h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The firework disaster in Kolding, Denmark - 2004 - A3720863
Author: Justin_Case - U1346819

This entry could probably need some help from an English speaking person. Though my writing skills in Danish are very well thought of I think I might have some problems with Englihs, since it's so different in punctuation and such. So please, feel free to correct me where I am wrong or tell me if I should change some parts of it... Thank you!

Let's sort out the spelling first of all and then other people can pitch in with grammar, sentence structure and general comments about the piece

november the 3rd 2004. ~~ 3rd November 2004
While medias around the world were fixed on the US election, Denmark had another more serious problem on it's hands.~~While around the world, media was fixed on the US elections, Denmark had another more serious problem on its hands.

tv~~either television or TV I think. (There are a few twiddly bit at the start of this paragraph too but they are minor and can be straightened by a polisher)

delightfull~~delightful

made of villas~~made up of villas

everyone~~every one

november~~November

Seest was hit by the most unlikely accident. At 2 pm a container at the nearby fireworks factory 'N.P. Johnsens' bursts into flames.
You suddenly change tense here. If this is intentional then it is worth starting a new paragraph.

desission~~decision

debree~~debris

chockwave~~shockwave

broadcastet~~broadcast

I think this has good potential as both an interesting and informative piece. Hopefully people will be along to comment on the content at some point. Once you've sorted the spelling I promise to take a look at the sentences, grammar etc as well as content. A lot of these things can be sorted by a polisher later, but admittedly it is more likely to be picked for the UnderGuide if nice and tidy.

Good luck with this

This is a good entry. It's keeps the attention and has a sense of immediacy. I remember seeing footage of this on the tv news over here in the UK. It was, , spectacular. Wasn't it the case that there shouldn't have been those quantities of explosives in storage there?

Your English is good too. There's a little nonstandard English, which Kat has commented on, but not much that matters. The only bit I didn't understand was "Krysantemum-Bombs". I'm guessing they're a firework of some kind? One that contains something that reacts with water?

Justin_case are you familiar with h2g2's Edited Guide? I'm asking because this piece of yours wouldn't take much editing to become a candidate for the EG if you were interested in submitting it for that. It is of course most welcome here in the Alternative Writing Workshop and would make an equally good Post article, or UnderGuide piece.

Thanks for posting, thanks for telling the the story .

The author hasn't been around since this entry was actually put in here

It's early days yet
Waz (fingers crossed)

This does have potential...

Agreed, and there's only 8 Edited entries about Denmark in the Guide, and frankly I'd love to see an entry by an author called 'Justin Case' make the front page.

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