h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, apparently Britain has its first official astronaut in training, Major Tim Peake.

He's all over the papers, and yet, bafflingly, not a single one of them has yet asked whose shorts he wears.

possibly they might be more interested in whose shirts he wears?

and after Cdr Hadfield, poor ol' tim has a tough act to follow.

I think Hoo might be trying to be too clever there - Tom is to Tim, as shirts is to shorts.

Has he taken his piriton polls?

as you were

Oh, please yourselves

(I'm glad SOMEbody got it...)

It's the best pun since the Barron Knights sang "Birth Control to Ginger Tom"

I've never been one to discourage cleverness.

You know what they say about the leopard!

I'm always bemused by the fact that leopard and leotard sound nothing like each other.

They do when I say them.

Do you say lee-o-pard or lettard?

I once had a brain freeze moment when I read leopard out loud as lee-o-pard, and I couldn't work out what the word meant. I think I'd just got so used to reading Leppard (as in Def) that I forgot what the proper spelling was.


Geggs

"lee-o-pard". In my head.

In the same way, I have certain other words that, in my head, sound "wrong".

"Anxiety" to me clearly has no "g" in it, can't possibly pack four syllables into only seven letters, and is therefore pronounced "ankh city".

"Misled" is not two definitely separate syllables and a single s in the middle of a word doesn't hiss, so it's pronounced "mizzled".

I have others, but these are the most common.