A Conversation for Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Peer Review: A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 1

Gazongola-Small Time Whovian and Big Time Nutter (and now old enough to drink, but politics is still a less favourable subject)

Entry: Star Wars Imperial Superlaser - A2697285
Author: Gazongola - U564956

This is my first entry, so be gentle!


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 2

xwing328

It actually seems to be pretty good. I don't know if we're supposed to write about fiction, but from my knowledge, it all seems correct. There were only one or to typos that I noticed, so smiley - ok


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 3

Secretly Not Here Any More

I'm not entirely sure this is appropriate for the edited guide, as it is basically a peice of fiction, and a rewrite of the databank on www.starwars.com

Psycorp (Sub-Ed)


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 4

RFJS__ - trying to write an unreadable book, finding proofreading tricky

It could easily be rephrased to make it clear that it's _about_ a piece of fiction. Possibly it's rather too specific; then again, this is the Guide to Life, the Universe and Everything.


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 5

Smij - Formerly Jimster

A tricky one, as we do have entries on other spaceships from Star Wars, but as Psycorp notes, we're much keener on content that's both rooted in fact and not just copied from (or relies heavily on) material available elsewhere.

What I'd suggest is thinking about how you'd explain it to someone who is not a Star Wars fan. Firstly, you'd need an introduction that explains that Star Wars is a film that features a number of spectacular spaceships, each with their own unique look and abilities.

A second paragraph might introduce the one you're discussing here - with note to the Star Destroyer that so iconically introduced the first Star Wars film.

As you appear to be discussing a specific sub-class of that iconic ship, it might hep to explain where viewers / readers / gameplayers might have seen this craft (I don't knwo where it's from and to be honest have only scan-read the entry for now).

From there, it's best to discuss the craft with an awareness that it's not real (so references to Grand Moff Tarkin would also have to be explained ('within the backstory, as explained in [insert source here], the development of the craft was overseen by Grand Moff Tarkin...').

What I hope I'm saying here is - don't give up. This might not be ready yet, but it's more than fixable. smiley - cheers

Jimster


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 6

Gazongola-Small Time Whovian and Big Time Nutter (and now old enough to drink, but politics is still a less favourable subject)

Thanks on your comments guys. Jimster, I kind of understood what you meant, but some of it was a bit obscure. Could you clarify it a bit?
Oh, by the way, I might write another entry.smiley - smiley


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 7

Gazongola-Small Time Whovian and Big Time Nutter (and now old enough to drink, but politics is still a less favourable subject)

Here is the new entry. A2779149. Please feel free to read and review it.smiley - smiley


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 8

Zerrett87

"The Hichhicker's Guide To The Galaxy" is for info on Life the Universe and Everything. This would fall under Everything.


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 9

Zerrett87

Oh and Jimster Its "Deth Star" not "Star Destroyer".
Don't mean to be rude or anything.


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 10

Secretly Not Here Any More

/Death/ Star.


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 11

RFJS__ - trying to write an unreadable book, finding proofreading tricky

I think he was referring to the Star Destroyer that appears right at the beginning of 'A New Hope'.


A2697285 - Star Wars Imperial Superlaser

Post 12

Gazongola-Small Time Whovian and Big Time Nutter (and now old enough to drink, but politics is still a less favourable subject)

No. He is talking about the Death Star, but I know what he meant.smiley - biggrin


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