This is the Message Centre for Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 241

Reality Manipulator


1) Thou shalt worship Stargate and only Stargate
2) Thou shalt drink coffee and go fishing
3) Thou shalt read Stargate fanfiction
4) Thou shalt cometh to every Stargate convention
5) Thou shalt buy Stargate merchandise
6) Thou shalt remember Stargate and keep it holy
7) Thou shalt not steal Rodney's energy bars
8) Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: The System Lords are your Gods!
9) Thou shalt talk to your socks about Stargate
10) Thou shalt cometh to my website everyday, and recommendeth to your friends


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 242

Reality Manipulator

The Top 5 Complaints by Real Aliens About Earthling Science Fiction
5. Oh sure, Kirk talks a computer to death in five minutes, never thinking about the long hours in therapy our computers will have to spend getting over it.

4. Every alien larva knows that reconfiguring the solar matrix for endothermic propulsion only works if you initiate an inverse tachyon pulse from the main deflector dish *AND* push the little blue button. What are you Earthlings *thinking*?!?

3. Quickly transversing the universe through hyperspace? Please. With rush hour, you're looking at a good eon just to get to Proxima Centauri.

2. You people say "tentacled alien overlords" like it's some kind of a bad thing.

and the Number 1 Complaint by Real Aliens
About Earthling Science Fiction...

1. Our females would not, under any circumstances, to have smiley - loveblush with Kirk.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 243

Reality Manipulator


How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to change the bulb, and the other nine to attest that he did it with honour.

How many Borg does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Lightbulbs are irrelevant.

Why didn't the Borg assimilate Dumbo?
Because Dumbo is an elephant.

How many romulans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to screw in the lightbulb one to kill him and take the credit


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 244

Reality Manipulator

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Stargate jokes

Goa'uld: To worship its true god.

Tok'ra: Its crystal tunnel caved in.

Jaffa: Chicken, kree!!

Rodney: Does this chicken have lemon on it?

Carter: The wormhole passed by a quasar precisely at the height of its luminosity which absorbed latent radiation that was transferred through to the Stargate. The radiation somehow affected the thyroid gland of the chicken causing its metabolic rate to greatly increase. Soil samples taken from the far side of the road indicate that..
Jack: Carter!
Carter: It was hungry, sir.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 245

Reality Manipulator

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Star Trek anawers

Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.

Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.

Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.

Worf: I don't know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!

Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.

Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)

Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.

Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.

Quark: Who, me?

Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...

Kirk: You chicken smiley - grr, you killed my son...YOU chicken smiley - grr, you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN smiley - grrd....you killed my...son!

Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!

Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

Bones: Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!

Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal trans
perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.

Dr. Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to
mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.

The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.

Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!

B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the smiley - grr regulations of smiley - grr Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!

Picard: There are four lights!

Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.

Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?

Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?

Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time..did I scream this time?

Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...

Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission.

Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.

Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.

Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.

Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!

Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!

Spock: Fascinating, Captain.

V'Ger: To join with the Creator.

The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!

Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.

Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!

O'Brien: No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.

Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...

Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this?

Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport!

Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.

Sulu: Don't call me Tiny!

Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.

Mr. Homn:

Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue,and then there's...

Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 246

Reality Manipulator

Why did the Chicken cross the road?
X-Men answers

Alistair:
"The chicken crossed the road? What type of equipment did it use? Where's my computer?"" "It's not a chicken... it's a Black Air spy! We're all gonna die!"

Apocalypse:
"The chicken survived crossing the road? It is one of the strong."

Bishop:
"The chicken crossed Greymalkin Lane. I perceived it as a threat to security, so I eliminated it."

Blackbolt:
"..."

Blaquesmith:
"It is ever the way of chickens to criss the roads, Askani'son. What is, is." "I hope it has decided on a chronicler to record its mission for the future." "You must cross the road with the chicken, young Dayspring. It is your mission."

Brian Braddock:
"I wish I could drink now."

Caliban:
"Chicken-friend saw Patcheye and Cable-Nathan chasing it with big guns."

Cable: "Damn militant Askanis." "In the future, there are no chickens. I'm here to prevent that future from
happening... " "The chicken crossed the road? Stab its eyes! I must not let it distract me from my mission!"

Luke Cage:
Sweet Christmas! That's one big-ass chicken!

Sean Cassidy:
"I'll have some old Interpol connections check it out, but sources point to Cable." "Are ye daft, woman? Lettin' a wee chicken out int' th' street? It's but a chick, ye know!"

Terry Cassidy:
"Och! The puir wee thing! All the way across that road!"

Colossus:
"That chicken has stolen the heart of my Katya! "

Grayon Creed:
"My FATHER was a chicken? JOIN ME, to destroy the evil that is POULTRY!"

