h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hoo Yuuss Wot view

oh mister D.. mister D....
*jumps up and down and waves madly, making a holy show of herself, embarassing her bf and alienating her colleagues*

i miss ya.. i have that bag of ferrets, gallon of baby oil and a large cutlass, for next monday's festivities.... under the usual seat on the now rusty and in need of a bit of a service number 6 bus

i put it to you gentlemen that pirates should be allowed... hmmm?

Careful with that jumping Aye Be, you nearly knocked me over with the Zeds and I think WA is having a heart attack.

Do you have any useless pirate facts?

I think we already covered the fact that being flogged over a cannon was called "Kissing the Gunner's Daughter".

Anything new?

How bout this? The bones on the Jolly Roger are femurs.

The term Buccaneer was derived from the French 'Boucanier' which was a name given to various hunters and trappers who lived on the Carribean islands.

Nice!

i have loads of useless pirate facts
there was this one time.. on a frigate we helped ourselves to at southampton (i know i know.. not all pirates can lead the jolly-sun-drenched-carribean-coast type life)..
anyway frigate was manned by some particularly useless pirates..
they didn't know any pirate speak, they refused to use a cutlass, or feed the ferrets, cos it was against their religion and they sniggered everytime i yelled poop deck,,,,, i ad to 'ack 'em's 'eds off..

having a masters degree in piratology meself you can only imagines me frustration me hearties....

I know where pirates keep their buccaneers...

On either side of their buccan heads?

Yea... there under their buccan hats.!

Pirates had a coin forged into an earing to pay the ferryman on the Styx in the event of them drowning.

Pirates (and most other mariners of the day) rarely learned to swim... They didn't want to. They felt it was better to drown quickly than try and tread water with no chance of rescue.

Why are pirates called pirates?

RF

The Phrase ''shiver me timbers'' was invented by a double peg legged arctic pirate ... did ye know that did ye, ye lilly libbered land lubbers.......

-Did you know that the last words of Oscar Wilde were "Either that wallpaper goes, or i do."-
i did not know that...i liike!
now i wonder about the definition of useless: that which has no use[my own def]
having no beneficial use or incapable of functioning usefully; "a kitchen full of useless gadgets"; "she is useless in an emergency"
not useful; "a curiously unhelpful and useless manual"
[wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn]
...hmm

It's from the Greek "peirates", from peirein ‘to attempt, attack’.

thought everyone knew that......

It's from a German Doctor Joe Pilates who got fed up doing yogurt exercises and ran away to sea. Because he was dead supple he could swing through the rigging shouting [Cue Aye Bee] - 'I'm Pilates, aarrgh me heart burn' or something like that.

But because the wind was blowing the passengers on the deck thought he said 'I'm a Pirate me hearties'. And so the myth was born.

passengers on deck????



you see there you go.. nobody believes they are fully qualified pirates... bludy useless

i'm glad i am not the only one believes that yoghurt gives you 'artburn

gimmie quart o rum any day...(wipes back of hand across mouth and lets out long harrrrrrr)

*Wonders if anybody at w**k will bring one of those crappy fancy dress pirate hats in on Monday. Wondering if I should show them all up by bringing in my £50 proper wool felt tri-corn.*

A proper woll tri-corn just aint proper unless it's felt I say!!!!