h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My troops' uniforms would be fairly light, comfortable, durable, and easily washable. Women would not be required to wear a stainless steel bustier, and nobody would be allowed to wear high heals while on duty. Women can perform incredible acts in high heals, so imagine what they'd be like with sneakers!

All uniforms will be custom tailored for each employee to make it harder for the hero to steal one. For the same reason, helmets will have clear plexigalss visors, not face-concealing ones.

Good thinking. Also, if your minions were allowed - encouraged - to take really long, relaxed breaks, they would all know each other well enough not to need security name tags, which, as everyone knows, are easy to steal or replicate.

Is all that ease, comfort and informality really conducive to the machinations of evil though, I wonder?

What you need is Daleks, those things are stupid enough to have a look whenever they hear a sound and it takes about twenty people to hop on it and disable it, however I'd have normal people guarding the stairwells...

Mine would be custom-made by in-house tailors and would fit perfectly (no more pesky secret agents wearing 'one size fits all' uniforms). Additionally, they would contain an RFID chip allowing easy tracking of movements. This chip would also contain a full facial map, DNA fingerprint, and retina pattern. Cameras mounted above all key doorways would be able to easily spot if the person going through was wearing the right uniform, or even if the person going through was wearing no uniform.

What about colors? Do the suprivisors get their own special hue? And lets use some imagination. Black? Overdone. Camo? We're not hiding from each other. I favor an eye popping neon green. Shows up in the dark to preclude stealth by adversaries{or ladder climbing associates} and just smacks of lively activity.

I prefer a moderately dark blue. Interior guards would wear that. Exterior guards would wear relevant camoflage. Scientists would wear white lab coats at all times, as would everyone else while in a lab. Technicians would wear grey, engineers and architects wear sand yellow. Elite guards wear red, plus any medals they have earned and a relevant belt(s) of whatever martial art(s) they have studied.

I would wear bright and cheerful colours in order to throw off any heros that somehow manage to break through.

Then as your adversary, I would just shoot anyone resembeling Elton John! But not of coarse the real E.J., although I can think of some truely nasty things for those elevator muzac buggers, talk about mind nunbing noise.