Roberto DaCosta:
"The chicken made it across MY road? Droga!" "Chick? A chick crossed the road? Was she cute?" *flares the bird* "Chicken barbecue!"

Lorna Dane:
"Oh, shut up, Alex. Wait, does chicken make me look fat after eating it?"

Dana Danton:
"That isn't the problem. My problem is that I've formed an emphathetic bond with the chicken and can't separate myself from it."
"Oh my God! It crossed the road? Is it hurt? Do I need to heal it!? SAM!!! Why did you let it cross the road!? "

Emily Danton:
"In my culture, the chicken would be married to Dresden, since Dresden is currently chewing on it."

Deadpool:
"Why did the smiley - weird chicken cross the road? Do I look like I give a smiley - huh"

"Hmm...haven't seen a rabbit lately. Think Terry'd like a lucky CHICKENS foot."

Domino:
"It was a flonqing chicken. Who really CARES?"
"Oh, and I'll take a drumstick." "Musta seen Guthrie and relaised the Fowl-Exchange program wasn't gonna save it's little neck after all." "Nate, the chicken's crossing the road. Nate! Are you listening to me?" "The chicken just happened to go my way."

Emplate:
"Welcome to the other side, chicken. Now DIE! Let me rephrase that. First, provide me with the genetic marrow I need to survive, _then_ die!"

Angelo Espinosa:
"In the barrio, we didn't HAVE chickems. You ever see a chicken cross a road in crossfire?"

Exodus:
"To seek the sanctuary of Magneto."

Forge:
"In the future, chickens will not have to cross the road. I'll build them a chicken transport to make crossing the road unnecessary..."

Emma Frost:
"I have no idea. I'm just glad I didn't invest in eggs." "Why?" *deep breath* "To get to" *arch back* "the other" *breathy voice*
"siiiiiiide....."

Jean Grey:
Did it die?...Did it come back to life?...Oh, Scott! Its the 3rd Summers brother!!

Grizzly:
".....Yup...."

Paige Guthrie:
"WAIT! Let me find my animal husbandry book. If I can understand the chicken's body structure, then it will make me a better leader."
"The chicken crossed the road and made it to the big leagues. Just like my brother. I want to cross the road someday too... "
"WAIT A MINUTE. GIVE ME A SECOND. I know I have a book on chicken behaviour here somewhere...my room's just messy cause I study so much."

Sam Guthrie:
"Well, being from Kentucky, I'll have to go with KFC on a matter of state pride." "Ah kinda smashed into that there chicken but Ah'm okay 'cause Ah'm invulnerable when Ah'm blasting." "Th' chicken done crossed th' road? Ah'll never make it as an X-Man!!!"

Hammer:
"I REFUSE to be half-chicken and half-man, like Cable."

Hulk:
"HULK SMASH PUNY CHICKEN!!"

Stevie Hunter:
"I don't know, but it wasn't very graceful, so I'm bringing it back over to this side and making it cross again..."

Iceman:
"I froze its tail. If EMMA was doing it, she could have frozen the whole thing." "It wasn't a real chicken... I just made an ice chicken and pushed it across the road as a practical joke. Pretty funny, huh? smiley - smiley"

Joseph:
"What's a chicken?"

Jubliee:
"I don't know nothing about eggs and bubble gum in Emma's closet."
"Like, when I was with the X-Men, like, a chicken crossed the road..."

Remy LeBeau:
*hiding hands behind back* "Chicken? Remy didn't see no chicken, chere!" "De chicken? It good in gumbo, dat's all Remy knows..."
"I cannot tell a lie, chere. Gambit last saw de chicken wit' Sinister." "Rogue killed the chicken as it was crossing the road!! Someone teach her how to drive right!!!"

Leech:
"Leech no want the birdie to go away ...Leech needs a pet, Leech does." "Leech and Artie had chicken last week. Leech likes chicken."

Logan:
"Because he was the best he was at what he did." "Who ordered the chicken nuggets, bub?" "It probably stole the stick that Cyke had and didn't want to cross Xavier."

Moira MacTaggart:
"Och, the chicken crossed the road because..." Pete: "It crossed the road to get away from her BLOODY COFFEE!! What else could it be?"

Maggott:
"Chicken, ag? Hey, girls! Kos!"

Marrow:
"Who CARES about the chicken? It was one of the pretty ones. I'm more worried about the turkey."

Hank McCoy:
"The flightless avian? I have no idea why it would attempt to cross a major traffic stream. Have you tried the internet?"
"The bipedal avian appears to have successfuly circumnavigated the local path of motor vehicles. Oh my stars and garters..."

