h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...telling this guy that he is getting on my nerves and would he please find another free taxi service would be a doddle. Having to hear him moan about our job all day is bad enough, and is starting to get me down, but being lumbered with giving him a lift at the end of the day is just getting too much. I'm trying to work out how to persuade him to ask another sucker for a lift, as there's plenty of people who go in the same direction. Some of his comments over the last couple of days have exacerbated the situation. I don't think he means to be rude, but he is annoying and he won't seem to get a hint and drop a topic. How do I 'dump' him without being offensive and making the work situation awkward?

Say you've got to go check in on your parents cat while they're on holiday for a couple of weeks and they live in the other direction, maybe he'll find someone else to moan at...okay, not Shakespeare, but it might work

Be offensive

that would probably work, or just tell him he's cramping your style and the obligation means your social life is suffering...ie because of him, you can't go out.

A "friend" did that to me, after fleecing me and our mutual friend Bex for double the cost of a weeks petrol consumption for a few months she told us we were cramping her style and so we told her to sod off. She was driving us to college but more often than not we ended up getting the bus home or begging my sister or her dad for a lift which took them ages out of the way. This I may add often being on days when she'd taken the money from us both and wanted to get pissed. We told her we didn't want lifts anymore (she swiftly then moved into halls) and luckily Bex passed her driving test. I was more than happy to give her petrol money!

Anyway, when we went to uni, I passed my driving test and Bex and I took turns driving in. We had a great laugh, we listened to loud music, sang very loud and laughed our way through our commute. It was lovely. Then "friend" in 2nd year, I saw her walk into the canteen and offered her a seat. She was fine until I noticed she was quite and I asked if she was okay and she went off her head because I had never offered her a lift since she ran out of money and moved home! She'd never asked, we'd talked on and off since we moved on to uni and we were fine, but she never asked for a lift once (she also would never have offered help towards petrol despite it doubling in those three years) Anyway, she went nuts and the another girl I was with just sat there opened mouthed when she left, flabbergasted by her insanity and when I explained why I didn't offer agreed she wouldn't either.

Like I said, I'd known this girl since I was five and she used to pick between out of my sisters and I who she would play with and would only play with one of us. She also alienated all her friends at school, so I as her then best friend brought her into my group of friends...she then pushed me out and made a point of causing ruck-shuns between my friends and I to get attention. Not a nice person. Selfish and unkind and used people left right and centre. She is no longer a friend.

Had she asked, despite the way she was, I probably would have said yes. I always felt guilty driving past her, but I just knew it would end in me getting used and hurt and frankly suckered into another one of her games...so I chose not too. I do feel like this reflects badly on me, it's not something I would normally do, but this girl was not nice.

Sometime people alienate themselves from offers of kindness and friends and indeed lifts

(sorry babble over )

I have a plan up my sleeve (which also happens to be true, no required!) so I'm hoping that no longer being as convenient will encourage him to look for another sucker. Failing that, I may 'move home' to somewhere in the opposite direction or resort to a Gosho.

Sorry to hear about your experience. There are always people like that and the younger we learn this the better. My son had to learn the hard way with a house mate last year, but he and his friends had the last laugh.

Frankly I allowed our friendship to go on far longer than she deserved it too and was psychologically good for me. I'm just too damn nice!

I did have one good last laugh, which technically came two years prior. As I said, we started uni together, after college and we fell back into friendship - mostly out of familiarity. But one day, I realised that I was ignoring my new friends at lunch and breaks to spend time with someone who had hurt me more times than I could count and that I no long really wanted to have as a best friend. So I told her I wasn't happy and needed to make an effort with the new people I was meeting and basically that we needed time apart because otherwise I would never be brave enough to approach the people in my classes and make new friends. I told her I was still her friend, but I needed to make a change so I could grow and develop new friendships.

the one and only time I've broken up with someone!

thinking about it now, despite what she'd done the year before screwing my friend and I over I do feel guilty about dumping her, but actually, I made far better friends than her - who didn't use me. Plus it was prudent given her wack-a-doodle nature!

is this a secret plan or do we have to wait until it's complete?

The plan never came about due to him being 'offensive and making the work situation awkward'! I've come to the conclusion that he's actually a bit 'odd' so I'm rather glad that he's out of my hair (or rather car) but his behaviour at work is a little off-putting. Nothing nasty, just petty really. I'm not the only one who's commented on his odd behaviour so I'm just getting on with it and taking no notice.

Glad he's out of your hair/car. The best thing to do is just get on with your day and not taking notice, it's not always easy, but it's better than nothing. It's always nicer on that moral high ground

The view from up here is amazing and the air is so clear. Plus I have the satisfaction of being better at my job too.

How are things with you?

I'm okay dear. Just gotten home from having my hair cut, which I haven't had done for three years (bar trimming the split ends off myself) and I enjoyed it bar the having to sit in front of a full length mirror for an hour. I really hate having to sit in front of that mirror, it forces you to stare at all the bits of you your hate!

Other than that just been working and starting to try and design the Christmas window so I can start making it. Only got about 4 weeks or so to get it all ready.

You?