h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nice.I enjoyed reading that.
A good set of precationary tales for those who live in safe areas, I really know what you mean.
I dwell in N.Z, we have a couple of spiders that may cause a nasty rash, or even kill if youre over 95 or under 1 year old. there isnt much here that can kill you except for the weather, blatant stupidity, and other people.
But I did live in austrailia for a while. once you get used to where you are now you might be ready for Auzzie.
No seriously, the whole place has deadly things crawling all over it, they are all highly sociopathic and have no concept of size difference its a case of "see, Attack".
Their ants are even colour coded, black, green, red, white. all of em have a bite that belongs on a much bigger animal.

theres only one thing about your entry that bothers me.

You DO check your boots before you put them on don't you?

I wondered if anyone would pick up on that!
The advice given before we arrived was to shake footwear and look in to check. Unfortunately, given that I spent a few years in the military, I knew this to be helpful but tempting fate. Think about it, you've found a nice wee hidey-hole and suddenly it shaking all over the place. Most insect based beasties have fairly good claws and sticky foot appendages which is why you see them in positions usually associated with serios rock clinbers, geckos or highly advanced robots. So what do you do? Brace yourself and stay put. I've heard of too many instances where a shake was completed only to have the tootsoes nibbled anyway by a now thoroughly annoyed and armed bug. I take the old fashioned approach using a combination of obstacles and chemicals. Stuff the days socks into the top of the boot and if theymanage to get past that then the concentrated vapours emanating from the aforementioned sock combined with the funk of the insoles should act as my own personal chemical marker. However, if one day I should get bitten despite these primitve precautions, I'll let the buggers have the boots as it'll mean that they have evolved from something that is just instincively programmed to defend itself into a conscious entity with the ability to attack for the sheer hell of it; sort of like the more stupid British football fan.
Thanks for the comments and it's heartening for such a error filled first attempt to make it's point and leave that "Larsonesque" mental image.
Cheers