h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's on a man's mind- know that picture?

Mad Sash, I have to ask - was it a hand written essay, or could you pretend it was a spell-check error on your PC?

Mind you, pretending it was a spell-check error would actually just be digging the hole deeper, wouldn't it?

Read the backlog; this is one of the most entertaining threads on h2.

B

Last September I visited my sister in Washington DC when she was staying there to write her thesis. She was staying at a private residence about five minutes from the Capitol. I arrived, put my bag in her room and went straight to the White House (to say Hi to Dubya and tell him to get his act straight). Stayed roaming around Capitol Hill for a couple of hours. Then, at around five o'clock, went back. Remembered on the way I had forgotten her house number. No problem, I thought, I still knew the street and remembered that it was a beautiful Victorian building she was living in. Got there to see rows and rows of beautiful Victorian buildings. No problem, I said to myself, just call her. Looking for my phone book, I realized that I had left it in my bag. Got a little worried at that point. Went from house to house trying to figure out which one it was. The hours passed by and it was getting dark. Started to wonder how safe this area was. Started asking people (just imagine this: "Err, sir...? Do you know of a private residence where they rent out rooms? You see, I'm staying there, I just forgot the adress....")
Finally, to add insult to injury, it started to rain. Except it doesn't rain in Washington. Oh no. In Washington, it does what I've taken to referring to as "pooling" from then on. I was soaked to the skin within a minute.
Finally went past a house I had got to know really well during the last few hours, and saw someone standing in the doorway giving me funny looks. Didn't have much of a choice, so I went over and asked him the same old stupid question. Wasn't able to help me but asked me in. Saved!! Called my mum to give me the exact adress (she was laughing her head off!). Turned out the house was just around the corner, but as it was still raining, they made me stay. Gave me some old clothes and put my wet ones in the dryer. Turned out to be a lot of fun after all. Very friendly people, threw an instantaneous party. Guess how many times I had to listen to stupid jokes (had to laugh pretty hard myself, though)!!
Embarassing?! Wait for this!
All this time I was wondering why one woman would live with three men. "Boy, you have it made, don't you?", I thought. When it hit me. And then one of them tried to ask me out on a date.

(We did go out later on and had lots of fun, but not before I had cleared things up a bit!)

I can't remember if I posted thi sone but here goes ....

I was once trying to get down from Aberdeen to Manchester and there was an airport strike on so I was forcedto travel by British Rai;l instead of flying. BR booked me on a train that went Aberdeen->Dundee->Edinburgh->Carlisle->Crewe->Manchester. I had to change stations at Edinnburgh and trains at Carlisle and Crewe which made it a bit of a tortuous journey but I was really looking forward to going over the forth rail bridge for the first time.

True to form I fell asleep about 5 minutes out of Aberdeen and was still asleep when the train pulled into Dundee so I neverheardthe announcement that it was only the front half of the train thatwas going onto Edinburgh.

Soundly asleep on the rear half of the train I eventually arrived in Glasgow thinking that I was in Edinburgh and 30 minutes late to boot. I ran out of central Station in Gloasgow (conveniently marked Central station not "Glasgow central Station") and jumped into a cab and asked to go to Waverly Station (I windered why the cabbie looked so happy). As we were driving along it slowly dawned on me that Edinburgh had either changed a lot or something was amiss. I eventually had to ask the cab driver probably the stupidest question he'd ever heard ... "excuse me but what city am I in".

Still embarrassed to this day

Ask me about my friends glasses one day

Hey RedDog, When are you going to tell us about your friend's glasses?

ok trains.....

wnet to the metro centre from durham.

about 15 miles by train with one change.

easy........


not with me a long.


first we got on the train going to other way and ended up in darlington. the guard thought we were dumba and let us not pay.

we then got away with going on the right train and also not paying.

then after we got to the metro centre and did our shopping we tried to go home.

got on the right train and everything.

only the door wouldnt open pn durham station so we ended up ..........yes! darlington again. this time at about ten o clock at night. same guard was there.

laughed at us this time. let us get off without paying!
we managed the next train alright, which was good because it was the last one. got home jumped in a taxi and made it to the bar before last orders.

so let this be a lesson to you

never go to the metro centre


FABT

Ok Ok Ok ... I'll tell you about my friends glasses .

Up in Manchester for a weekend of fun and frolics with a friend from Uni. On the Saturday we're off to watch my pal and his elder brother play Rugby in Preston. We set off in his brothers car (with my pal in the back) a little bit late - so we're in a bit of a hurry.

