h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But imagine you`ve finnaly gotten yourself all psyched up. You`ve summoned the courage and told yourself you can do it. Then you go over to a girl:

Hi
Hi
How are you doing?
What the hell is wrong with you, you`re so skinny!?!

And then it takes a while before you can get yourself to repeat that.

"Im so skinny, god, thank you so very much for pointing that out to me, i never would have noticed unless you had said that. Why are you such a stuck up bitch!" then you walk off, head held high, and all her mates look at her and say, god you shouldnt say things like that, thats awful..... and you go onto the next, with your head-held high. I would never, ever talk to any one like that in my life, and i will think you will find that not many girls do, they only ever get rude if someone pushes the issue way too much

You just won't be told will you?

You are gorgeous hon You really are! You spend so long doing yourself down that I was surprised to see how lovely you really are.

I think it is about time to try the law of averages - ask out enough girls and one of them will say yes. If you don't ask any then don't be surprised if nobody says anything. Come on man, all those lovely irish girls around you - get out there and do some chatting up! If a girl says something bad about how you look then forget her, she excluded herself from your list and doesn't deserve you.

On the other hand if she just comments that you are thin (without being nasty) then give her a grin and tell her that in that case she had better cook you something hearty for breakfast

Now if you follow what Kellie has said, you will prob make the girl laugh! Which remember is the key, and if you are in Ireland, then isnt everyone "up for the craic"

Kelli has hit the nail on the head.

Any place you go where there are women some of them will fancy you.

Some men will go to all the trouble of finding out which ones are available then try to pull those few women who fancy them. This requires very accurate market research on the mans part. If he gets it wrong he can spend time trying to chat up someone sho isnt interested or isnt available. When he gets the message he moves on to the next woman who if she does fancy him wont go for him now because she been watching him all night and now feels like second choice.

This is the method of the confident and desperate.

I prefer the peacock method. Dazzle everyone talk sport to anyone, show magic tricks to adults, discuss anything with women, ask children how their day went. (The whole idea that you pull in pubs and clubs is b*ll*cks, you are more attractive in everyday life but without the alcohol people can feel too repressed to say what they want.) If you are a person who is seen as someone people can talk to and not a "sexual predator" women will feel comfortable telling you how they feel about you. Most women Ive had relationships with have approached me to tell me what they want.

Dont stop being optimistic, like you most people want someone to talk to and share good times with. They are looking for someone who is friendly and nice.

If you go out on the pull assessing people by the way they look and the perfume they wear you are likely to find women who asess people in the same way is that all you want?

Hmmm, I`ll remember that breakfast comment for next time I go out

It is a good one!

I`ll probably go out tonight and attempt to chat up some girls. So go on, tell me I`m wonderful

I am remorseful, and ashamed. I've said and done things that are very wrong. Though this thread has turned to helping people end their lonliness, it was begun out of prurience and shameful motives. The person I posted about in the early pages of this conversation has become very dear to me, and I have treated her very badly, including posting inappropriate comments on the internet. I'm trying to remedy things now but it seems I have grown a conscience too late. Please don't think what I posted was cool. It was cruel and insensitive. It has created a damage that cannot be undone, and the editors refuse to remove the posts.
I'm not a dirty old man. Most of the stories I posted were made up, but when real things happened I posted those too, and I was very, very wrong to.
Men: don't treat women badly. Don't attempt to be with many at one time, don't say insensitive things about them to your friends or strangers on the net, don't show off. Be kind and respectful always. If you're in a serious relationship, treat her right.
Women: if you care about a man, tell him. If he's hurting you, tell him. Make him stop. If he really cares about you, he'll stop. Love each other.
Now please excuse me. I have to attempt to save my relationship with the woman I love.

Well, I don`t quite know what to say to that. But I certainly hope things will work out for you and the nice, friendly girl you`ve found. I don`t see the things you`ve written on here as being awful though.

Good luck Corinth and it's nice to hear from you again, and see that you're attempting to be a nice friendly guy


I've discovered something, and I think it's helped me understand Xan's constant self-doubt more...

I've said before, that I got overy shyness by assuming nobody would fancy me, which made it easier to talk to everybody. The main reason I assumed nobody would fancy me is because I was fat. Now I'm losing weight, and have lost enough to see myself as a tiny bit possibly attractive, so I thought I might get more interest at a party at the weekend, which made me shy (and consequently less talkative) again. Still no luck. I still haven't got any interest, but I haven't got the 'fat' excuse to blame it on. So I've got to find another way to get back to my old outgoing self, as that's what attracted friends more than anything.

