Austrian food are so much better than US fast food, I would wonder if they could stay open over there. Kebabs are definitely healthier than hot dogs.

You don't want to know what's in a non-kosher hot dog...

I thought the same about the Twinkies. We shook our heads and went out of the shop again.

Well, in this case the hot dogs really were fine.

I would expect this in sausage country.

We can get kosher hot dogs - and some very good bratwurst around here. But it's Pennsylvania.

tinned "hot dogs" in shops here are mainly chicken

Ugh.

http://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/?id=257350462

for 1 brand

back in the dark ages, when I were a even younger thing, studyign at university; hotdogs (tinned variety) were so cheap I occasionally went through periods where I'd virtually live off them, when was short

I found a shop selling tinned hotdogs, 8 sausages in a tin, for... - 9 pence! - I'm not convinced they had any meat in them, but if thrown into cheap white bread, with a smothering mountain of tomato ketchup, it made a filling meal, with, I guess, virtually no redeaming nutritional aspect at all

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/all-you-need-know-about-black-pudding

damnit! I miss black pudding (damn diet....)

Well, we're not food snobs around here, that much is clear.

I've gotten better as I've gotten older.... - I've not eaten cat food or dog biscuits, or rabbit treats, since I ... hmm... mid-teenager years, and I've not cooked locus since I was 16

My nephew, who's in his 30s shares his breakfast with the cats...same spoon...

My Dad used to cook himself breakfast, and make the same for the dog... and they'd sit there together, eating toast and marmalade!

I used to eat the 's but was told never to give the mine

Later I learned I shouldn't eat too much because it might be as bad for me as my was for the

What can I say? You live and learn. Woof!

my auntie had some dry dog biscuits.... for her dog, and I'd sit round, in her kitchen, just eating them out of the bag... used to get the weirdest looks from the poor dog and from my aunt com eto think of it

One of my step-sisters was like that, had a thing about doggie kibble.

Couldn't stand it myself.

Had an army chaplain once who liked dog biscuits.

Never tried one myself.

Laying around, looking at the clock, scratching my itchy stomach sutures through the bandages.

Almost lunch time.

we used to get our golden lab, dog biscuits called bonio's I shared his

Our dog literally explodes if we give him any of our food.

Anyway, they don't sell tinned sausages here and only very few in glasses - which I think hardly anyone buys. Sausages here are usually in sealed packages or sold by piece from the counter. My in-laws sometimes send sausages in glasses from Germany, but we're very picky about which kinds we like.