h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

afraid I can'tsend you any,Leo. I have some jello molds.

That latex mask stuff isn't quite available yet for the masses. I was thinking back to my time with the CIA.

Here's another idea that could work. A bank robber in New Hampshire disguised himself as a tree by attaching a bunch of branches to himself with duct tape.

http://www.boingboing.net/2007/07/09/man-disguised-as-tre.html

If you could do that in class for the next few months, maybe when I took your place with the same disguise, no one would notice the substitution?

I know tree branches are very hard to obtain in NYC, but otherwise this plan seems almost completely foolproof.

Oops, I forgot.

Those Yankee trees lose all their leaves in the Winter.

They have something called Evergreens, you fool.

Brilliant! Pine branches?

At least you'd be fresh smelling wearing pine branches.

Oooh! Oooh! I know.

A black burka with a veil?

.....

(slinks into computerworld after several weeks spent drinking Spanish brandy and attempting to cure an h2 smiley-addiction ...)

this is what happens when one attempts to retire from h2 ... conversations somehow take stange turns .. ..as if they didn't always .... ... and you find that you are lured back .... wondering what your friends are up to ....



Clive !!! ...

and you find that Lt Col Clive Feathersham OBE was here .... not to mention Hiram (Old Blood and Guts) Pettigrew ... and Wolfgang and Houndstooth and Ms Schuster herself ......

oh no! how could I have missed them .... come back my darlings ... I am about to read what you had to say ....

and was that Spammy I saw there lurking?

(Hyp luv ... I will be e-mailing .. I am running slow ..but springtime is zapping me with newfound daisyhazy energy ..... )



Phredster ..... I just finished my ZMM audiobook .... all eleven CDs ... splendid .. didn't fast forward once ... ah yes .. Quality Quality ...



I've got into audiobooks see .... being a bit slow with reading text .... and I found out that one of my all time favourite books ... Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance ... had been brought out in audio CD ..... 11 CDs .... 13 hours listening time .... with a bit of music at the end of each CD ....



do you have audiobooks in the library Hyp? I love them .. I want to know what else I can get on audio .. mind you .. my taste is a bit underground .. cult ... hmm .. it was a surprise that ZMM was recorded ...




oh and Phredster .. tomorrow night our local arts cinema is showing ...

... we're going of course ... looks like a great documentary .. will let you know ..

have you seen it?

wonder if is on audiobook ... hmm

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

gotta go ...

>>afraid I can't send you any,Leo. I have some jello molds<<

Some told me I broke the jello mold, so maybe we need another one?


Burka works! We don't even need to go that far. There's a Muslim girl who doesn't like the shape of her nose, so she wears the whole face thing. I can suddenly become embarrassed by my own, and decide to take the veil. It'll be nice and warm in the winter. I'm sure you won't mind.

What's a nice Jewish girl like you doing in a burqa like that?

Awright, awright, I'm gonna confess.

I've been spending a great deal of time sniping at fundies...you know, those religionists who hate just about everybody except Lot and Job...

It's incredible how brainless some people can be.

Plus, I get to talk with impunity. It hones the skills of persiflage, prevarication, and totally expressive chutzpa.

I'm not Lot or Job, nor a lot of job either. You mean people hate me?

Wut wut wut, hey, well, they hate everything that moves, apparently.

Aw snap. Sorry to hear about the layoff. I can truly empathise, 2/3 of my offspring have had really slim pickings over the last several months, down to 1/3 now, waiting for the construction industry to pick up again. Anyone need a union-certified journeyman electrician?

Every damned year, the damned Cali state gov't stage their damned state budget passion play. That causes nerves to jangle, believe me. Technically I'm working for the Governator, as he's the president of UC.

Um, furlough days I can handle, I can use an extra Martian holiday now and then. But I'm happy they finally put the plan together.

Dear Leo,

Is that how you spell burqa? I must look it up. I think that it should be regulation wear for all women, I am seriously thinking of wearing one. !!

Is it true that you have lost your job? If so I am really sorry about it. The world is in a real mess and I must admit that I have not the faintest idea why.

go well and keep up your spirits.

Christiane
Also ran80

Yes... the world as we know it is coming to an end.

The fools are now trading in their money market shares for gold bullion in the deluded notion that it might help...

Once I found an original 1933 typewritten manuscript in an old steamer trunk. It was written by Ezra Pound on the subject of money and gold. He felt that the only thing gold was good for was fabricating false teeth.

After carefully studying the financial markets for the past year, I have donated the contents of our storage unit to the Salvation Army. Now I am refilling it with cases of fine whiskey. Whiskey stores well and I will be able to use it when everything collapses:
a. For barter.
b. For oblivion.

The Mayans had it right. Every 52 years they burned all their possessions, forgave all debts and sacrificed a few virgins to insure the return of the sun and economic prosperity in the next cycle.

It all sounded fine until you got to sacrificing virgins...

Yes, I've been laid off. I was expecting it. I mean, I was the most useless person in the office, and I'll be the first to admit it. I was getting sick of the job too. So everyone is happy now, except for my lack of income.

In addition to the stock of whiskey, I'd work on getting an armored RV that runs on plastic rubbish. In the case that the world doesn't end after all, you might win a prize for your green and economical invention.

So It's been a long time...been a long lonely time.

Mrs. Phred and I just returned from Amsterdam with all the bicycles, Red-light ladies in the windows and 1600 coffee shops that sell soft drugs (pot and hash).

About ten kids got sniffed by drug-sniffing dogs and pulled aside by customs on the return. I suspect that their only crime was failure to hit a laundromat.

We are parked near our seven grandchildren and swimming with them every day.

I've agreed to hang around and caulk and paint the girl's playhouse, clean up construction debris from the new addition and get several lawn mowers and weed-wackers working again.

I have a big campfire going tonight, which always reminds me of former h2g2 friends.

How goes it? Is anybody in there?

My Blog

http://thefirecloudreport.blogspot.com/

ohmigod sir Phredster .. just read the Black Water Posting in the Report .. what??

the Black Water Posting is legendary though ...and will achieve cult status I think .. .. even though you might not see the shine right now .. ... through the slime ... whoah .. that's queasy ...

hey Phred the Phredster! .. ah Amsterdam .. ah Vincent ... I went there once .. to honour the ghost of Vincent Van Gogh...lay tulips at the door of his soul ..

sort of thing like ....

yay

H

Thanks for the blog link; I signed up to follow you. I used to look in regularly, but with one thing and another, I lost the habit. I like your writing style -- economical and very descriptive. Also, liked what you wrote/linked to on the bridge at Arnheim. I had heard the story, but didn't really follow it before.

Good to see you and Mrs Phred back; I hope you can visit more often!

DR aka...

Does the blog have a running account of your tennis scores?