Meggan:
"Brian! Look at the widdle chickens! Hewwo cute widdle chickens! Yes you are cute widdle chicken! Yes you are!" "I don't know why it crossed the road, but it's already got more personality
than I do..."

Mystique:
"I once had smiley - loveblush with a chicken. But I lost the chicks in birth...maybe they're with another X-team."

Nightcrawler:
"To get to the... why yes, fraulein. My tail is real. Why do you ask?"

Onslaught:
"-BEHOLD MY MIGHTY CHICKEN!!!-"

Ozymandias:
"Apocalypse's chicken will be crossing your road... it already crossed mine..."

Phoenix:
"I AM CHICKEN AND POULTRY INCARNATE!!"

Prof X:
"It would be immoral for me to probe the chicken's thoughts to understand its logic for crossing the road... not that that'll stop me..." "It was the chicken's Dream to cross the road. We must respect that."

James Proudstar:
"According to Apache legend...My people are dead. My brother died with the X- men and my people were slaughtered by the hellfire club and-- HOLD ME, TERRY!!"

Kitty Pryde:
"The chicken crossed the road because it couldn't bear to listen to me insult PETE!"

Psylocke:
"The hen was simply tired of living in a male dominated world. Is my sequined thong back from the cleaners yet?"
"With the focused totality of it's clucking abilities, the chicken crossed the astral plane..."
"Nothing can escape my psychic chicken, the focused totality of my telepathic powers..."

Cecelia Reyes:
"I don't WANT to be a chicken, I don't WANT to cross the road! I just want to be a doctor!"

Rictor:
"Let's see that bird cross the road during a 5.4 earthquake!!"

Rogue:
"Shut up, Sam. We make REAL fried chicken where I come from ;p"
"Ah envy that chicken. It can touch, an' love, an' feel another chicken.....road, what road, sugah?"

Sabretooth:
"What chicken? Oh, you mean my dinner?"

Shatterstar
"Za's vid! In the gladiatorial arenas, that chicken would be a hero!"
"In MY world, a true warrior would not concern himself with such trivialmatters. But if more then 5 channels cover it simaltenously, it must be significant." "The chicken was fleeing from battle. It was not a true warrior."

Rahne Sinclair:
"Reverend Craig told me that any animal able to cross a road more then 4 lanes wide was a tool of the devil."

Sinister:
"The poultry is now on the other side of the road? At last, my plans are falling into place! smiley - winkeye" "That chicken is the third Summers brother. I must have its DNA..." "Ah, tender fowl... today you cross the road, tomorrow you become the lunch of... SINISTER...."

Spidey:
The chicken crossed the road? I hope it remembers that with great power comes great responsiblity. It must watch over all future chickens unpaid.

Jono Starsmore:
"Ruddy chicken didn't cross the street. It crossed a bog."

~Chicken? Wot chicken? At least th' little plonker's got a smiley - love' beak...~

Monet St. Croix:
"........"
"I presume this is supposed to be funny?"
"It crossed the road because it was able to perfectly time its journey with the flow of traffic in both lanes as well as the radar of any nearby polar -Where is my coloring book? LEE, give it BACK you walking monument to appalling taste."

Storm:
"As a strict observer of a meatless, organic diet, I have no interest in a chicken's movements. ROGUE, when will it be finished?"

Stryfe:
"It is but a pale clone of the original!"

Alex Summers:
"If I was as good as Scott, I could cross that road too!"

Scott Summers:
"I don't KNOW, and stop wasting training time with riddles."
"To get to the other.. JEEEEEEEEEAAAANNNN!!!!! "
"Oh now... it pecked Jean's eyes out! JEEEEEEAN!"

Tabitha:
(As Boom-Boom)"See, there was this chicken, see and this chicken it, well, it died. But, I made it blow up real neat!"
"It wasn't my fault, and I want my discman back."

Warlock:
"Selfriend designate: chicken has successfully navigated transport mode: road. Self is overjoyed!"

Pete Wisdom:
"The flying rat gave him my cigarettes and sent him on a suicide mission. And it CAN talk."

Warren Worthington III:
"A chicken... a chicken with its own feathered wings, magnificent wings. A free chicken.." "WHO CARES? It has its ORIGINAL WINGS. Let me AT IT!"