Travelling up the M61 we get stuck on a section of dual carriageway for several miles behind a slowish driver (only doing 70 mph) in the outside lane. After a few minutes of honking and flashing and steadily rising tempers our driver decides to undertake and as we start the manouver my pal from the back seat says slow down a mo' when you get alongside him and I'll give him a piece of my mind.

We duly get alongside and my pal winds down the window, sticks his head out for a moment, says nothing, pulls his head back in, winds the window back up and settles back in his seat.

We from the front looked at him and asked why he didn't say anything to which my pal replied, "well, when I stuck my head out of the car the wind blew my new glasses off" then added "I suppose it's out of the question going back for them".

We were still laughing coming back from the game

Hey Red Dog. In the first post on this thread, you alluded to an embarassing incident, but never told the story. So, what was that all about?

"All this time I was wondering why one woman would live with three men. "Boy, you have it made, don't you?", I thought. When it hit me. And then one of them tried to ask me out on a date."

Am I being particularly dense here? What is the problem with one woman living with three men? I lived with 5 of the rascals before I got my own place! And I certainly didn't have it made, unless you mean I had ample opportunity to constantly clean the bathroom and do the washing up...

k

Yes, Red Dog, tell us!

Thanks for asking that particular question Kelli; I have shared with women and men, gays and straights, ex's and future's, and currently with a member of BA's ground crew, four purebred British cats and their cranky but kind-hearted owner.

Neatest house? Owned by one of the gays.

Dirtiest house? Rented by me, with a coal-fired stove and 3 women's worldly posessions (too much clutter, too much dust).

Most bizaare situation? Not posting that - not even here. Mind you getting French porn with Swedish subtitles was pretty bizzare.

Most fun? Ditto.

Worst situation? Sharing with a high maintenance and extremely ill Swedish friend.

So can someone explain the comment about sharing with guys for the dumbo in the corner here?

Thanks

Ben

Ben, I can't help you on that, but I know that the neatest men get cluttery once they're allowed, and nothing can help that, but yelling at them.
Sharing with other women, for a messy person like me, was always a night mare. My good will gestures of tidying up were never noticed as the general mess that was there to cause them.

fK and agcB -

the reason why the fact that three men and one woman were living together seemed a little strange to me is that I'm a reactionary ol' bas$#*d.
No, the real reason is that the entire area seemed like the average cleaned-up, sterile, boring middle-class neighbourhood where you wouldn't expect to find anything but sterile (literally), boring husbands and wives + kid.

That was before I found out that Capitol Hill is in fact Washington's premier gay quarter!

..... and back to all things embarrssing .

My original posting on the subject was provoked by the temporary loan of my mobile phone to my boss. We were in Darwin for a few days meeting with a local land council on native title issues and I was due to go onto East Timor for a few days (where mobile service is poor to say the least).

My boss's phone went u/s on the trip and he asked to borrow mine whilst I was out of the country which I did without too much thought.

When I got back to Perth and saw him to retrieve my phone a text message had been sent to me from an old friend of mine which my boss had seen as he had my phone. The message read :-

QUOTE

Hey Red, Aussie Police said that a badly burnt body had been found in Perth that could only be identified by it's undersized brain and penis and I just wanted to check that you were OK ? Bob.

UNQUOTE

Did wonders for my career and prospects that one !

So you are ok, RD, ain't ya?

I survived and prospered Elly. Merely added yet another story to my already creaking professional reputation

well i just found out two of my superiors went to the same school as my dad and one of them spent the whole time in detention
fotunatley my dad had left by the time they got there
FABT

Hmm... well, not as interesting as some of these, but...

Having gone to the same school for three years, no trouble, one day I walked most of the way there before realising I didn't have my school bag with me.

Rather sheepish, I turned around and headed home, to slightly odd looks from the people walking near me.

On arriving home, rather worried that I was going to be late, I remembered that my sister had borrowed my house key the day before.

So I waited for my kindly mother to get home, let me in to retrieve my bag, and drive me to school to be late for pretty much the only time ever... and to explain why, which was fun

I think it does us all good to look utterly stupid once in a while

This is a lovely thread, by the way... I stayed up far too late last night reading the backlog

26199

My most embarassing moment goes something like this.

When I was 16 I was involved with a woman a few (15) years older than me, my parents had no idea what was going on at the time, and just knew her as my friend. One day I was out shopping with my dad, and ran in to her and her teenaged (14) son in the supermarket. My Dad then proceeding to spend the rest of the shopping trip flirtly with her.

Because her son was around she couldn't say she was bisexual and for some strange reason she thought being rude would have offeneded me so she just spent around 20 minutes politely smiling.