h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today is Father's day, hence the reason for my question.

From my experience, Dads get bad press, and I am as Guilty as anyone, having spent over 10 years making reparations and now my Dad is a friend I want to spend time with

My Dad thinks Father's Day is just a way of screwing out of us for nothing, and that Mother's Day, as she is the Bearing and Rearing person, is more important.

I have a number of choices that I have probably never mentioned to my father...

1) He gave me the opportunity to learn the violin... I hated it, and now it... A definite ... The best thing he ever did for me, and one I will be eternally grateful for.

2) He taught me how to answer questions similar to the 11th Plus, and I passed, went to Grammar School, and Higher Education...

3) I was able to go to Cub Scouts and Scouts...

4) He didn't stop me becoming a member of Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme... The Scouts did!

5) I was allowed to travel anywhere in the locality, without being heavily quizzed as to where I'd been.

6) As I grew older, the curfew was reduced if I was out dancing at Folk Clubs, and was particularly pleased if I ensured my Companion was escorted home safely, often with the assistance of the friend who was driving...

7) He taught me to ride a bike... And that made me a free person to go wherever I wanted... I will be forever in his debt...

8) Giving me the chance to perform in public, and reducing my fear of crowds... It hasn't come to full fruition, but I can now play in front of the public!

Maybe it is time for me to say thank you!!!!

So, Dad, Thank you... It is really appreciated, and you have given me an insight into human life!!!



MMF

so this isn't about what priests did to you as a kid? i shall go elsewhere for titillation then.

Being an Agnostic, and having seen the response to previous Faith-related threads, I couldn't possibly comment.

I was thinking of Biological or Surrogate Fathers, rather than members of the Cloth but, if they appertain to the question, they are certainly not excluded!!!

MMF

not trying to be funny, but is 'surrogate dad' a term in use? i've only heard it connection with lesbian couples starting families or infertile couples requiring donor sperm.

what's wrong with 'step dad' or 'father figure'?

not father's day in oz, so sorry i'm not running with the theme.

Apologies... I am uncertain as to what the current terminology is!

Being someone from a multi-fractured family, I do find it difficult to know the correct term, and I apologise far any upset caused...

I would never intentionally do that!



MMF

no, you were quite correct. i went away and read up on it and the term is perfectly sensible. sometimes the world is difficult to view accurately thru the prism of normality.

Just yesterday, dad came over and helped me come out of a panic/anxiety attack. Thanks, dad!

My dad had me and ar kid supporting Leeds, while the rest of the family are Man Utd fans. Great in 1992, not so great since...

An easier question to ask would be what my dad _didn't_ help me with. Yeah, there would definitely be a fair few things on that list, but it would be much shorter.

He provided the sperm.

Through my developing years, Dad was a figure to look up to with pride and respect. He worked hard 16 or more hours a day, usually 7 days a week. Self-employed as a plumber, heating and electrical contractor, and half a dozen other licenses. Each of us 4 boys had opportunity to work with and for him, learning skills and improvisation, adaptability to circumstances, and just how stuff works. Through him and because of him, there is no maintenance or repair in the home that I won't take on with confidence.

And yet he always found time for family supper (albeit late many times, waiting for him), church every Sunday, never missed a school 'do' for any of the 6 of us kids, a birthday, any special land-mark occassions. Having been Catholic, I often said that he placed somewhere between the Pope and God.

Well, in recent years, I have learned that he was no saint though he has the respect of everyone for miles. While he always dealt fairly and honestly with business and often to his own financial detriment, it seems he was less faithful in other ways. For a time, I was shaken to realize that he was indeed human, mortal. Now, with such activities and times being decades ago, I am again comforted to know that he provided an image to aspire to. And quite often, an image is as good as an idol or reality, eh? So as always, with anyone from about 50 miles around the home-place, I am still proud to be identified as "one of Joe's boys".

He sounds like quite a guy.

This is a tough question - my Dad's always been quite superficial. That old question about what's the most important thing in your life? For my dad it would be the weather, and the potatoes, as these were the main topics of dinner time conversation.

