A Conversation for Ask h2g2
Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster
Just zis Guy, you know? † Cyclist [A690572] :: At the 51st centile of ursine intelligence Posted Sep 24, 2001
A crap story in a crap paper, butmost memorable headline I ever saw.
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Wand'rin star Posted Sep 25, 2001
I have been patiently waiting for someone to post the one that ends" ......flies back to front" as I am unable to remember the subject. Thanx 
Urban myth one....
Is mise Duncan Posted Sep 25, 2001
A story about a mentally disturbed conman who absconded after being charged with defrauding his local dry cleaners:
"Nut screws washers and bolts"
Urban myth one....
Rainbow Posted Sep 25, 2001
Apparently the Sun is running a heaDline today about a bull-fighter who was speared by the bull in rather an unfortunate place, the headline read "MAN GORED IN RING" - no points for guessing where the bull's horn went!! 
Urban myth one....
Santragenius V Posted Sep 25, 2001
I have heard that this one either is a journalistic myth or at least have been improved on along the way. Even so, I think the story of the consequences of a severe storm in the Channel described in an English newspaper with a rather large type on the front page like this:
STORM IN THE CHANNEL - EUROPE ISOLATED
is quite good... 
Chestnut
Pink Paisley Posted Sep 25, 2001
I have mentioned this one in another thread but here goes anyway. First a small geography lesson. On the Hertfordshire / Essex Border (UK) there are two small villages one called Ugley the other Nasty. OK? A local paper is supposed to have reported:-
NASTY MAN MARRIES UGLEY WOMAN.
PP
headlines
Beth Posted Sep 26, 2001
I believe there was one perhaps in the Marcos era -
'Out! Damn Despot.'
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Zero Irregardless Posted Sep 26, 2001
It's widely thought that the best headline in a US tabloid (the New York Post in this case) was: "Headless Torso in Topless Bar".
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Solsbury Posted Sep 26, 2001
The one that springs to my mind is the "If this person wins the election, will the last person to leave the country turn out the light"
I can't remember who the this person was or which paper but think it was possibly the sun.
Anyone else remember this one?
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Orcus Posted Sep 26, 2001
It was the Sun and it was If Labour Win the Election...
Not one of my faves, this was us condemned to another few years of John Major...
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Solsbury Posted Sep 26, 2001
Then we got an even better set of tories than the tories...
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Abi Posted Sep 26, 2001
My fave has to be the one in NME (or was it Melody Maker) about Shed 7's lead singer turning up for a gig and finding he was in completely the wrong part of the country. The headline?
"You can't get s*****r than a thick Rick Witter!"
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Sep 26, 2001
Headlines are funny because they are created by sub-editors, not by the authors of the articles. The sub-editors have an on-going competition to see who can create the cleverest headline, as well as the most boring. One from the New Scientist: "Volcano erupted on the Moon 50,000 years ago". Talk about News!
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Uncle Heavy [sic] Posted Sep 27, 2001
the best hgeadline never written:
new Man U dutch signing hit by a cake:
CRUDE FLAN-MISSILE PLOY
Urban myth one....
Just zis Guy, you know? † Cyclist [A690572] :: At the 51st centile of ursine intelligence Posted Sep 28, 2001
I thought it was "fog in channel, Continent cut off" - same idea. Reportedly the Telegraph.
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Coquetexile Posted Sep 28, 2001
TARA RAW BUM DISPLAY, The Sun I think when Tara Palmer Tompkinson flashed her behind whislt getting changed beneath a towel on a chilly English beach.
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
Tube - the being being back for the time being Posted Sep 29, 2001
YOUR DNA BORES ME
F.A.Z., this Friday.
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
~ jwf ~ scribblo ergo sum Posted Sep 30, 2001
MAYOR TO HOLD PUBIC HEARING
-Saint John (NB) Telegraph
1963
jwf
What was the best newspaper headline ever!
GreyDesk Posted Oct 3, 2001
My favourite is the Guardian's headline after the libel case it was defending against Neil Hamilton collapsed, when it was shown that Hamilton really was the scumbag that they had said he was:
A LIAR AND A CHEAT
I remember the whole of the first 5 pages of the paper were full of the story. The front cover was this banner headline (suprising as the Guardian doesn't really go in for banners) and a large photograph of Hamilton looking like the shifty lying b*****d that he is
Key: Complain about this post
Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster
- 21: Just zis Guy, you know? † Cyclist [A690572] :: At the 51st centile of ursine intelligence (Sep 24, 2001)
- 22: Wand'rin star (Sep 25, 2001)
- 23: Is mise Duncan (Sep 25, 2001)
- 24: Rainbow (Sep 25, 2001)
- 25: Santragenius V (Sep 25, 2001)
- 26: Pink Paisley (Sep 25, 2001)
- 27: Beth (Sep 26, 2001)
- 28: Zero Irregardless (Sep 26, 2001)
- 29: Solsbury (Sep 26, 2001)
- 30: Orcus (Sep 26, 2001)
- 31: Solsbury (Sep 26, 2001)
- 32: Abi (Sep 26, 2001)
- 33: Orcus (Sep 26, 2001)
- 34: Gnomon - time to move on (Sep 26, 2001)
- 35: Uncle Heavy [sic] (Sep 27, 2001)
- 36: Just zis Guy, you know? † Cyclist [A690572] :: At the 51st centile of ursine intelligence (Sep 28, 2001)
- 37: Coquetexile (Sep 28, 2001)
- 38: Tube - the being being back for the time being (Sep 29, 2001)
- 39: ~ jwf ~ scribblo ergo sum (Sep 30, 2001)
- 40: GreyDesk (Oct 3, 2001)
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