h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Both!

I bet the results will be delicious, then.

I wonder if one could take some delicious and then distill them into a fine wine.

I tried that once

It didn't end well
*Rembers the Emergencey services*
We must never speak of it again

Really? I'm sorry to hear that.

*The assistant librarian appears!*
Alright then, who's been bringing food in here? You shouldn't eat in a library you know. It's too messy.

Also, why aren't you sharing?

*hides large quantities of Cake and whistles innocently*

A lot of libraries allow food and drinks nowadays. Rarely are their custodians happyh about it, though.

Well, I suppose that depends on library, and on the books. If you have old and/or rare books, you probably don't want people handling them with food nearby.
On the other hand, if I were running, say, a library for 'young adults' (teens, tweens, whatever), I would probably make sure there are plenty of greasy snacks next to the 'Twilight' shelf. Maybe some drinks, in unstable containers. Maybe some matches.

Guess who just walked in? Stephenie Meyer!
Save some of those snacks for her.

Well, I _was_ speaking hypothetically, yaknow.

But since she's here... hey, Steph, I got someone to introduce to you! His name's Vlad, and he'd just LOVE to discuss your books with you.

Yes, yes, of *course* you were being hypothetical .

To be fair, vampire literature has developed in strange and myriad ways over the decades and bears little resemblence to the original folk tales. To be unfair, I hate the Twilight books and all they represent.

I ignore them totally, and I'm sure they ignore me just as totally.

Disclaimer: I have never attempted to actually read the books, and I get all my knowledge of them from places like this excellent (although apparently terminally hiatused, now) blog: http://vampirely.wordpress.com/

Honestly, I think it's good enough. I never would have read the books anyway; I'm just not the target audience, and nothing about them seems appealing to me.


That being cleared: I think the problem with Meyer's books isn't whether she adhers to some 'canon' of vampire lore. The spakling thing is easy to make fun of, because it's the most obvious symptom, so to speak, but it's not the real problem.
The problem is that from all I've seen, she's recreated vampires as a bunch of creatures that are absolutely perfect, and therefore uninteresting. They have no faults. They're immortal, stronger, smarter, faster and more beautiful (except some of the bad vampires, that are just regular-looking) than humans, have all sorts of mental superpowers, and can't be harmed by pretty much anything (except other vampires, I think). In addition, any possible moral dilemmas are rendered pointless by the fact they don't really have to drink human blood if they don't really want to; they have some sort of 'urge' but they seem to overcome it quite easily. They don't even have fangs. Nothing that could possibly be unseemly. And yes, sunlight doesn't hurt them, it makes them sparkle. And while the sparkling in itself is stupid, like I said - it's just the most ridiculous symptom. Her vampires are just completely uninteresting.
Nowdd to that the general vapidness of a teen love story, the bad writing (from what I've seen elsewhere, as explained above), and the dangerously revisionist messages (read this, for example: http://vampirely.wordpress.com/2009/05/10/extra-credit-the-twilight-saga-and-domestic-abuse/ ), plus the insane hype/worship that developed around the books, and you can see why I hate the whole thing so much.