h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I happen to know from reading New Scientist a lot that Murphy was involved in some engineering, I believe they were making rocket propelled sleds, or something (this is all from memory, by the way). There was a really big dramatic build up to some test or other, and it completely and utterly failed to work. When checked, it turned out that every single one of the ignition plug thingies had been wired the wrong way around... hence, if something can go wrong, it will.

I prefer the version 'anything you let go wrong, will' - it says that basically you shouldn't leave anything to chance. I think that Murphy would also have preferred this version... apparently he was fairly miffed about a superstitious law thingy being named after him...

As for the toast, it was in fact my Dad who came up with the idea that toast always lands buttered side down because of the geometry of the problem... basically if toast is knocked sideways off the plate, it feels a rotating force as it goes over the edge... and it turns out that this rotating force is always enough to flip it half a turn. You need either 3m high people or toast cubes 1cm in size, I believe... it turns out that the universe is stacked against us.

It recently occured to me that the universe is against intelligent beings in other ways. In answer to the question 'why is life so complicated'... human intelligence only evolved when things started to get complicated. Thus, wherever you find intelligent life... you will also find complications. The balance of probability is that any intelligent creature will find life difficult...

And I consider myself an optimist.

Well I feel I have to clarify.The actual statement was "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of them will result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it." Edward A. Murphy, Jr. was an engineer for rocket sleds to test human acceleration tolerances. For reference consult "The New Hacker's Dictionary" from M.I.T. press.

BTW The statement "If anything can go wrong it will" is actually Finagles Law.

I used to have a book called 'The Book of Laws', which contained things like Murphy's Law and the Peter Principle (People get promoted to their level of incompetence). Under 'Asimov' it said 'See Robotics' (for Asimovs' Three Laws of Robotics). There was no entry for Robotics. I don't care whether it was Murphy, Finagle or Sod, but somebody got in there and screwed things up!

I personally don't eat toast, and I'm thinking about changing my name to Murphy because the law fits me better than anyone else I've met. (I would call myself The Duck, but people might not get the reference.)

One thing that is comparable to Murphy's Law is irony. (Or maybe irony is comparable to Murphy's Law.) I bought a book called Murphy's World (and May Your Toast Occasionally Land Butter-Side Up) and the publishers had forgotten to include the last third of the book. Naturally, as I discovered after months of searching, it was the only copy that I could find anywhere.

I think that a good way to put it would be: If anything can go wrong, it will; the severity of the problem will be directly proportional to the amount of effort you put into preventing it, and the nature of the problem will be the most offensive, humiliating, or just plain dumb thing that you Can't possibly imagine.

Of course, if parents or in-laws are involved, your problem will be raised to the power of infinity, and it will NEVER, EVER, be their fault. (Does it sound like I'm speaking from experience? I can't see why...)

That states... "The first 90% of the code takes 90% of the time to write. The last 10% takes the other 90% of the time."

Then there's the law that states: 'Whatever the problem (bug) is, you won't be able to spot it. Any one you ask for help won't be able to spot it either. The person whose opinion you really don't want will glance over your shoulder and spot it immediately.' I'm a software engineer; been there, done that!

Hmmm... been there, done that. Except that as I program in my room what with not actually doing programming as a job and being merely fourteen years of age, there are no useful people to wander past and spot the mistake. So it usually stays unspotted, until the program, or what would be the program if it worked, has become obsolete, completely unusable, or mutated into something which I wouldn't even have considered writing in the first place. Sometimes this takes more than a few hours.

We also have "Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology" whick states.. "There is always one more bug."

Then there's the laws that state 'All software can be reduced by at least one line of code' and 'All software contains at least one bug'. Put them together and you have 'All software can be reduced to a single line of code that doesn't work'

How do you think that Microsoft produced Windows 95

Windows 95 consists of more than one line of code and a proportional number of bugs. Mind you, I get your point.

I don't know if you've seen estimates for the new version of Windows NT (originally NT 5, but now Windows 2000 to give them a deadline for getting it released). Estimates of code size are generally between 20 and 40 MILLION lines of code. The lowest estimate I've seen is 13 million and the highest in excess of 50 million. A general rule of thumb is that well-tested software contains 1 bug per 1000 lines of code. This means that Windows 2000 will contain at least 20 - 40 thousand bugs (of varying severity). However, I don't know of any one who regards Microsoft code as well tested, so think of a very large number and double it.

I think I've got off the subject a little!

Is it possilbe therefore to use murphy and his law to our advantage, and stick a corporate pair of fingers up at the universe and say sort that one out!
The idea that i heard expounded is intruiging:
If toast (for the stated reasons) will land on the buttered side, and by a twist of nature cats always land on thier feet, surely if you starpped a piece of buttered toast onto the back of cat buttered side up and then let go..... Could this not be the answer to cheep and readily availabe repulsion technology for transport. afix for wier cages to the bottom of a vehicle and place one cat/toast repulsing unit in each and there we have it a hover vehicle!

The hover-invention will not work because it is itself subject to Murphy's Law. Most probably the outcome will be unpredictable. It is a bit like Schrödingers cat actually. Both cat and toast will become a instable waveform wich will collapse in the least desired state.
Another one: Mother Nature is smarter than you, and she hates you.

The toast and the cat will both attempt to be pointed at the ground and in doing so create a circular mottion so strong that it will briefly simulate 10 hurricains at once beor the straps brake and one of the two (the weeker one) is sent upward at escape velocity and the other creates a deep crater in the ground. (Scientists have stopped doing such tests becuase the humane society keeps protesting)

Yes, I forgot one part of the equation, everything that can go wrong with the straps, will go wrong. But what about buttering toast at both sides?

Is that not rather messy?

Having multiple cats, and a toaster right at hand, I've attempted the same said cat-toast experiment numerous times. The actual results of the experiment are as follows:

Having strapped the toast to the cat, I let the cat drop, upside down, so it would have to flip onto it's feet. Instead of the desired affect, the cat, and therefore, the toast as well, gained velocity, and hit the floor with what I considered a most amazing sound, which I will not attempt to reproduce. Butter and toast covered a good portion of the surrounding area, and if it weren't for the fact that the cat was slightly stunned, and that I am a good deal faster than it is anyway, I might've been killed.

On the subject of Murphy's Law, or whomever, some of the lesser known laws are these:

the Tetral Law:
The object you are looking for, usually a long thin piece, will remain hidden from you until such time that it is no longer of any use to you at all, and then it will appear to you en masse.

Law of Leftovers:
If you're planning on eating it for dinner, someone has already eaten it for lunch.

The Law of Gambling:
When the winnings will be paltry, you'll win, probably repeatedly. This will raise your spirits, make you think you're a better player than you are, and cause to begin to toss money about, at which point you will lose horribley, have to sell your house, and move in with your mother and law, which will have you headed directly back to the gambling tables, or to a bar, whichever is closer.

I have discovered after long years of thourough reaserch that fact of a toast hitting the floor buttered side down is not an absolute but a probability. And that said probability is in direct order related to the cost of the carpeting on previously mentionned floor.

Try this at home! And use different samples of carpeting in a varying price range, you'll see for yourself.

My favourite variation on Murphy's Law was always:

"When you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof collapses"