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 247

Reality Manipulator

Dune Jokes

Why Did the Chicken cross the road: Dune Answers


Fremen
To ride the worm

The emperor
I do not care why the chicken crossed the road all I want is the spice

Paul Mohabib
To join with me and the Fremen in victory over the emperor and the baron

It was the chickens destiny to cross the road

To drink the water of life

Baron
Grab the chicken and make it our prisoner and find it out if it is using spice to cross the road

Alia
To join my brother Paul and the Fremen warriors

Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
To go through it's gom jabbar

Spice Guild
The Spice must flow - the chicken must cross the road

Lady Jessica
Oh how the chicken must have suffered - to be made to cross the road

Chani
To be reunited with its people

Duke Leto Atredis
To escape the tyranny of the emperor and the baron







Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 248

The Liquid Warrior (Vescere bracis meis)

Why did the pervert cross the road?



smiley - biggrin



He was stuck inside the chicken
smiley - run


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Post 249

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

why did the punk cross the road

he was stapled to the chicken


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 250

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

A backward poet writes inverse.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
The short fortune teller who escaped from jail: a small medium at large.
When she first saw the strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts, in feudalism it's your Count that votes.


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Post 251

Cookiecate

Clever, very clever.smiley - laugh


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 252

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

from a matesmiley - smiley

American is touring in Yorkshire and he comes upon a little old man sat outside his cottage with a wooden board across his knees. He is picking a black substance from a bucket by his side, rolling it into little balls, and then putting the balls into little cardboard boxes.

The American watches the old boy for some time, then says,
"Say boy, whatta them there pills you're making ?"
The oldboy continues his pill making process and doesn't look up.
"Them's larnin' pills," he replies in a broad Yorkshire dialect.
"Gee," says the potential purchaser, "how much do they cost."
"I'm chargin' £10 for two." says the ancient.

The American drops a £20 note on the table, and grabs 4 of the pills. The pills are rapidly transferred to his mouth.

Seconds later the American pulls a face and spits the tablets across the moor.
"good grief(can't put other 2 words) !" he screams, "That's sheep manure."

"Aye," say the Yorkshireman, "Tha's larnin'."


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Post 253

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

sensible warnings! I think ?

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sun shield in place." -- On a cardboard sun shield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defence pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Brand name Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a Frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.


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Post 254

Jabberwock


True one: May Cause Drowsiness - on a bottle of sleeping tablets.


Jab smiley - smiley


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Post 255

Reality Manipulator

Read each sentence in sequence. Please don't skip any steps or the mathematics will be thrown off.

Take the following test mentally. Don't write down answers and don't shout them out.


1. Pick a number from 2 to 9. It can be 2 or 9, or any number in-between.




2. Take your number and multiply it by 9.




3. That should give you a 2 digit number. Take these 2 digits and add them together.




4. Take the resulting number and subtract 5 from it.




5. Take that number and correspond it to the alphabet, numbering the letters. A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4 and so on.




6. Take your letter, and think of a country that begins with that letter.




7. Take the last letter in the name of that country, and think of an animal that starts with this letter.




8. Now, take the last letter in the name of that animal, and think of a color that starts with this letter.




9. Oh, and one more thing . . . . .

*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*


There aren't any orange kangaroos in Denmark!


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Post 256

Reality Manipulator

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
How much money do you have?


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Post 257

Reality Manipulator

Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.
A: A tree in a golden forest.
A: Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.
A: One to change and one not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is Four. One to change the bulb.
A: None. Zen masters carry their own light.
A: Three. Two to fetch the wood and one to enlighten the novice.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 258

Reality Manipulator

Q: How many Local Government Officials does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Fifty, one to change the light bulb and 49 to carry out a fact finding mission to Barbados to see how they change light bulbs there.


Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 259

Reality Manipulator

OLIVER STONE: the question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" rather, it is, "who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our hast to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.







Jest'er Joke or two, to pass the time away

Post 260

Reality Manipulator

I am Clinton of Borg. You will not really be assimilated, exactly....
I am Stephanopolous of Borg. It's not assimilation, it's diversity...
I am Hillary of Borg. Prepare to be ... uh, I don't recall.
I am Madonna of Borg. Resistance turns me on.
I am Kojak of Borg. Who loves to assimilate ya, baby.
I am Ginsu of Borg. You WILL be ASSIMILATED, but wait! That's not all!
I am Hamlet, of Borg! Prepare to be...or not to be...
I am Oprah of Borg. So, why did you assimilate your husband?
I am Lancelot of Borg. Resistance is feudal.
I am Haskell of Borg. You resist well, Mrs. Cleaver.
I am Lennon of Borg. Imagine there's no assimilation...
I am Baez of Borg. What if we gave an assimilation and nobody came?
I am Opie of Borg. Can I assimilate 'em, Pa?
I am Quayle of Borg. Speling is irelevante.
I am Smorgas of Borg. You will be marinated.
I am Fonda of Borg. After assimilation, you will have Buns of Steel.


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