h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Don't swallow those, or a watermelon will grow in your stomach."

Or maybe I just come from a twisted family...

uh . . . I thought that was how you got pregnant

No, I've heard that one too. It also applies to apple cores, apricot stones and insect larvae.

Incidentally, a related old wives tail (about strange things happening in your stomach) concerns swallowing chewing gum, which will apparently stay in your stomach for something like 7 years. Or it will wrap around your heart and kill you, depending how over-protective your mother was when she warned you about these things.

Blimey, I must have had a sheltered upbringing, I never heard any of those.
However some of these rediculous tales seem to be based on some truth...like the carrots making you see in the dark etc. However I was never convinced with the one about picking your nose making your brain leak out.....

Hee hee. I never had the snot=brains fallacy as a kid. So how did you justify blowing your brains out into a tissue?

Another slightly less apocryphal warning was "don't put coins in your mouth; you never know where they've been". Of course we know where they've been - in people's pockets and purses. Or is there someone out there who all our mothers know about who puts coins somewhere WORSE?
Frankly I quite like the taste of coins.

Oh its okay to blow your nose becuase thats snot....its the solid stuff thats brains....

Coins....as kids we preferred to shove smarties up our noses.....we had been told they would end up in your tummy....most of ours ended up in a kidney dish at the hospital foloowing surgical removal.....

Is the nasal cavity hot enough to melt a Smartie? That would certainly cause difficulties.

I hate to shatter the illusion about the taste of coins, and possibly cure your coin-eating habit forever (those of a squeamish nature may wish to scroll straight past this message)


My mum (gord bless 'er) is a nurse, and at one point used to work in the casualty department.
One of the regular feature of any casualty/A&E/ER department (call it what you will) is the regular admittance of the drunken tramps (or whatever your curious local colloquialism may be).
One of the regulars at the hospital my mum (gord bless 'er) worked at frequently came in caked in his own s**t - and embedded in this s**t were several pounds-worth of coins.


Sorry. I did warn you.

Oh wow. Thanks! I had been trying to identify that particular taste for years, and that was it: sh*t encrusted tramp flavour.

I hope your mum gets paid well.

Glad I solvewd your conundrum.
And no, my mum doesn't get paid well - she works for the NHS!!

AndyF