h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the theatre's restaurant you can hear the sound of actors rhubarbing as they mumbled on about the quality of the rhubarb crumble and the rhubarb cookies. One of the restaurant staff quipped, "that's just how the cookie crumbles."

My grandfather's sister used to work in the bakery. The long hours left her irritable. She was a cross-aunt.

My friend in Nairobi is awesome; she’s like a Wonder of the World. We call her both Wonder Woman and the Grand Kenyan.

Speaking of the Grand Kenyan -- er, Canyon -- My cousin was very impressed by the deep ravines there. "It was gorges," she told me.

My sister was telling me about our cousin. I have to say, he sounds familia.

An angrybaker came at me with a ryeful, a 12-grain pumpernickel shotgun. He look at me with such loaving, and said “You’re a gluten for punishment.” I never should crust the guy. I barley survived the encounter, and there were no wheatnesses.

"open Sesame" seed and the bun stayed closed ?

I went to a cottage that had been converted into a restaurant where the owner had her hair in a cottage bun hairstyle. Her signature dish was cottage pie which was served with vegetables grown in her cottage garden. She baked her own bread which consisted of cottage loaves and cottage buns which sold like hot cakes.

Do hot cross buns swear ?

Why did the Pun Knight go to the punk night?

Sir Reel was an expressionist dancer with some really weird moves

Accountants should only use real lipstick figures

Sir Ivor hadenough, runs away from a joust

The baker got hot under the collar when baking a baker's dozen of hot cross buns as she could not bake them quick enough for her customers as they were getting very cross and impatient.

The dog reused to accept a telephone call because there was no collar I.D.

catastrophic doesn't mean putting a into orbit

And catnip doesn't involve nipping a cat.

Simba wants to cat-a-pult himself to fame with his purrfectly relaxing purrs and a-meowsing meows for stressed out humans.

But cats also can *cause* stress. You come home from work exhausted, and nothing can cushion the blow of seeing the stuffing torn from the couch by cat claws.

There's a murmur ration doing the rounds saying spring is on its way!