The cynic in me might say that he taught me that the lure of smoking, drinking and riding motorbikes never goes away. But I'll be gentle and say that he taught me that it's never too late to say sorry.

My dad hugged me twice - the only two times I remember being hugged by either parent.

He paid for my first two years of uni.

He bought me a scooter.

He told me to get the f**k out of his house.

He told me never to contact him again.

He contacted me after 9 months, and now acts like nothing happened.

He taught me not to rely on anyone else.

He taught me to question everything and not take anything at face value.To value family no matter what they say or do to disappoint you.

He had taught me a lot by his example by the time I was 13 which was when he died aged just 46 in 1966.

I had learned enough from him about standing on my own two feet to be able to stand on my own two feet and to be able to shoulder responsibilities for others.At 13 I found myself looking after my mother and taking over the jobs my father had done like decorating and putting up shelves and helping run the house while my mother went out to work.

Because of him I had the courage to try and aim for a better education and a better standard of living.

And some father's are good about the "tough love", eh? Mine did not order me out of the home when things got too bad, but hoped that I would be 'man enough' at 17 to know it was time. I did, and he has since told me that it was another of the few times he could say he truly felt 'pride' in me. Graduating military boot camp, and giving the country 21 years of my life was another bit that he thinks highly of.

He taught something else that just came to mind, as I admired a few paintings and ornamental things in my home. Know and appreciate nature ... With binoculars, he and I shared the regal attitude and raw beauty of a wolf, over half a mile away. And they are still my favourite beast that nature can produce.

Then, being pragmatic about things, he handed me the high-power rifle and told me how to aim, adapt for wind and distance, and kill it. One clean and true shot. The lone beast was tormenting a small herd of deer, and with the chasing, destroying a large field of corn ... A crop that was necessary to the successful annual income of the farmer.

My dad taught me the family mottos of "Brute force and Ignorance" and "The three Zees"

snooZe
booZe
donner kebabZ

He made me a bunk bed seven foot off the floor with no ladder after asking me how tall I intended to grow. Not sure if there was a message there or if he was just being daft.

He shaped a banana into a candle and made a wick out of a sliver of almond, lit it and brought it in on my birthday cake when I was little. He then devoured the candle off the top of the cake to the hilarity/pant wetting horror of my miniature peers.

And he made me an absolutely brilliant wooden copy of Rutger Hauer’s concealed samurai sword from the film Blind Fury that lead to me walking the streets with my eyes shut and smacking the snot out of anything I bumped into.

He bought me a copy of IK+ on a bet I couldn't eat an anchovy sandwich.

My dad taught me to say "Antidisestablishmentarianism" by the time I was 3 years old, set me up to chant said word to friends and relatives who rewarded me with nice shiney thrupenny bits for being so clever....

and then proceeded to take 50% as "agents fees"

Thus I was taught nothing in life is free, but then again, I learnedI should never pay more than it's worth

...eventually



He taught me that it's easier in the long run to work through problems rather than to avoid them, by doing the exact opposite in his own life.

And I learnt to believe in my dreams and go for them, by watching him slowly lose faith in himself and miss opportunities.

My dad taught me a lot without ever realising it. It wasn't so much "tough love" as ineffective love. But that doesn't matter, because I was more than a bit fond of him;

And he raised one hell of a daughter as a result

For the first 13 or so years of my life my dad's biggest and only contribution was half my DNA.

The only thing he ever taught me was when he visited me at 15 years old looking for some kind of solace emotional connection whne his mom died. I could offer neither as I didnt know her or him and felt very little for him or over his news. This taught me never to be detached fromt he ones who ought to mean a lot to me.

It is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned thought I dont think much of his teaching methods.

There's a bit in Anouilh's "Antigone" where Creon says "Growing up is seeing your father's face as it really is." - for me, that came far too early. He was never much of a father, far too immature and still is.

That said, he did teach me how to use everything in his workshop - he says he's always wanted daughters because there are enough boys who know how to use tools - but that's about it.

I still dread his weekly phone calls - the only reason I keep any contact with him is out of a sense of duty, especially since he's paying the legally required amount to help me through Uni...

*begins to ponder if weekly contact with his girl was bothersome *