h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Land Securities, miners pull London higher"

What do you think this headline is about? (No googling)

Ben

I'd guess at something to do with the Stock Exchange.

Indeed. But I like the idea of miners floating over London in balloons, leaning out and grabbing hold of buildings with grappling hooks and raising the capital a couple of feet above sea-level.

B

I vaguely remember one like "Judges sit on Maid's Case"

But my favourite (and I once had a copy, now sadly lost) was in a Zimbabwe newsletter. The headline was "Banana Opens Parliament".

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My favourite has to be when Glasgow Celtic, the team of multi-millionaires led by John Barnes and Kenny Dalglish were beaten by lowly Inverness Caley Thistle - a part-time team of minor players. The headline?

Super Caley Go Ballistic, Celtic Are Atrocious


http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2010-06-21/mkEgwovlBrovEmjJxoanJDlDAIcBajeCkscrnCfvCqcaxdeceIzgIjdgFdyz/Super_Caley_go_ballistic_Celtic_are_atrocious.jpg.scaled500.jpg&imgrefurl=http://zo-au.com/super-caley-go-ballistic-celtic-are-atrocious&h=480&w=395&sz=79&tbnid=Oj4rjpkQue4wTM:&tbnh=129&tbnw=106&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dsuper%2Bcaley%2Bgo%2Bballistic%2Bceltic%2Bare%2Batrocious%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=super+caley+go+ballistic+celtic+are+atrocious&usg=__JNYFFJT4eaOpQK-Zj0DJh18WSYE=&sa=X&ei=thHUTYiLOubr0QH20Iz-Cw&ved=0CFMQ9QEwBg

"Foot Heads Arms Body" is a famous one. Michael Foot was made the chairman of a weapons committee.

Or one from Mad Magazine from the 60s: Vietnam/Korea era. "Guerillas on the Plain of Jars. This was illustrated with animal gorillas running over a flat landscape covered with glass jars.

I remember hearing about one that read: "Headless Body Found in Topless Bar"

I remember a particularly clever one about the closure of libraries in Essex

"Book lack in Ongar".

For some reason in Sweden missiles are called robots. Which leads to headlines like "Large robot attack on Bagdad", which to me conjures up images from the Terminator movie.

There was also the "Vandals attack goth club" headline. Though I guess some might not get that.

"Vandals attack goth club"

Rosie O*Donnell commented on her dislike of then-president George W. Bush because of his condemnation of same-sex marriages, just after her marriage to her long time female friend. The headline?

Rosie Marries Girlfriend, Slams Bush.

"Swindon Town confirm Paolo di Canio as new manager"


Oh. Oh wait.....