I guess what I'm saying is, that for Xan, you blame things on your skinniness (just remembered - I had a Xan last night, but he had longer hair! ), but even if you were to bulk up, it wouldn't really make a lot of difference. You (and me) have just gotta realise our fantastic-ness, and not concentrate on what we see as our bad points.

True even though I want to lose weight for the start of the season, Liz likes my "love cushion".

We dont have ant way of knowing the things that others will find attractive about us. Some may be easy to guess but a lot of them will blow you away. One ex said she liked my hands and hairy back amongst other things.

just re-read my post and the bit where I said "I had a Xan last night" should've read "I had a dream about Xan last night".. which isn't much better

Confidence is a whole big part of it. People can read confidence straight off, and as they say, 'Confidence attracts...'

Confidence, something I too am severly lacking in as I have said before.
The real problem with it? It appears to me that confidence is lieing about yourself to yourself and believing it. I know there are degrees of confidence rating from none to egomania. But those who get places seem very assured of themselves and that they are right. Not necessarily objectively right, but certainly subjectively right. They believe that what they are doing is the best thing to be done, or if not then there are very good reasons for it. They believe they are a good person, a worthwhile person with something to contribute. Now I can, and do, only speak for myself. But I know me, better than any of you know me, better than anyone I know knows me, because I am me. But I don;t know who me is. I know all my faults, my foibles, my nasty or less than decent thoughts and actions. Places where I could have helped but didn;t, people I snapped at when I could have said nothing. I know all those things, so I know I am not a nice decent person when all is taken into account. I can be nice, i usually try to be, but I guess I just don;t meet my own high standards, which obviously i only apply to myself.
?And to believe in myself, to say 'i am worth this' or 'I am a person that people would fancy' is very difficult, because I value honesty.
Now I know people have different facets and personailities. And the person I am when in a couple / with a person I love is different to who I am when around people I dislike. But still, it is very hard to accept, not ignore, the negative side of my personality, which we all have. I suppose I'll now get to told to concentrate on the positive sides and balance those to the negative to find the overall picture. I do try, but it is hard for me to do. After all, if i compliment myself on doing something good, am I doing it because it is real, or is it just an ego boost based on a perception which could be wrong?

There, bit of soul baring for a monday. Sure won't pull off this site now! Even if I am a Xan with long hair Q

But Icky, most people are just the same. Some are much much worse.
And everyone has different preferences so no matter what you're like there is someone out there looking for someone exactly like you.

In fact there are thousands of people out there looking for someone exactly like you. The trick is getting to know them, which, unless you're very lucky, you probably won't do without getting to know a lot of other people first. You have to kiss an awful lot of toads before you find the prince(ss).

Would those be the toads that secrete the mind altering chemicals from their skin?

where?

That's what I'd write if I was better at writing wot I thort

Confidence isn't lying about yourself to yourself, it is about realising you ain't so bad, and there's certainly not many people better, or worse than you are. Then again, with certain people, it is about lying to yourself. People who are very assured of themselves are generally more fragile underneath. You know, the people who are really really good people - super charitible types etc., just have that easy going sort of confidence, rather than the brash sort.

I try to judge myself objectively, honestly. But it's still difficult, even if I think I'm doing good, because I think 'who says I'm right to judge'? Similarly as Ictoan said about his ego boost.

I've thought 'would I fancy me', and a lot of the time I think probably not. So I think I shouldn't be so fussy (I keep holding out for a nice friendly good guy rather than take whatever shows an interest, hence long periods of singledom), because I ain't so great. But who's to judge?

Why are we so down on ourselves? I thought this the other day. I'm generally a good person - I judge this because I always try not to hurt anybody. But somebody (female, not male) I work with said "ooh I've got your number now, we'll have to go out for a drink" and I said yeah sure, but was genuinely surprised that somebody wanted to go out and do something with me. I think 'why would they want to do that? This is me we're talking about here.'

As I said, before I used being fat as an excuse. Now I'm planning to right any past wrongs that I can, to see if that helps. Just trying to practically find out why I'm so suprised people want to be my friend. Seems

My chances of pulling on-site now equal Ictoans

(Previous post is regarding Icky's long post - 3255 - forget people post while I'm writing my essays )